Hi AA!
The problem that I'm worried about causing, is that sometimes, when you try to be firm with kids it sets their minds more on doing what you don't want them to do. Though I have nothing against this young lady, I believe that she will never fully leave the JWs which is fair enough for her. But I don't want Son to be drawn into JW nutty behaviour either. I am hoping that in time they will drift apart, and that my not really objecting to their affair will mean that I'm not pushing them into anything.
I would be concerned about saying, 'don't bring her to our house'! I don't want to hurt her feelings as I understand that her life, or double life is hard enough for her.
My recollection of her father and Grandfather is that they were the worst kind of Elders you could imagine. Really heartless, domineering and ruthless! I'm afraid I feel very sorry for her. She complains that her father is violent to her and her mother, but not her brothers. This is nothing surprising but....well, I don't want to see her REALLY in trouble. I would NEVER rat on her!