Did You Feel Guilty Because You Couldn't "Do More"?

by minimus 27 Replies latest jw friends

  • minimus
    minimus

    Truthseeker made a good thread explaining just how much time we actually do spend in the "cult". Most of us couldn't do EVERYTHING that was expected. Were you one of the guilty ones???

  • whyamihere
    whyamihere

    Couldn't do more...wasn't good enough...ect!

    You were made to feel guilty over everything.

    Brooke

  • Soledad
    Soledad

    all the effin time!

  • minimus
    minimus

    The elders would, every April, try to get everyone in the congregation to auxillary pioneer. The only ones that didn't do it were a couple of elders (like me).

  • Effervescent
    Effervescent

    I did EVERYTHING that was expected of me. I auxillary pioneered during the summer when in high school, went out in service every weekend, gave talks, assembly experiences and was in a convention drama and had my Watchtower underlined every Sunday. I was the model elders daughter. I STILL felt guilty cause in my mind I HATED every minute of it. I was convinced there was something wrong with me and I was just a BAD person.

    Point is.... I don't think you could EVER do enough and not have guilt.

  • bikerchic
    bikerchic

    I did feel guilty for many years but once I became aware of the concept of being a human being (responsible for myself) over being a human doing (what the WTS said I should be responsible for) I cut myself some slack.

    I had a lot on my plate and a person can only do so much.......I began to set priorities and the most important priority for me was being a Mom, wife then a publisher. It worked for me this way, I was a better Mom when I prayed and asked for guidance, I was a better wife when I prayed and asked for guidance, I was a better publisher when I prayed and asked for guidance. I was a better human being when I did what I could do with the guidance I got from the answers to my prayers.

    So was it God who guided me or was it myself?

  • trevor
    trevor

    Quite the opposite. I left home at 17 because I couldn't stand my JW parents. I ended up in an affluent congrecation but I was a penniless Pioneer. I resented all the elders working full time, some of them were loaded, while I slogged on as the only Pioneer in the Congregation. On summer bank holidays they would all join up and go off for a day out. I was invited to join them but couldn't as I had to 'get my time in.' It was their lack of guilt and lack of support that caused me to resign from Pioneering in protest.

    Thank you - I feel better having unloaded on you (no I didn't mean it that way - honestly your minds!). I now going out for the evening for a few drinks and a curry, as it is almost 6pm in the UK.

  • minimus
    minimus

    I've seen pioneers resent the elders, too. Could never figure that one out. I wasn't pioneering.

  • Wolfgirl
    Wolfgirl

    I went back and forth. Sometimes I felt guilty because I wasn't feeling any blessings, so I assumed it was because I wasn't doing enough. And other times, like when I tried to aux. pioneer permanently, I didn't feel guilty about not doing more because I realised I didn't enjoy it.

    I did feel guilty about not enjoying pioneering, you know, not having "the pioneer spirit." The mind games...round and round...vicioius cycle. Anyway, I kept getting sick, so I blamed my non-pioneer status on that.

  • minimus
    minimus

    What's worse is pioneering and never enjoying it----like my daughter did for years.

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