slimboyfat,
When you consider the views of Jehovah?s Witnesses, there is one authoritarian view - no other view is tolerated. You came here and found a plethora of views (sorry, a carry over from public talk days; but I find it happyfing). To be one of Jehovah?s Witnesses you have to believe everything - hook, line, and sinker. Do you believe everything? Are you satisfied with believing everything taught by Jehovah?s Witnesses without question? If so, go about with the meetings, service, and everything else and be content. However, if you are not satisfied, search for what fulfills you spiritually; that can only be done through careful personal study of the Bible.
You will not find your answer here. My guess is the same as others that you may be trolling. But, if not accept my apologies; but, once again you will not find what you appear to be asking for here. If you can?t find the answer to your questions within yourself, you need an authoritarian spiritual leader to make decisions for you and the Christian Congregation of Jehovah?s Witnesses is as good a group as any to take care of that position.
May peace be with you.