There was a young sister in our congregation(21 years of age). She became engaged to a 45-year old brother, who was recently widowed and had 7 small kids. One was just a baby. Not sure what she was thinking.. anyways, after being engaged awhile. she changed her mind and said she wasn't sure. Her family was happy, because they didn't want her marrying a man with all those kids. But the elders met with her and told her that she HAD to marry him. Since she was engaged, that was as good as getting married. We went to the ceremony, the bride was an hour and a half late. I am sure she was trying to work up the courage to actually go thru with it all. But she did. They had lots of problems.Her husband ended kicking out his teenage son, because he was jealous and thought something might happen between his new young wife and his son. His son lived with my husband( we were just engaged at the time) for a while , He was a psycological mess. I felt so sorry for him.He moved away after we married and we lost touch with him. The brother and his young wife had another baby together. The last time I saw them was 18 years ago. The last assembly before we left. She didn't seem that happy. I never found out if they are still together. We still shake our heads that the elders felt they could mess with her young life and force her to marry that man who was way too old for her. Its true. Some elders get on real power trips.....
Question for Tepic or anyone else who has an answer.
by loosie 16 Replies latest watchtower beliefs
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tepic
Loosie
Now on to my question. Why would Elders literally try to keep a couple (both in good standing) from getting married? And why would the PO actually scream at the girl during at commitee meeting? Isn't there some rule that, that is inappropriate behaviour during a comittee meeting?
Others here have given you better answers than I could thanks to their experiences. I'll just add the following
From the PAY ATTENTION book page 112
Elders need to treat the accused kindly and respectfully,
never harshly. (w89 9/15 p. 19) -
peacefulpete
Yes there are many reminders to be calm and kind however that does not prevent emotional abuse from happening. Reason is that the whole arrangement of men being assembled to assess and judge and "correct" a person has intrinsic flaws. It is simply impossible to elevate your self as agent of heaven without manifesting a superior attitude. I look back at the arrogance i manifested even though I thought I was humble, it sickens me. Advice is one thing, "direction" is quite another thing. earlier in my youth my wife and I were also given a hard time. My wife was told some private matters so as to disuade her from dating me. It made me furious and rightly so, the jackass went on to become a CO. Interstingly the general opinion was that he was in a position to do less harm as a C.O. than in a cong. setting. Go figure.
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loosie
Wow thanks for sharing your experiences with me. I had never heard an instance before where elders personally tried to keep a couple apart for no good reason. It makes me feel better knowing I am not the only one they have done this to. And next time, if there is a next time they yell at me I am yelling back. ;-)
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Bryan
why would the PO actually scream at the girl during at commitee meeting?
Have you ever been in one(CM)? I've been in meetings in the back room and yelled at more than once! And, yes, once by the PO! Don't get me started. That's the reason I finally got out. Thanks guys!
Bryan
Have You Seen My Mother
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kwintestal
Where's that scripture where Jesus yelled at that guy? You know, the guy who forgot to put in his field service report.
Kwin
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loosie
I don't know where that one is Kwin. When you find it would you post it please?....lol