by whyamihere 38 Replies latest jw friends
Brooke,
Dont let yourself get too worked up. Im suppose to go tonight too. I feel kinda sick about it also. Its really hard, especially when family is involved. Just go, but I would make it known that you dont agree with some things. Especially if you dont want to be df'd. I would keep those feelings to yourself for right now.
You could do this before you go and then gargle with some strong mouthwash...
If any one talks to you tell them they have a big booger hanging out of their nose and they'll rush off to the bathroom and then you don't need to talk with them anymore.
Or you can do this...
Or this...
Or....
Or even this...
Seriously dearie...you'll do fine. People will probably concentrate on how adorable your kids are and you can just talk about them or stuff like that. No one needs to pry into your personal reasons for being there or not being at meetings. You'll survive Brookiepooh...because that's what you have been all your life...a survivor!
Big Hug...
Mumsy...
Hi Sweetie, if will make you feel better, we are going too..............like OB21 said when you have family in you have to make compromises in order to keep everyone happy So we go,we smile, and enjoy paying our respects to friends and family and most of all acknowleging what Jesus life meant to us.........I have always had great love for him and this makes me happy So try to dwell on the postives, they won't bother you to much because they are so busy checking out what everyone is wearing............hope I helped.
Up until this morning I wasn't going either but due to varying circumstances I will be there. Deciding to go today after not planning on going up until today does not mean that I have changed me mind about anything. I still know what I know.
Unlike some people who swear they'll never step into another hall again (I know that we all have different circumstances and that some have very good reason to not step foot back in) I don't have a problem with going to the hall on rare occasions. To me it's no different than going to the Baptist church. It doesn't mean I think the Baptists are right and going to the hall doesn't mean that I think the JWs are right.
Since I was raised a JW and most of my family is in and I know a lot of people who are JWs, a rare visit to the hall on a "special" occasion does not scare me or intimidate me. I no longer allow them to have power over me so just being in a building with them isn't going to bother me. I use the visit as an oppurtunity to visit people I haven't seen in ages. I wouldn't be surprised if we went out to eat afterwards with some of them.
I've also noted that elders don't really use someone's memorial attendance as the time to get into anything else. They usually say "glad to see you and hope all is well and well I gotta go check on the emblems, see ya" and that's about it.
It's only an hour! Just go. What the heck!
I think you're making way too much out of this silly 1-hour meeting.
DY
Brooke,
I'm in the same situation. Have not been to a meeting in two months now, and I hardly ever missed a meeting before that. I'm afraid that people are going to be asking questions like.. where have you been?
I still don't know what I'm going to say, but I'm leaning toward saying that I have been taking some personal time for study and such, which, in fact, is true!
Thanks Everyone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am going to go with my head held high and be ME!
Well so much for being nice....kidding!
I will just get this over with! I will tell you all how it went!
Brooke
Actually after I've decided that I'm going to the hall for whatever reason I kind of look forward to it. Macabre, yea I guess...but it's great to walk in with hair too long, beard, no jacket and khaki pants instead of suit pants. It's all about the shock value. The looks on some of their faces are priceless.
Then they wanna ask you how you've been and get this confused look on their face when you say happily and cheerily, "GREAT!! Thing's are so good right now, thanks for asking!" They're expecting you to deflect the question. They think we're miserable because they've always been told that people who leave Jehovah are miserable. They don't know what to expect when an inactive one acts happy and content.
Then a pompous, over righteous elder wants to discuss your well-being...he asks if you can talk, you say sure, no problem. He then tries to direct you to the back room and you say "why not here? this is as good a place as any" and says it needs to be in private. "No, I have nothing to hide. We can talk here or not at all" Count the seconds while he tries to regroup his thoughts. He was prepared to be the indignantly righteous one, with all the answers, against an intimidated weak person but now he's been stood up to. How does he handle it? He doesn't know because it's never happened before.
Then you get to talk to people you haven't seen in months. You know one of them loves movies and watches R-rated movies but keeps it on the down low. Go up and say, "hey Bob(not his real name) did you see Kill Bill yet? I know how you loved Pulp Fiction so I wondered if you would like Tarantino's new one as much as I did". Watch the stuttering and stammering as Bob tries to lie his way out by saying he's never seen Pulp Fiction.
Then you get to take a nap for an hour or so, laugh at the bad singers and then check out the young hotties during the prayer when they all have their eyes closed.
It's a good time...but only once in a blue moon.
Life is about making compromises for the our family and the people we love. They are what is truly important after all.
Brooke: This is how I feel. I am a little sad about having to go tonight as I fully planned on this being my last memorial ever, but my husband (never a JW, refusing to go tonight) says that he will have something special waiting for me when I get home ....so I will sit there and think about that. I'll post how it went.
Jez
I am going too. It gets easier with time, its really not a big deal. Just view it as anything else, a wedding, a funeral, or easter services at the church. Everyone does things to make their family happy, it doesn't mean you have to believe it. Good luck!!!
