by Es 17 Replies latest jw friends
They are conflicted in their treatment of you. On the one hand, they want contact with you and love your son, on the other they fear that by not taking the hard line, they are encouraging you in a lifestyle that, in their opinion, will lead to your destruction at Armageddon since it conflicts with their understanding of the Bible.
They are neither being faithful to you or the JW's and are trying to sit the fence on this one.
imho...
J
btw, CONGRATULATIONS on your upcoming wedding! Very cool...
es I really have only one thing to say and it's this; if you are mature enough to get married and mature enough to have handed in your DA letter, let it go........you are no longer a JW and therefore no longer part of your parents life. Is this about being a mature young lady leading her own life, or a party you are having which says "I'm married now" therefore I deserve to have what I want for my party?
Sorry if I sound so blunt, but this is your life and if you don't give it and your impending marriage the respect it deserves then you are still your Daddy's little girl looking for his blessings (which he's said won't happen) and that's not fair to your soon to be husband. He can never make up for what your Daddy gave away, you are setting him up to fail as your husband.
Let it go! The best response to your JW family is to live your life well and show them you can have a happy life outside the B'org.
Good luck and congrats!
Kate
Thanks all for your wonderful reply's.
It's not the fact of the music, I can get that anywhere, It's the fact that my father thinks by lending me some of his cd's he is supporting my marriage.
My first wedding was to a brother, they didnt like him either. We never did anything scriptually wrong, but we were told we couldnt have the hall unless my father comes to the wedding. My dad wasnt going to walk me down the aisle up until the day of the wedding when he changed his mind, I didnt even know if they were going to show up to my reception, or not. All the family photos did not have my hubby in them. They really ruined my day.
My brother got married a year ago to a sister. They no longer go to meetings, but I know for a fact that they were sleeping together before there wedding and she actually got pregnant and had an abortion (paid by the mother also a sister). My parents not knowing any of this info and still dont, quite happily went to there wedding sat up the front of the hall went to the reception had a great time.
I know its not there fault they dont know what my brother has been up to, but here I am not even allowed to borrow cd's coz know im marrying out of the truth.
When my dad said everything would be alright if I dont bring up the wedding, my reply back was ok as long as you dont bring up the truth ever again in front of me. You either accept me as I am now or you dont at all.
Thanks for all the congrats everyone
luv ya
es
Same thing happened to me. When I told my mother I was getting married she was so happy. Then all of a sudden she said she and my sister said they were not coming to the wedding because that would show they approved of me marrying a "worldly person". She must have talk to an Pharasie elder. Even though I had not went to a meeting in over 5 years at the time. She said that if I hadn't been baptised she would have came, but since I was baptised witness it was wrong. However, a month or so after the wedding she wanted to come and visit and wants us to visit as much as possible. It doesn't make sense to me or my wife. If were so bad that they can't come to our wedding, why is it OK to come to our house and stay the weekend.
I try to not say anythng about it. I realize they are brainwashed and will do anything the Borg tells them to. It's funny how they put all the emphasis on outward appearance. She's starting to come around now since my sister's marriage to a wonderful brother ended in a messy divorce one year later. I can tell in her voice that she regrets not coming.
You can really only feel pity for the witnesses now. They are under such control that they can't even make a simple decision like going to their child's wedding. What is supposed to be one of the happiest times in your life, they turn into a way to show how rightous they are. Good luck with your wedding and have a wonderful honeymoon.
hey there hecklerboy,
Thats exactly what they said to me, that if i wasnt baptized they could come to the wedding. But because I am then really I should know better. Its so @#$%. Anyway Im kinda glad they are not coming coz they ruined the first time i got married.
es
Hey Es,
Tell them you do know better. You know better than to marry some stupid brother who's only reason for getting married is to finally have sex. You know better than to stay with a religion that says it speaks for God, but has hundreds of man made rules. And you know better than to give your life to a religion that is doomed.
Don't worry about them not coming. My wife and I had a wonderful wedding without my family. Funy thing is my sister couldn't figure out why we didn't come to her wedding. I mean, duh, you don't come to my wedding, I'm not coming to yours. They just don't get it do they?
Es! I WENT THROUGH THE SAME THING! My family did not want to come because it would show support...even though I was unbaptized myself. I "leaked" this info to close relatives who were not JW's. My moms sister who she is close with talked to my mom and of course it looks like a "bad witness". That and I think going to the assembly helps although they are good about not pressuring me. Currently, my family IS planning on going to the wedding although I think that is where their participation stops.
Do you have any "unbelieving" relatives?
hey Jwbot,
Yeah all the rest of my family, nan and cousins are not Jw's so hopefully they will come along for a bit of support
es
