Re: the funeral that I did not want to go to today!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (page 2)

Carmel

Do keep us posted as to your "hipocracy". Don't be too hard on yourself! My only question would be, what happens when your family dissapoints you?

carmel

Hi Cindy, I'm glad your experience turned out as it did, considering the circumstances. Nothing is as strong as the wish for connect with family. I could never imagine what it would be like to have my mother or other close relatives shun me. None of my immediate family have ever been witnesses.

Even when one of my distant relatives was shunned in the KH, I purposely made it a point to show publicly my protest of the shuning by embracing her after every meeting, I think to shun is cruel and abusive punishment. I was young then and didn't understand entirely all that was involved, but I knew enough to realize that the shunning was infantile, emotionally abusive and something less than human.

I would never tell anyone from the boards that they should never go back to the Hall, my faith, or lack thereof even, cannot save you. Yours is no disgrace, you only need to do what is best for you. I wish you all the best as you make your place in this complex world. May the peace that belongs to God cover you in your journey, whether you be in the borg or out.

Respectfully Arthur

Had Enough

Hi Cindy:

"You don't know me from Adam" but I felt I had to jump in here with my thoughts.

I'm so sorry for your loss of a beloved family member, but I totally understand your choice to "go back". Family ties are so strong, and I too have chosen to 'not rock the boat' in favour of keeping what family I have still alive, still in my life. I have chosen this because, for my circumstances, I feel life is too short to "make a stand" and be totally alone without those I love dearly who are still too blinded by the WTS indoctrination as I was 10 years ago, but at the same time, I will not knock those who choose to make their choices known, loud and clear.

You have to do whatever makes your life happy and bearable at this time. To be totally left alone without family association closeby can be devastating for some of us while at the same time, it can be a preferable choice for others.

...making a personal decision that fits my needs. Riding the fence, one foot in and one foot out the door!!!! It will make me a hyprocrite!

I don't consider myself a hyprocrite and I don't consider you one either. If we choose family ties over exposing the WTS openly, then that is totally our choice of how to handle our personal situation. I feel that any exposure of the WTS that I can accomplish in a "cloak and dagger" fashion, then that is my contribution to the WTS's downfall. I know that any vocal exposure of the WTS that I would make now, would close the minds of those I am most dedicated to helping to escape, (ie:my family), so I continue to keep close to them hoping that something I may someday say will eventually plant a seed of doubt in their minds.

My own sanity demands that I stay close to my few remaining members of my immediate family, so I totally understand your need at this time. Just a word of caution though....some of the expressions of love you are receiving now from the congregation will be truly heartfelt and honest, while others will be of the "this is what the FDS says we should do to get a lost sheep to return to the fold" kind. So be conscious of what are true expressions of love and don't be fooled by the "sugar-coated" ones.

I hope you continue on here because I'm sure you already realize that this is where the real truth about the "troof" is.

Had Enough ...of the "had enough of the WTS but can't give up my family" class.

rwagoner

Wow....um, I'm really not sure what to say other than you need to do what is right for you.

I'm being shunned by my family so I know the feeling involved with separation. I know the frustration of not being able to get them to listen to both sides and THEN make their decision. I know the pain of having loving parents that choose a ~~publishing corporation~~ cult over their only child.

I'll miss you here on WJD. You brought humor, a little bit of flirtation and always a smile to my face with your posts.

Be well and don't let them get their claws on that free thinking brain of yours.....

TheEdge

This is a very emotional time for you - but do what your Heart tells you is right at this moment....and very best wishes

MonkeyPrincess

cindy,
i understand your decision to go back, family bonds are very strong and very
poweful. I have wanted to go back many times, simply because i feel so
lonley without them. But in the end, i just keep thinking of my son, do i really
want to raise him with the jw mentality? No, i sure dont. You do need to do
what is right for you, sweetie, and i hope that whatever decision you make, you
are truly happy.
I am sorry for your loss, when my grandpa died i was shunned and treated
very badly. The elder that was in my JC hearing told my family he didnt want
me sitting with them. I have not gone to another funeral since, even when my
gandma died. Your family is very loving, you are fortunate to have that. :)

MonkeyPrincess

RescueMe

Cindy,
I'm so new here that often I am hesitant to comment on things, but your post just broke my heart. Please understand this isn't meant to be a negative comment towards you in the least. What I mean is that it just breaks my heart to see that an organization, any organization, would encourage someone to do something they don't want to do or don't feel comfortable doing just to gain the fellowship of their family. It's blackmail plain and simple. How truly pathetic that this organization not only resorts to this type of behavior, but actively and freely encourages it.

I do understand the need and desire to be an active participant in the lives of family and friends, so I wish you the very best ,and hope your journey is a good one. We all must choose our own path in life, and do what we feel is best for us, and I support everyones right to do just that, whether I agree with their choices or not.

My best to you always,
RM

cindykp

Good morning!

What I mean is that it just breaks my heart to see that an organization, any organization, would encourage someone to do something they don't want to do or don't feel comfortable doing just to gain the fellowship of their family

They arent the ones doing this. In their eyes that would be wrong, and they wouldnt reinstate me If they didnt feel I was sincere about coming back. Its me.

But in the end, i just keep thinking of my son, do i really
want to raise him with the jw mentality? No, i sure dont.

My kids have never been raised in the truth, and they are getting older. So they wont go.

rwagoner, I will still come to the forum! And right back at ya!!

My only question would be, what happens when your family dissapoints you?

Well, I guess that can happen to anyone, for any reason. My family is very large. And I do have to say that I have been blessed with the fact it is an extremely loving family. And once again they showed that to me yesterday. Im really not to worried about being dissapointed.

Besides that, I have been so dissapointed lately, depressed, discusted, you name it. So I cant see it getting any worse. I know that alot of you have had bad experiences in some of your congregations. I have only had two. (my 2 df's) But the people in the congregation I never had problems with. And since I was out for so long, I really dont know them anymore.

And for those of you who commented about being shunned, it sucks! It hurts! And its just downright ugly!! I wish I could change a few rules there. When people are df'd or fall away, that is when they need encouragement the most. At least at the kingdom hall.

All I know is that after seeing my whole family yesterday, I just cant imagine living the rest of my life without them. And sadly to say I think there are alot of witnesses that ride the fence for this reason.

vicmace

Skinner,

I know what a challenge this is going to be for you, being as though I am your big sister. I only hope you can overcome the things that stand in your way and you don't lose your immediate family (Skippy & kids). I hope you get the love and affection you saw yesterday in the months to come and don't have to wait 3-1/2 years to get it as did our own brother. I wish you the best and will still call you 3 times a day....lol...Love ya,

Vic

Re: the funeral that I did not want to go to today!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Carmel

jeanniebeanz

prophecor

Had Enough

rwagoner

TheEdge

MonkeyPrincess

RescueMe

cindykp

vicmace

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