Dear all,
Thank you so much for your welcome; it was really touching. I have a lot to say so I hope you will all put up with me moanin and complainin cos I think I still have a lot to get out of my system. For those reading who are still JW's my issues are not to do with the 'great crowd' who after all cannot be blamed for their actions since they are still under the influence so to speak, and have been seriously mislead over the last 30 years or so. My issues are with the oversight. The fact that JW's are restricted from even viewing this site is bad enough, but to generally influence the congregation not to seek truth other than from the organization is very dangerous. Additionally, if we claim to be 'christians' and believe in the bible then we should not accept and follow teachings in any christian religion that are man made, our understandings should be gained directly from scripture; to do otherwise is to follow a sect which is condemned in the bible. Futhermore, in the time of the end the scriptures say that all your sons and daughters will have visions and will prophecy; the wonder of the scriptures and the knowledge and revelations that come from it are open to everyone not just the FDS, or the JW's as a whole. (who apparently have not had any new insights for many many years). Therefore, anyone can discover a new idea or unravel a prophecy, but if you did this in the JW's you were told that you were being 'presumptous'. I was regualrly pre-empting material in the Watchtower a year ahead through my own personal study; people thought I'd lost it that I was going too far because they could not understand my answers at meetings. What was really strange was that elders at time came to me for spiritual advice, which supposedly they should not have done. To be frank it all sent me a bit potty because I knew I was doing the right thing in independantly studying the bible with whatever references I could use, but this clashed with other members; it was like they did not want me to stand on my own two feet!
Of course, generally there are heaps of information and advice in the world which could be wise to follow and there is nothing wrong with that. For example, I had a nervous breakdown in 1997, but was warned about seeking therapy outside the organization. There were JW therapists but they practiced privately and I could not afford. So, I just suffered, and by the time I left and could access therapy, I was too ill to make the hour journey to the hospital. Anyway, last year I borrowed a book called 'Simple Abundance: A Daybook of Comfort and Joy' by Sarah Ban Breathnach, a self help book for women who feel that they have lost their authentic indentity of themselves (I really did not know who I was any more when I left). You are supposed to start it in January; it's a bit like the daily text in this respect. I however read it in about six weeks and wrote a whole A4 pad of my feelings about it. It quickly lifted me out of depression, made me like myself again, and most importantly for the 1st time in my life I was appreciating just actually 'being'; relishing every aspect of life as it was meant to be appreciated (the JW teachings did not do this for me; I just felt like I was a sinner and had a black cloud following me around, and since you are told to constantly look to the new system for happiness you forget that although the world is in turmoil you can still enjoy life now, which the scriptures tell you to do). It also started me thinking about spiritual things once more. Although 1 or 2 of the things in it I did not agree with like viewing yourself as a 'goddess', generally it deals with your home/work life, your attitude towards problems, your relationships (especially the relationship with yourself; how can you love God or in fact anyone when you don't love yourself ), and much much more using quotes from famous people, stories, and anecdotes. I was quite capable on my own of deciding which information in the book could possibly be spurious. Now, if I had been a JW I would not have touched it with a barge pole, but if I had had this book in '97 then I would have been cured in a couple of months.
No true religion should restrict and control your access to knowledge on a 'need to know basis, or be afraid of any challenges that are thrown at it; in my book if that is the case then the religion has something to hide because to find out the 'truth' about a matter there needs to be openess and honesty. The JW organization started to falter for me during the early 90's, which some bible researchers believe according to prophecy, was the beginning of God withdrawing his spirit from the FDS, who were under warning that this would occur over a 10 year period if the FDS did not change their ways. Now I'm not saying that this is necessarily true; I am just beginning my further search for 'truth' again, but it sure explains a lot of what has happend during this period if this is the case. As I make my journey I will share what I have discovered, and hopefully by me being open and honest then you can all 'shoot me down in flames' if necessary, or we can all just have a jolly good discussion about a matter, and hopefully get to the bottom of it all and gain a new insight and understanding about 'truth'.
Anyway, thanks again; busy over next few days so don't know when I'll be here again. Been in bed with a migraine all day so now got to do loads over the weekend cos getting close to final assessments at Uni. Take care everybody! Clarex