The first time we did it though, it did seem like he didn't know what he was doing half the time. Although I can't really say since that was *my* first.
Sheesh, you women are all alike.
btw, wanna go to the beach?
Im a Catholic in love with a JW
by mistypink 17 Replies latest social relationships
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SixofNine
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mistypink
We women are all alike? What exactly do you mean?
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love11
The first time we did it though, it did seem like he didn't know what he was doing half the time.
If it doesn't work out, take heart in knowing that he was experienced when you thought this! hahaha lol
sixofnine- I'm not really sure what you meant either. Have you heard this alot from women? ...Just kidding!
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AuntieJane
Honey, I'm a Catholic and have daughters your age. One dated a JW in her late teens and that's when I learned all about their teachings. First of all, JW or not, he is/has been cheating on you and taking you for an ignorant person. Is that the ride you want out of life? Stand on your two feet, get some self esteem and move on without him in your life. Get some professional help if you need it for awhile.\
It is not going to be easy, but you will be the better person for it and he will be standing in the background still struggling because that is what HE chooses.
You go on Girl and Choose to make yourself a Strong Woman, ok?
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belu
Is he an active JW? Does he bring up quotes from the bible? IF so, he has already sinned. I can tell you these are the worst kind. He will pretend he is very religious to all around him, but he will cheat on you in the future (he has already). I believe he is just using you.
I, baptized a catholic, married a JW. Before and durring the marriage I always supported her in her religion, but I never joined. Before we married she had lied and decieved me many times, and, being blinded by love I forgave her. Like you I was very much in love with her. I must admit that it was the worst thing I ever done, marry her.
It was not the religion because I am very open minded and do accept that everyone has their own beliefs, it was her continuous lies. Because of her lies before our marriage, I never trusted her durring the marriage and this is what saved me, yes because I was able to see all the lies she would make durring the marriage. I live in Canada and she lives in the Philippines, so I was lucky to see right through her before I brought her to Canada. You can read my story at www.openletter.bhmo.ca.
If I were you I would walk away from this man. I do know what it feels like to be really in love with someone. You may forgive him today, but you will make your life miserable if you marry him.
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JustTickledPink
If he's in his late 20's then he is a GROWN UP MAN and he needs to start making some DECISION on his own.
He is not a child, don't treat him like one. He needs to either be honest about who he is and tell you straight what he wants in life or quit stringing you along. He either wants to be a JW or not. He either wants to be with your or not. He either is over the ex-girlfriend or not. These aren't grey areas, it's actually pretty black and white. He might be using the JW thing as an excuse to get away from commitment.
You sound like a great girl, and you deserve to be happy. Don't let this guy take advantage of you or play you.
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mistypink
Thanks for your advice everyone!
I really appreciate the concern I have felt from this site. It's touching how people who don't even know me personally can take such a genuine interest in my problem.
I am truly thinking a lot about what you guys have said. And they weigh heavy on my mind.
Keep it coming guys!
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beebee
You said in your post:
And we've had this on again-off again relationship. It's like he keeps swinging between me and this girl he used to date before me.
Dub quirks and problems aside, that alone is a HUGE red flag. I know, I've had more of those then I care to admit to. It is a sign of an inability to commit, whatever the reasons (and you can't say he does this because of religion, because the other girl is not a dub either). In fact, there's a whole "syndrome" called commitment phobia and lots of books on why people who often really want to be in a happy relationship do this. Before I read the books, I called it "push me, pull me." Often this kind of person cannot ever commit, but if they do, it is usually to someone that either let them go (when they wanted out) or who pushes them away.
It hurts, it keeps hurting, and it doesn't stop unless one of you changes. Remember that old axiom "The definition of Insanity is repeating the same behavior and expecting different results."
In a nutshell, this guy has issues that are very tough to impossible to overcome. I know how emotionally connected many women get to the first guy they "lose it" to, just remember that you deserve someone who treats you the way you should be treated, and who loves you dearly. Real love isn't one way.
A guy named "Steven Carter" wrote several books on Commitmentphobia if you have an interest in learning more, check 'em out at the bookstore.
Best of luck.