As a kid I remember reading a Peanuts cartoon where Woodstock is telling Snoopy a dream he had, and Snoopy rolls his eyes and said, "I hate it when people tell me their dreams." So with that in mind ...
http://josh-joplin-group.lyrics-songs.com/lyrics/20265/
This is what I dreamed:
It was a very bright and sunny day as I pulled up into our driveway and got out. It was then I noticed that, even though the sun was shining very brightly, there were no shadows anywhere. I could see everything clearly. I held out my arm, and it cast no shadow.
I looked in our garage and noticed an old man sitting in Nina's car. As I walked up, I saw it was her father, Bill who had killed himself 2 years ago. He got out of the car, and without turning around or acknowledging me went into our house. I followed him and found him standing in our kitchen. He was facing Nina who was doing the dishes. On the counter next to her was a small radio. It was playing "Camera One" by the Josh Joplin Group. It was playing over and over.
Nina did not notice Bill or I and kept washing the same dish over and over. I came around Bill and noticed he was wearing the same sweater, shirt and pants he wore the last time I saw him alive. Over his eyes was a webbing covering them so that I could not see his eyes. The kitchen, the whole house really, was also very bright with sunlight and again there were no shadows anywhere.
Hung his clothes on the shower rod
But he never go undressed and he never made a mess
"Bill", I said "I'm so glad to see you."
I hesitated. There was a question I've wanted an answer to for some time but I was embarassed. I hemmed and hawed until I blurted out "You're up there now and I'd really like to know. What does God think of me?"
He looked at me and smiled broadly. He shrugged his shoulders and in a jolly voice he said, "Don't know. I haven't met him yet. Been too busy."
On the corner by the street
He sits in his armchair in the heat
Sightseers see what they want
He?s selling star maps to the Sun
"Doing what?"
Suddenly his appearance changed and he now wore a suit he bought when we were shopping together once in Toronto. He talked excitedly and with great animation.
"They're a great group. Just wonderful people. You should meet them, you'd get along very well. I'm the Secretary."
The trophy wife of Palisades
Whose yearbook beauty never fades
(He then told me what all he had done and where he traveled, but I don't remember it now.)
I swallowed hard and my hands shook. "Bill, is it true? I mean what happened to me as a child."
Again his clothing changed, and he now wore his favorite cap, and an old shirt and pants, which is how he dressed when he worked repairing instruments. He cocked his head to one side and looked at me with more tenderness, compassion and kindness than I thought possible. The webbing fell from his eyes and I saw his eyes were black, like opals.
Camera one closes in
As he looked at me I felt as if he saw everything I had ever done. I don't like the idea of anyone seeing anything I don't want them to see. I've spent my life building walls to protect myself.
He noticed my discomfort and reached out to squeeze my shoulder. Then he softly said, "You should write a book. You should call it "I Was Wronged for all the Right Reasons".
It?s funny how life works out
The odds of faith in the face of doubt
Then he said, "Doubt, anger ... quit doing that to yourself."
I also knew there was something else but I was not ready yet. Then he answered one more question.
Then my children came downstairs. My daughter was holding a boombox as big as her and it was playing some bubble-gum song so loud it drowned out the little radio. She put it up on the counter and they both very excitedly began telling Nina and I about a dream they just had. I turned back to Bill. He just smiled, reached and tapped my shoulder three times. He said, "We'll finish another time."
As I woke up I heard a small boy with short blonde hair and very blue eyes say, "What an odd sort of dream."
Dreams are a strange thing. During REM sleep, neurons in the brain fire electric signals throughout the brain creating the images we see in our dreams. But no one knows how or why those particular images are chosen.
This is just a dream, and I already feel silly posting it. But I will be curious if in the next few months or years if he returns.
Chris