I just came from visting my aunt, an ex-witness for about 20 years now. I went to see her on a whim. I'd been trying to reach her for years. She's responsible for bringing the truth to me over 30 years ago. When we talked it was only obvious that nothing had changed since the last time I'd seen her, over 15 years ago. Her guilt and shame continues to hold her hostage. I thought I might be able to share with her the hope and help I've been able to recieve here, that does not appear however to be the case, she is so far gone that it seems that nothing will ever be able to help her. She described how she never stopped reading her literature, how some of the elders see to it that she stays supplied with the latest information, how they talk to her and try to encourage her. I basically stood in amazement as she rattled off about how I need to get back to the Hall, how the friends who opened up to her are only shunning her as a means of her being disciplined and do not let that discourage me if that happens as it only God's way of showing we need an adjustment in our attitude. The guilt, the shame, the fear and self debasement that can hold one hostage for nearly a generation is pervasive, destructive and undeniably sad. I didn't dare tell her about my being a member of a deemed apostate website and all the help I've received from being here. Though she is no longer in good standing within the borg, I know I would never be welcome if she knew I was not only out of the truth, but apostate as well.
Visted my aunt who introduced me to Jehovah.........
by prophecor 18 Replies latest jw friends
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TheEdge
not only out of the truth, but apostate as well.
I thought they amounted to the same thing?
I really feel for her - left 20 years and yet still 'fearful'. Why is she caught in this 'limbo'?
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ezekiel3
Her guilt and shame continues to hold her hostage.
This sounds exactly like long-term alcoholics who write themselves off to their addition. So sad.
The construct in her mind is so strong that she would rather believe in a Paradise without her in it, than not believe in Paradise.
I know so many inactive JWs like this who fully believe the "truth," but can't handle the cognitive dissonance.
The fairy tale has to be true whether or not they will live to see it.
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prophecor
left 20 years and yet still 'fearful'. Why is she caught in this 'limbo'?
She has several family members on the inside, she doesn't even know there's a world outside of OZ, she left of her own accord DA'd and feels she did Jehovah the dis-service. -
Pwned
I know how you feel, I have a sister who has been out for a few years and i just recently told her about this board because of fear of how she would react, but i had to take the chance because i'm worried about her mental state and i figured this site might help her with her guilt and self-loathing.
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TheEdge
she left of her own accord DA'd
Now THAT is the oddity. She didn't feel strongly enough to stay for the family members on the inside (and many do), so she must have some gumption about her! - She must have had a reason. Either SHE couldn't compromise HER beliefs OR she felt she couldn't attain the 'perfection' that God requires.
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vitty
Even though some ppl are out of the org for years. there is a superstition, that if you speak against the org you are sinning against the spirit , which is unforgivable.
They dont want to go back in, but feel it is still the truth and that they must encourage you!!
I had experience of this myself.
They are always waiting for armaggeddon and their execution. Very sad.
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El blanko
They dont want to go back in, but feel it is still the truth and that they must encourage you!!
I had experience of this myself.
They are always waiting for armaggeddon and their execution. Very sad.
I know a couple of people like that and possibly used to feel that way myself for a few years.
The one guy is militant, when supporting the society, even though the society have dumped him on the outside and pretty much cut him off from everything he has trusted in for over 30 years. I get annoyed with him at times for supporting an institution that shows so little care, but then step back and realize that he is simply weak and damaged.
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garybuss
That agrees with my experience with believing walkaways and believing castaways. They are often far more volatile that a practicing Witness because of the dissonance produced by the conflict that results from a wide disagreement between beliefs and personal behaviors. I have found many believing walkaways and believing castaways to be extremely fragile. They have an almost psychotic approach to reality and life. They are in many ways, like the paranoid schizophrenic who fights to protect the delusion that is their reality.
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El blanko
They have an almost psychotic approach to reality and life. They are in many ways, like the paranoid schizophrenic who fights to protect the delusion that is their reality.
Absolutely.