Explaining Christmas to My 10 Year Old Daughter...

adelmaal

I was talking with my daughter yesterday about the Memorial. She would like to go. It falls on my day with her and I previously noticed that Christmas falls on her dad's day with her this year. I have never had any problem with my daughter attending the Memorial with her dad on my day but he has had her the past 2 years for Christmas and he has issues with me having her for Christmas on his day. I really want her to be with my family this year for Christmas. Her dad is a stinker when it comes to my celebrating holidays with her though.

I asked my daughter if she wanted to celebrate Christmas with us this year and she said she does. She also said, "Can you please not tell my dad though because he'll get all scriptural on me."

I told her that I would need to convince your dad to trade the Memorial for Christmas so we can have you so I couldn't guarantee he wouldn't talk to her about it. I then told her that we could go over some information about Christmas and look at what the Bible has to say and then she can make an informed decision and she will at least be able to tell her dad why she feels it's ok to celebrate Christmas and why it does not bother her conscience. She then said, "Then I can tell him he's wrong!"

I said, "I don't know it you should put it that way but you can tell him you do not agree with his opinion and you would like to celebrate Christmas."

Anywho...

I want to talk to her about the following:

- Christmas having pagain origins

- Why we celebrate Christmas (not for pagan reasons)

- Other things that are of pagan origin (i.e. makeup, wedding rings, cremation (SP?), wedding practices

- The June 15 pinata article (she says she remembers it)

- How the WT/Awake! are just journals written by men. They are not inspired by God. They are merely the opinions of men. Only the Bible is inspired by God. And I want to share some scriptures showing how anything beyond the Bible is man's word and not God's.

Any scripures, points, WT/Awake! articles, etc. you feel would be helpful in speaking with my daughter on this subject prior to talking with her dad?

franklin J

In my own personal experience; I think you are on the right track about discussing the origins of ALL of our Western Civilizations customs---as they all have some kind of "pagan" ( loosely translated to be Ancient Roman) origins.

Yes, our lifestyle; architecture and city planning and even language is loosely based on the ancient Roman way of life.

But as for Xmas and other holidays-----why does it have to have any other meaning than that is is fun; joyous and makes you feel like you belong? Who are we hurting by enjoying the festivities with the rest of the Western World?

As for the memorial; if she wants to go---I say let her go. Why does there have to be a trade off? Show her that she can have both if she wants to. Simpy tell her father that this is the way it is going to be; especially if Xmas falls on your day with her.

Sorry, but it has been so long since I have been a JW; I can no longer quote publications; good luck.; I am sure that by your balancing influence, your daughter will see both sides and be able to think for herself, and make an informed decision when she is older.

(PS. I would still blast her grandfather .....still holding a grudge from the other days post....)

adelmaal

I have told her she is more than welcome to go to the Memorial and I have never given her dad issues with her going. She knows this.

But he is unwilling to allow her to celebrate the holidays with us. The Memorial is important to him and Christmas is important to us. The only way I can see him letting her be with us on Christmas, which is his day with her, is if I present it as a trade off. I'm not sure how to present it any other way and be able to get her on Christmas (without a major court battle, which I cannot afford).

I am sick and tired of it being his way only. The door should swing both ways. I don't know how else to present it.

Valis

I am sick and tired of it being his way only. The door should swing both ways. I don't know how else to present it.

perhaps this is the time where you need to take legal action. I mean really, terms of custody are not very often one sided, especially where conflicting matters of religion are at issue. His choice to be a Witness (i.e. his actions toward your custody arrangement) falls in direct conflict with your daughter living a life that pretty much all of society finds to be normal. Excluding her from celebrations you choose to participate in is showing off the cult like nature of the Witnesses to say the least. Also just plain mean if you ask me.

Sincerely,

District Overbeer

franklin J

now I see your dilema; I agree with you about the trade off; it is a reasonable approach to obtain what you want.. If your x does not play ball, perhaps Valis advise of presenting a legal argument has some merit.

My experience with the JWs is that they are bullies; when confronted with a bigger stick they ALWAYS back down.

good luck

adelmaal

I agree that to take her dad to court would be the best option for many reasons. It is just not a realistic option at this point for my family though. We have debts to be paid and we do not have the monies to invest in an attorney.

So for now I resort to tit-for-tat and hope my daughter sees that we are being reasonable while her dad is not.

Anymore advice on specifics I can present to my daughter would be greatly appreciated... I'm currently doing online research.

Valis

you know going to CPS with concerns does not require a lawyer.

Sincerely,

District Overbeer

Elsewhere

- Christmas having pagain origins

Don't forget that just about anything in our society that is old has pagan origins. You can't drop it all without becoming a hermit who lives on an island in the middle of nowhere.

Christmas
Easter
The Calendar
Greek Architecture (White with columns...)
Jesus
Hebrew God "Jehovah"
Saying Amen

Namasti

How the WT/Awake! are just journals written by men. They are not inspired by God. They are merely the opinions of men. Only the Bible is inspired by God. And I want to share some scriptures showing how anything beyond the Bible is man's word and not God's.

Very interesting that We, as xjw's are so used to having to quote scripture and prove whatever it is we need to prove, but why not go light. Christmas is fun for many. It just feels great. It makes people happy, families use this as a time to get together, etc, etc, etc. Your daughter seems very bright and I think she will figure out sooner or later that even the bible is Man's word, not Gods. God doesn't write books--men do. They need the money, God doesn't. I think God can talk to us in many ways---through our feelings, happy, peaceful thoughts. There are many ways God can communicate with us besides using words, especially words in a book. Stretch even furthur now and go beyond the Bible, then you're truly free.

Jahna

I know it is difficult to not have your children during holidays etc. But you can work around it if only to add peace to your life and the life of your children.

For several years I had Christmas on the closest day I got my kids during the holiday season. This may mean we had two, one on Christmas day and one on the weekend when we had the children. It may seem strange, but it can work, and if you play it up right, you can make it even a more special day. I did the same for birthdays.

In my opinion children should never be in the middle of parents, sacrificing yourself for your kids may be the right option. I make it a point now to let my kids know they will make the choice on what to believe, and how to believe it. Not me, and not the rest of their family. Their belief structure will be their own to make and cherish. Keeping the arguing between parents to a dull roar helps in allowing the kids to see respect for other belief systems from at least one parent, they will in time really see the difference on their own and make their own choice.

Jahna

Explaining Christmas to My 10 Year Old Daughter...

Share this