by troubled 41 Replies latest jw friends
I'm wondering how many here are "active JWs," "inactive JWs," "X-JWs," or "never JWs."
I don't mean to be nosy. I'm just wondering how many are in a situation like mine (still in, but struggling).
Also, if you are an "X-JW," how long have you been out? How long did you have serious "struggles/doubts" before leaving, and do you feel happier now, less happy, or about the same level of happiness since leaving?
If you don't mind telling me, I'd really like to know.
troubled, i am a "never jw"!
peace and love, mango
life is but a dream...
simon: heres a good poll question, eh?
mox
Troubled,
It's been over a year since I've made my break -- technically I'm only inactive, but I make no claim to being part of the "brotherhood."
I struggled with many issues for years, but the one that had bothered me since childhood was the teaching that all non-Witnesses will be killed by a God who is supposed to be the very personification of love. When I was a teenager I discussed this with an elder who, although friendly and intelligent, could do no more than say, "It's up to Jehovah; we don't know." Thing is, the Organization fails to adopt this attitude.
There were several things that finally got me out. First, I graduated from college, but not before taking a "Science, Religion, and Philosophy" course that challenged every assumption on which my faith was based.
Second, my mother was disfellowshipped, despite no evidence of wrongdoing, no eyewitness testimony, no confession. Afterwards, well-intentioned Witnesses began "comforting" me with remarks like, "Your mother would be better off dead than outside of the Organization." It got to the point where every single talk seemed to deliver my mother's death certificate, and since this issue has always gnawed at me, I couldn't stomach it.
Third, I found out that the Organization filed a legal position with Jimmy Swaggart, and that all but devestated me -- it seemed, for some reason, a betrayal. It was as if I'd found the Governing Body in bed with the Great Harlot ...
From there I did more research, met others with doubts, all of which helped substantiate my decision to leave and to be articulate about it when confronted by disapproving family members. Though the disapproval continues, I've gotten past it, and feel better about myself. More importantly, life seems more open, more joyous, and the perpetual reconciliation I had to make between myself and JW doctrine is finally settled.
Good luck on your journey, and keep posting.
Dedalus
I've not been da'd or df'd so, technically I'm still 'in' although I no longer attend meetings except on rare ocassions just to keep in touch with the people that I was in such close association for a long time. The decision to pull away was not nearly as difficult as the task of admitting to myself that there were serious problems with the faith that claims to be the very representative of God on earth.
There was a great deal of internal conflict. There came a time, however, when I could no longer push the truth aside and then came great sadness and a feeling of great loss. Slowly the realization came to me that I had based my faith on having 'knowledge' of God and his purpose. The 'knowledge' that I had was, of course, no real knowledge at all but was, instead, a rather complicated belief system designed by men. I know now that God is not about knowing him for no one can every truly know God.
As a Witness, there were many questions that disturbed me greatly and made me feel uncomfortable. Now these questions deepen my appreciation for the infinite wisdom of the creator of this extremely sophisticated world with seemingly unending paradoxes all around us. I have learned to live with unanswered questions. I have learned to question God's works without doubting either his existence or his motives.
Born in 1940, raised in it. Developed doubts at age 18 after reading early Russell, Rutherford books, took 5 years to leave. Went through stages 1. true believer, 2. believer with doubts, 3. didn't believe but wished I could, 4. total disblief. Minimal pain afterwards because I busyed myself getting an education. Very happy today. e mail me if you have questions; my address is in the envelope under my name, Larc
I'm OUT.
I was raised JW. Started having serious questions when I was about 16. I avoided baptisim, because I was afraid of getting DF. I moved out on my own as soon as I turned 18, and never went back to the JWs. I spent several years not believing in the JWs, but still believing they were right about many of things. I have learned a lot since then. I am 32 now. Most of my family are still JW.
I am much happier now than when I was a JW, but at first it was difficult finding my way in the world and figuring out who I am.
---LisaBobeesa
I was 'in' for 12 years, 'out' for 13 or so, and I was df'd, so doubts or struggling were never an issue.
This wasn't your question but I would like to add; the turning point for me was when I did research I discovered that the JW have been claiming persecution here in the US for Jehovah/Jesus name when in truth they have been persecuted for:
Blood TRANSFUSION policy
ALTERNATIVE MILITARY SERVICE policy
SHUNNING policy
25 cent tax in MALAWI policy
going door to door SELLING LITERATURE TAX FREE policy
disfellowshipping women for being RAPED (untill 1993) and children for being MOLESTED (still in effect) or for SPEAKING about it policy
Oral sex (untill recently)and masturbation policy (still in effect)
No JW can show you these things in Scripture THEY ARE INFERRED, THEY ARE MAN-MADE POLICIES WHICH COST PEOPLE THEIR LIVES.
tHESE POLICES ARE ALSO ALL THE RESULT OF NEW LIGHT, since these issues didn't exist in the early days of the Bible Students. They are CREATED by man issues, and if you hadn't noticed they mostly effect young men and women, children and women. The GB never invent policies that affect themselves. DUH!
Thanks for letting me rant. You want specific references for this stuff, be happy to point the way.
And speaking just for me, no doubts or struggling involved, this is CRAP. What's so FAITHFUL and DISCREET about this stuff! So much for Acts 15:28, 29.."I favor adding no further burden to you"...
HAH!
Life is a roller coaster. Get in, sit down, shut up and hang on!
Most definitely an ex! I disassociated last November after about 12 months of niggly doubts and worries, these doubts and worries were confirmed when I started doing a little looking around on the internet, my eyes soon opened then! I found out so much negative information about the organisation, my belief that I was in the true religion just came tumbling down around me.
Now, I can honestly say that I have never been happier. I would not change a single thing in my life now, my children are more settled and my husband, who also left at the same time after 25 years of JW rule, is starting to enjoy his life again. It is a real joy to live life to the full now without having to analyse every little thing you do.
Hey Frenchy!
Wellll, lookey whut the cat drug in! Glad to see your name again. Hope all is going well for you? S'ok with me.
Hey troubled
As for the association your keeping - I'm a jw woman of 30 years, in good standing, inactive by choice. My husband - jw for entire life (56) inactive by choice. Really bad things happened/are happening in our hall, we just quit going.
Then I clicked onto the web - and here I am, and we never have intentions of going back into a High Control Group. Never again. Do we believe in God? Yes. Do we understand the Universe, the Bible, God's Will, etc.? No.
But we read and think a lot, are much more content. My husband no longer has migranes every time he goes to a meeting. I no longer use Prozac. Could be other reasons, but remarkably, those two things disappeared from our lives when we stopped going to the KH.
waiting
