When Death Leaves You All Alone.

by Englishman 12 Replies latest jw friends

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  Englishman

  I've just had a really interesting chat with my nearest and dearest.
  
  We were talking about the fact that when one of us dies the other will be left alone. We agreed that the surviving one should be able to talk about the deceased one without adopting a holy sepulchral voice and that both our spoken and remembered memories of each other will be full of fun and laughter.

  We also agreed that the surviving mate would want to build a new life, take on fresh interests and travel the world as much as possible. We've also told our boys how we feel, we dont want them to insist on us maintaining a sacred type of memory of the departed one. Very stifling! We agreed that living a full life after a partners death was the greatest compliment that you could pay to your mate, because that meant that during your marriage you had shared a partnership rather than a dependancy.

  Ain't that nice?

  Englishman.

  ..... fanaticism masquerading beneath a cloak of reasoned logic.
• 

  Billygoat

  That's great! If only all couples were that healthy - we wouldn't have the divorce rates we do. I'm glad things are going well for you!

  Billygoat
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  manicmama

  That is exactly what my husband and I have discussed! Having an Irish background I want a good old fashioned wake with lots of drinking and carousing! I believe your life should be celebrated, imagine what will happen if I go before my mother and in-laws do (both devout dubs!), they think I will of course "at least" have a JW funeral. Not on your life, so to speak!
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  Tina

  (((((((((((eguy))))))))))))

  Very wise and very healthy attitude there! I'm in total agreement! Life is for the living....while we never forget loved ones, the highest honor one can show them is continuing on strongly, taking with you all the gifts and enrichments they have contributed. Using those to continue to grow ....luv,Tina
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  reagan_oconnor

  manic: you are a woman after me own heart! My husband & I have both agreed on this same issue; lots of food, lots of pictures, good stories told by those that loved us, and our ashes spread deep in the quiet part of the forest.

  Who needs an afterlife?!

  Cheers,
  Reagan

  
  I am the master of my fate/I am the captain of my soul.
• 

  safe4kids

  Eman,

  That's great! You and your wife sound like you have the kind of relationship I would like to have. (Sigh) Some day, eh?

  (((Tina)))I agree...life is for the living and we hold the memories of loved ones in our hearts. I've lost loved ones to death...and I've lost loved ones to the death of the WTS shunning policies. In many ways, the second one is more painful and yet I hold them close in my memories of them and in the love I feel for them in my heart. And personally, I want a party (Tracy, you paying attention??) and my ashes scattered at my favorite place in the world...the waters of the Gulf of Mexico off the island of Captiva in south Florida...

  Dana

  "Someday we'll find it...the rainbow connection...the lovers, the dreamers and me"

  Kermit the Frog
  "Rainbow Connection"
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  Tina

  (((((((((Danabel)))))))))))))

  Girlfriend we are too much alike!1 I told my son I wanted my ashes strewn in the Gulf of mexico too!! (Cancun or Ixtapa tho) but still.......are you sure were not related? :>

  I understand how it feels worse losing loved ones to shunning. With death ,as traumatic as that is,you know it's final,they're gone. Nothing one can do. But shunning,they're alive and kicking and we KNOW they are there,but can't be part of them...it's ongoing,not final. And that makes it worse in many ways.....Anyway,I ramble luv ya hun! Always,Tina
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  Flip

  We also agreed that the surviving mate would want to build a new life, take on fresh interests and travel the world as much as possible.

  Also sound advice to heed before one gets slammed by the proverbial bus, Anglo-Saxon dude.

  I'm surprised your spouse didn't say, "Why wait to build a new life, take on fresh interests and travel the world as much as possible...lets start now!"

  Mind you, in moderation, after all you'd want to have something left to do once either of you snuff it.

  Flip
• 

  safe4kids

  (((((((Tina)))))))... LOLOL...There MUST be some family connection somewhere, just has to be!!

  Anyway, as always, thanks for the support!

  Luv you too,
  Dana

  "Someday we'll find it...the rainbow connection...the lovers, the dreamers and me"

  Kermit the Frog
  "Rainbow Connection"
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  VeniceIT

  well I want my ashes scatterd over Venice Italy of course!!!

  Ven

  "The best way to convince a fool that he is wrong, is to let him have his own way."---Josh Billings