Im a Catholic in love with a JW

by mistypink 17 Replies latest social relationships

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  mistypink

  In a sense it's heartening to see so many other people in the same boat as I am.

  I have many questions though after reading the other threads on this site.

  My boyfriend's former girlfriends were Catholics like me as well. His dad is an elder and he hasn't been baptized yet. We have had sex. According to him I was his first. in the same way that he was mine. Being raised Catholic I was taught that virginity was something you gave to your husband. Apparently, I failed in that (in a way). We're both in our late 20's so I guess that means we should be able to handle this better but somehow, it doesn't help.

  It hurts that he hasn't introduced me to his family although they know about us (except the sex part of course). I've talked to his mom. And we've had this on again-off again relationship. It's like he keeps swinging between me and this girl he used to date before me. Frankly, its hard.

  I was wondering why is it essential-- I mean, the whole have you had sexual relations and whether he/she is baptized.

  I hope someone can help figure out what to do.

  I truly love this guy.
• 

  breeze

  Marraige with both partners beliefs the same is hard enough?

  If he remains a witness and marrys you, he will insist that you convert. So study the religon very closely before deciding to take on a relationship that in many ways will be doomed from the begining.

  BREEZE
• 

  talesin

  It's like he keeps swinging between me and this girl he used to date before me.

  Red Alert
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  Golf

  My wife was not a witness when I married her. We knew each since since childhood. If she were to give you advice, she would say, if your willing to take all the crap and headaches that go with such a relationship, go, if not, stay with the sex. Sex is great but its not everything such as happiness.
  
  Golf
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  mistypink

  thanka for the advice guys...

  I think I will check out what the others have to say as well before finally deciding what to do with this guy.

  Sigh... I just wish I didn't love him this passionately. It would be easier to walk away if I felt less for him.
• 

  kls

  As i am married to a man that is a JW and if i only knew what heartache it was going to cause ,there is no way i would have done it. Even though we were both recruited in this cult ,both baptised but i soon saw this cult for what it is and stopped going while my husband stayed strong and had a hate for me for turning against his prescious GOD.

  If you want to join just for this guy ,you better be ready for what your life may become. You have to know that this whole thing is wrong or you would not be here asking. Check for yourself what the JWS are really all about.
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  love11

  According to him I was his first. in the same way that he was mine.

  It's like he keeps swinging between me and this girl he used to date before me.

  If your the only one giving him sex, than why would any sane man go to the girl that's not giving him sex. Especially the girl he lost his "virginity" too. Something smells fishy. If he's this much of a swinger now, what about when you have been married for years with kids and you weigh more and he loses his hair and it makes you nauseous to have sex when you are 8 months pregnant. I tend to think he still needs those oats to be sown.

  I was wondering why is it essential-- I mean, the whole have you had sexual relations and whether he/she is baptized.

  In the real world- no one will really care if your both humping like rabbits. In the jw world, you will lose everyone you've ever known since you were an infant. In the catholic world- go to confession and say your hail mary's, but at least you can still hug your mom.

  Ultimately, you have to decide what kind of relationship you want. And what kind of life you want for yourself and your future children. No infant baptism, no holidays, no family reunions.

  Love- that is another question, you may love this guy for a long time to come. But just because you love someone doesn't mean that you will love your life with them.
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  Generic Man

  Hi Mistypink,

  I agree with what other have said on this thread. It doesn't sound like this guy is going to committ to you. The man is still in his late 20's and is still strongly influenced by his parents. It sounds like the religion still has a grasp on him. Be careful, make sure he feels the same way about you and talk to him. I think you should ask for a strait answer. Does he want to be with you or does he want to be with his family, settle with this other girl, and conform to the organization. From what I've read so far, he's not going to stay with you. Thats not to say that you're relationship is hopeless. I don't know this guy, but I know that rejecting the religion of his family seems to be extremely hard for him.
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  mistypink

  Love11, You know what? You just gave voice to something I have been thinking about. Esp. since he has been with this other girl for 10 years now. I cannot, for the life of me believe that he hasn't had sex with her esp. since they have been to the beach alone together.

  The first time we did it though, it did seem like he didn't know what he was doing half the time. Although I can't really say since that was *my* first.

  I love the way you said: "just because you love someone doesn't mean that you will love your life with them. " It sounds really wise.

  Thanks for your advice. Hoping to hear from others too.
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  Kenneson

  Oh my! Run! And don't look back.

  Contact Jeff at the following site. http://www.catholicxjw.com/doctrines.html You need all the help you can get to discontinue this relationship. Very few relationships of this type end up well. So do you really want to find out if you're the exception?