Truthseeker made a good thread explaining just how much time we actually do spend in the "cult". Most of us couldn't do EVERYTHING that was expected. Were you one of the guilty ones???
Did You Feel Guilty Because You Couldn't "Do More"?
by minimus 27 Replies latest jw friends
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whyamihere
Couldn't do more...wasn't good enough...ect!
You were made to feel guilty over everything.
Brooke
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Soledad
all the effin time!
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minimus
The elders would, every April, try to get everyone in the congregation to auxillary pioneer. The only ones that didn't do it were a couple of elders (like me).
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Effervescent
I did EVERYTHING that was expected of me. I auxillary pioneered during the summer when in high school, went out in service every weekend, gave talks, assembly experiences and was in a convention drama and had my Watchtower underlined every Sunday. I was the model elders daughter. I STILL felt guilty cause in my mind I HATED every minute of it. I was convinced there was something wrong with me and I was just a BAD person.
Point is.... I don't think you could EVER do enough and not have guilt.
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bikerchic
I did feel guilty for many years but once I became aware of the concept of being a human being (responsible for myself) over being a human doing (what the WTS said I should be responsible for) I cut myself some slack.
I had a lot on my plate and a person can only do so much.......I began to set priorities and the most important priority for me was being a Mom, wife then a publisher. It worked for me this way, I was a better Mom when I prayed and asked for guidance, I was a better wife when I prayed and asked for guidance, I was a better publisher when I prayed and asked for guidance. I was a better human being when I did what I could do with the guidance I got from the answers to my prayers.
So was it God who guided me or was it myself?
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trevor
Quite the opposite. I left home at 17 because I couldn't stand my JW parents. I ended up in an affluent congrecation but I was a penniless Pioneer. I resented all the elders working full time, some of them were loaded, while I slogged on as the only Pioneer in the Congregation. On summer bank holidays they would all join up and go off for a day out. I was invited to join them but couldn't as I had to 'get my time in.' It was their lack of guilt and lack of support that caused me to resign from Pioneering in protest.
Thank you - I feel better having unloaded on you (no I didn't mean it that way - honestly your minds!). I now going out for the evening for a few drinks and a curry, as it is almost 6pm in the UK.
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minimus
I've seen pioneers resent the elders, too. Could never figure that one out. I wasn't pioneering.
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Wolfgirl
I went back and forth. Sometimes I felt guilty because I wasn't feeling any blessings, so I assumed it was because I wasn't doing enough. And other times, like when I tried to aux. pioneer permanently, I didn't feel guilty about not doing more because I realised I didn't enjoy it.
I did feel guilty about not enjoying pioneering, you know, not having "the pioneer spirit." The mind games...round and round...vicioius cycle. Anyway, I kept getting sick, so I blamed my non-pioneer status on that. -
minimus
What's worse is pioneering and never enjoying it----like my daughter did for years.