Hello all.....
I have been lurking here for a few days but decided I need to jump in as I need some serious help!
I got into a relationship with a JW.
I worked with her for over a year, got hurt on the job and was recovering for about 5 months. During that time we started talking on the phone and we have become quite close, but only reciently did I learn she is JW.
She is 25, born and raised a JW (in Mexico) along with her brothers & sisters, her father being an elder (I believe) at her Kingdom Hall, she still lives at home. After browsing here a bit I found that she has ALLOT of the common JW traits discribed by you folks!
We talk allot at work, email, etc and have seen each other outside of work a few times, but nothing more. She seems very serious about wanting to be with me but wants me to join in order to please her parents/familly (though she will not admit thats the reason). This really snuck up on me as we had been friends for quite sometime, and grew VERY close while I was out of work. Once I came back we REALLY began to get even more close!!!
I believe in God and have strong faith, but do not belong to a church/religion. She does realize that I am quite critical of WTS from what I have learned, often asking where I get my information and wanting to see/read it for herself. Both myself and others that know her feel that SHE IS QUESTIONING WHAT SHE HAS BEEN TAUGHT! She has even had talks with a few close friends about her doubting her parents, and asked what they thought about that.
But her brainwashing and especially her loyalty to her familly is a constant problem. She is on the verge of telling her familly about me but does not know what to say, her sister who knows about me has told them that I am possably interested in joining (Im not). So they do know about me.
Anyway I need help!
Ask me any specific questions that might give you more information that you can use to help me with this. I will be asking more questions later I just wanted to break the ice for now.
My first post---Boy do I need help!!!!!!!!
by PAJA 27 Replies latest jw friends
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PAJA
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seesthesky
tell the truth
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Double Edge
Welcome. I've never been a JW, so my input is rather moot.... however, there are many people here that can give you some good advice. It's a slow time right now, so check back over the next day or so for some responses. btw, there have been others who have posted here with a similiar situation that you mentioned..... maybe someone can give you a link....
take care...
D.E.
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PAJA
OH BTW!
Im not on some sort of mission to convert her to anything!
After I reciently learned of her WTS ties, I told her that I have been wanting to "find" a religion myself as I have faith, but no "direction". I actually considered the WTS untill I did a bit of reading and found that they were a bit........."off".
I guess my mission at minimum is to help her see the WTS for what they really are, but to NOT loose her faith in God!
HOW THE HECK DO I DO THAT!!!! -
jgnat
I think the watershed for every JW/non-JW relationship is finding out if they treat you any differently around their JW family and friends. You will find out real quick if you are a sideline from her JW life, or if she has the guts to let everyone know how important you are to her.
So, ask to meet the family. Outside the Kingdom Hall. Also offer to go to the Memorial with her, if you like. Pay a lot of attention on how people treat you. If they smell "fresh meat" they may be really friendly. See if that changes if you tell them you will never be baptized.
It is better you know now before your heart becomes fully engaged.
Here's the link, Best of....I'm in love with a JW:
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jgnat
Here's the link, "Best of...I'm in love with a JW"
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fairchild
Welcome to JWD, PAJA.
This is tough.. I'm thinking you might want to approach this carefully. Print out a few important things from this site, like a thought on 'this generation', or a thread on 607 BCE, or a story about how someone sold his or her belongings in 1975, because the WBTS suggested that the end would come in 1975. Don't overwhelm her with anti-WBTS information, it would only confuse her. Be honest, especially if you want to pursue a relationship with her, make sure it is based on honesty. Tell her that you have looked into the JW religion, and that you have serious concerns, etc.. etc..
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JohnnyMarr
I guess my mission at minimum is to help her see the WTS for what they really are, but to NOT loose her faith in God! Don't worry about letting her see what the WTS really are. Deep down inside most Witnesses know that the Society is full of crap .... they are just in denial. Let her see what you are. Let her see that you are a God fearing, well rounded, Christlike person who has managed to get that far without going to 5 meetings a week.
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bikerchic
Welcome to JWD PAJA!
I actually considered the WTS untill I did a bit of reading and found that they were a bit........."off".
Try they are a cult! Keep your mind intact and your emotions out of the scenario that will serve you the best. She may never leave the cult......and if I was you I would present to her all the evidence about the Witness you can obtain to her and if she doesn't leave them I wouldn't keep trying to develop the relationship further. You'll go crazy trying to have a relationship with her because the religion will always be in the way.
You've got your work cut out for you and life is too short to spend it with someone who is married to a cult.
Kate
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mtbatoon
Hi PAJA, welcome to you. Proceed in you relationship with caution. I?m not trying to say your relationship with this lady if in anyway false, but if she?s having to sneak around her parents telling them you might be interested to justify a relationship with you, it seems to my she?s using the old Jdubler justification fibbing that we all know so well. She obviously has genuine feelings for you as you do for her but her conditioning has skewed her reasoning. It?s a trait most of us showed in the org, it?s caused by the pressure of wanting to follow our emotions against the strict conformity imposed by the cult. Any ties mentally with the cult and you run the risk of her returning. I?ve seen it many times and in my own family where a member will find a mate outside the religion, drift away become disassociated or disfellowshiped, only to return once the relationship has settled down. Usually with the advent of children. I think you have to ask yourself would she continue to doubt her beliefs if your influence was removed?
On the other hand if you can help her escape from a mind controlling cult don?t hesitate. It does though takes a lot of time and patience.