Please help......I am going to the Memorial!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

by whyamihere 38 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  SixofNine

  One thursday I went to the meeting as usual, and by the time the next Sunday rolled around, I knew I would never consider myself a JW again. I never went back to the hall. I did however go to the memorial held at a school auditorium that year (can't remember why? Maybe to see everyone? Keep a facade? ...can't remember).

  Anyway, I approached that situation, and the numerous times I'd meet people in restaurants etc, by being magnanamous, big smile, etc. Anything but the whipped spiritually weak non-meeting attender they want to see. This throws them off gaurd. And to all the "so good to see you again's", I replied with "good to see you again too!". I think they meant it probably, and I know I did.

  I think the above approach tends to throw most witnesses off-gaurd, and they are less likely to give a "talk" about how much we need to be at the meetings and close to Jah's organization in these last days... but on the oth, the absolute best way to keep family is to play the "I'm just weak, bear with me, I know I'm not doing the right thing, but I just can't right now" card. Personally, I actually planned to do that in theory, but something about me just couldn't pull it off in practice. For one thing, it's a bit dishonest; not that there is anything wrong with being dishonest when you're at war with an evil empire.
• 

  Oroborus21

  Hi Brooke,

  Everything will be fine. You might actually have a good time. I haven't ever missed a Memorial in my 34 years and will attend tonight. I even told my wife, a Non-JW, that she could wear pants if she wants, but she may go to the gym instead.

  There are many many problems with the beliefs and practices and even some of the people of JWs, but there are also many good things. If someone has invited you to go and it will make them happy then consider the nice thing that you are doing for them.

  Life is about making compromises for the our family and the people we love. They are what is truly important after all.

  And relax, it is like the shortest meeting of the year, everyone looks fabulous (well "JW fabulous" at least) and usually there is a terrific dinner to look forward to. Tell your family that you will go but they have to take you to the best restaurant in town afterwards.

  -Eduardo
• 

  tijkmo

  brooke do all of the above suggestions...but imagine them all naked
• 

  Odrade

  You'll be okay, just remember to be gracious to the people who pry. Don't give them any information, but be very very friendly. Pretend like they are telemarketers. LOL! Think of attending this memorial as a learning experience. You are attending a lecture to gather information. See if you can pick out the ways you are expected to assume what they are saying is truth, rather than being provided with sound arguments. Read the context of the memorial scriptures....

  I think if you can separate from your anxiety, you might find this quite interesting. Plus, remind yourself that it will buy you some time for fading.

  You'll be okay.

  O
• 

  JamesThomas

  Dear Brooke,
  
  You are a victim of your own thoughts. It is worshipping at the alter of the story you are creating which is driving you nuts.
  
  Stop! Stop giving your valuable attention to the story and thoughts in your mind. Don't make them into an enemy, just be gentle and allow attention to return to this moment of existence. Be present and really feel what it is to be alive. Then, you can do whatever you want. You can even go to the memorial and enjoy the crowd and old friends. You can silently look into their eyes and recognize the very same vibrancy of life within in them (even if they don't see it), which you are embracing within you. This is true communion. HOWEVER, as soon as you allow mental interpretations about life and your worrisome story to control you, you're fcuked.
  
  Stop, torturing yourself. Be still. Feel what it is to breath. Feel the warmth of life. Give your attention to that, rather than the story....and see.
  
  
  j
• 

  Nancy Drake

  Brooke,

  I love you so much! Lots of people will probably try to make you feel guilty about not going to meetings, and if I know you, you are going to feel bad because you are a caring person who cares about other people's feelings.

  Tuesday's idea was good to sit toward the back and then leave before the prayer is over.

  Later, if someone asks why you left so fast, say that Jack pooped his pants and you had to hurry home before he ruined his suit.

  Also, if you have to puke, make sure you do it on Norb.

  No matter what happens, remember you have me and Cathy and Dustin, devinsmom, KLS, Bavman, Winston Smith, all the other Wisconsinites to help you through this...not to mention all of the other WONDERFUL people here on JWD to give you love and support. Something most of those bastards at the hall will never give you unconditionally like we will!

  I love you, Brooke!

  Your breast friend, Tracy
• 

  Golf

  Hey, its' not as though your going to do a sex act in front of everyone. Just don't eat the bread and drink NO wine!
  
  
  Golf
• 

  iiz2cool

  If they say, "Nice to see you". Say, Thanks. It's nice to see you, too"......

  I once overheard someone say "Nice to see you" to a sister?. Her reply was "It's nice to be seen." The elder seemed stunned, so I thought I'd use the same reply. It didn't take long for people to stop pestering me at meetings.

  Walter
• 

  xjw_b12

  ((( Brooke hun))) Just go. Don't put yourself through this unnesessary stress.

  You will be sitting there with eyes and ears wide open, and that might just be the final push you need.

  And remember tomorrow you don't have to get up early and go out in FS.
• 

  adelmaal

  Brooke:

  Simple answers such as:

  Hello

  Thank you

  No thank you

  will do you best in my opinion.

  For those who ask a probing and personal question you are not comfortable answering just say, "Why would you like to know?" That usuaually throws people off guard and makes them think about what they've just asked and why they had a right to ask it in the first place. If they probe further just say, "I am not comfortable answering your question."

  Just remember you do not need to feel obligated to speak with anyone about anything you are not comfortable with.

  "We are so glad you are here." What do I say?

  Say, "Thank you."

  Is there anything I can say? Like the reason I am not going is because of this:.....?

  Again, you are not obligated to explain your personal thoughts and opinions to anyone... You need not explain. If you are presented with uncomfortable questions all you have to do is say, "Thank you for your concern but I would rather not discuss that with you."

  Hang in there and you can do it!