A very disarming question you can ask jw's as an "unbelieving mate"

Check_Your_Premises

My wife got dunked, so I am an "unbelieving mate" (UBM). However that name does offend me.

I do believe in God, and I am deeply grateful for Christ's sacrifice. I have deeply fear letting Him down. Furthermore, I believe that Satan is the personality behind all the woes we experience. I have experienced enough pain so that I have no desire to please him. I pray daily for God to make me a lover of truth, and if my heart is keeping me from truth, I ask him to change my heart. If I don't join it is not because I don't love God, or want to be apart of this world. I haven't joined because "right now", I have questions and disagreements with what is being taught.

I tell jw's the above. Then I ask them, "So if I don't join, are you going to think it is because I am a bad or prideful person?"

They can't say, "yes", because it is a stupid thing to say, and they also are afraid to offend you. I keep asking my wife this all the time. I ask people in the congregation this. I keep asking it.

The reason why it is effective is because by constantly assuring me they don't think I am "bad" or "prideful" makes it difficult for them to in fact think that about me.

It is a minor piece of advice, but I think it will help guard us UBM from a common and destructive thought pattern found among the jws in our lives

jgnat

Maaaaan, you've got the lingo down! Great idea!

Personally, I don't give S**** any air time. I've experienced enough genuine evil, I don't need to give it any free advertising space. I don't think I could choke THAT part out, but the "Do you think I am prideful?" is excellent.

iiz2cool

They will always answer you in a tactful? way, but they will lie to you about what they really think of you. My father was an unbelieving mate? and the JWs were always pleasant to his face, but behind his back they spoke abusively of him. One day at the hall an elder made the mistake of calling my father a pig, not realizing I overheard him. I immediately confronted him in front of the people he was speaking to, asked him why he didn't have the balls to say this to my fathers face rather than opening his yap to a bunch of women. I also told him if it happened again I'd be hauling his ass out to the parking lot for a good beating.

I was never counselled for that, but my father was never invited to congregation get-togethers? after that. My mother had to go to them alone.

They'll be polite as long as they view you as a potential convert. Once they realize you'll never convert you'll be lucky if they give you the time of day.

Walter

Check_Your_Premises

I know they won't say I am a "pig" to my face. I also know they will think poorly of me. They have the truth. If someone doesn't agree with it, they must be choosing, out of bad motivation, to avoid it! They must be bad or prideful.

But by constantly making them say that, it makes it harder for them to engage in the thought, and even harder for them to act on that attitude.

It's that cognitive dissonance thing. It is hard to not have your thoughts and actions match up. Saying, "No I don't think you are prideful" is an action (with witnesses) that then makes it harder to have the thought that disagrees with that action.

Again, it is a minor point, and only one of a thousand that must be applied. But it does help gaurd us against a very common attitude.

TheListener

That's a good question. Too bad it doesn't work for a mate that's become inactive. I think the dubs might actually yes if asked.

Doubtfully Yours

I could see and sense it already. If you love your wife, it's just a matter of time. Resistance is futile, you will be absorbed.

Be on guard.

DY

lonelysheep

You're good. It must mess with their minds. I know it would've got me to think!

Check_Your_Premises

I could see and sense it already. If you love your wife, it's just a matter of time. Resistance is futile, you will be absorbed.

You think I will join?! Naah. I have been indoctrinated before. I have heard to many lies. My default for everyone is BS. If what anyone say is corroborated by objective facts I will believe it... maybe!

As I have said before, if someone shows me a burning bush, if somone walks on some water, or if somebody makes some wine.... then maybe I would consider knocking on some doors.

Check_Your_Premises

So JGnat,

What is your classification... are you just an ubm, or are you the dreaded, feared, and often whispered about...

(dun-dun-duuuuuuuuuh)

Opposer!!!!

(cue scary music)

I figured you would like the question though, because you are also a person of faith.

M.J.

I dunno, for the most part the locals leave me alone, are generally polite and don't ask me any personal questions at all. Perhaps they have a feeling of what I went through when my wife refused a blood transfusion. I don't know. My wife does think that I'm prideful though for finding every reason in the world to not submit to the program (who cares if they're valid, right?). Good point though, I'll press her on the subject of whether or not she can fault me for my choices.

A very disarming question you can ask jw's as an "unbelieving mate"

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