How Many IN, OUT, etc. (page 3)

Number 6

Definitely an Ex.

Out for a decade but the conditioning was so strong I was shit scared to question it for 9 of the past 10 years. Then came the internet... and Ray Franz's books. The rest is history.

6

I am not a dub I am a free man.

I have been inactive for several years, just drifted away, about 6 now. I am a 52 yr. old woman who was raised in it since the age of 8. My mom drug us kids in, but not my dad. I had nagging doubts all my life but the Society always puts the blame on you for your doubts and so I didn't realize until I left all the truth about the truth. As the years went by, my doubts became more and stronger though. I couldn't see the "love" anymore. I could see the partiality when there was not supposed to be any. I wondered about the changes over the years and how the GB could in one breath claim to be God's spokesman and then turn around and say they were imperfect and that any changes made were because of that. I couldn't understand how a Almighty God couldn't make his point to even imperfect men running His organization. The list goes on and on.
After my mother's death I basically stopped going except for a couple meetings and two memorials. I have a sister who calls on me and makes sure I get the magazine sub renewed. Matter of fact, she was just here this morning. She is very sweet. She studied with my youngest daughter for about 2 years after we moved in here. I think she knows that my daughters and I won't be returning but she keeps coming back. Sometimes I think she is very unhappy and she'd like to talk.

We moved into this territory shortly after my Mom died. It is just next to the old territory so no one really "lost track" of us. But no one else visits. No elders have ever been here from either congregation to make sure my transition went okay or to welcome me into the new congregation, and no MSs either. None of the great "friends" who were with me my whole life care one bit to visit with me. Some of my husband's family (my husband was never a JW) are still JWs but they have drifted one by one, over the years. The ones left will probably be in for the rest of their lives though and they don't have much to do with any who left.

At first I was thinking that the Society just needed reform. But after a few years of extensive research I realize that, at least in my opinion, that there is no true faith and that if there was a creator he/she/it is long gone. I could say a lot more on that subject but not now...to long.

Happier..? YES! Even without some of the things unanswered I am much happier. I did go through a time of depression and I had to take breaks in my research. It is hard to believe one thing all your life and have all the answers to everything and then find out they are all wrong. So take your time on doing what you need to do. If I can help in anyway feel free to contact me. I will do all I can to answer any question you might have. I just finished my first semester of college and made the deans list. I read what I want and do what I want, without guilt or worrying about who might say what if I did what. No more dealing with gossip and false love and no more people telling me I need to do more despite running myself into the ground. I was miserable as a JW and now I am much, much less miserable. I have days and maybe a week when things aren't right but if I even think of going back, I just remember that I only want what was familiar most of my life. I remember all that I learned about the Society and I am on my way to healing from the Spiritual abuse I suffered all those years. My life is much more healthy emotionally and my family is much happier too. My daughters aren't afraid of ashamed to be themselves nor are they reluctant to talk to me about anything like they were when we were "in".
Hope this helps because I know you are struggling. But we all did/are so you are far from being alone. Remember that despite what the society says, most leaving do not turn into sex maniacs, druggies, nor do they turn to crime or do anything evil. That is a scare tactic that they use to hold people in. Don't be afraid, your world will open up like you will never believe, just give it time.

(((((hugs)))))
Lindy

troubled

I mean the designations by each person's name:

Jedi member, Newbie, Emperor class, etc.

Simon

Ah, I see... that is just a 'fun' thing based on how many posts people have made.

You become a Jedi at 1000 etc...

I'm thinking of replacing this with a bronze/silver/gold/platinum system which will be based on a combination of number of posts, rating and permissions granted (ie. member level)

Francois

I've been out for twenty-five years. Before that, I had one foot in and one foot out for another ten years or so.

One of the things that got to me in the JWs was how a god of love could swoop down out of heaven and murder off 99.99999998% of the human race, who he was supposed to love, because they weren't a particular flavor of religion.

Now that I'm out, I'm still tormented frankly by how this same god of love can allow so much suffering on this planet. Suffering in terms of baffling diseases, the fact that evil seems always to prosper at the expense of loving and spiritual people, war, war, and more war, and finally by the injustice and unfairness of the creeping onset of old age - forcing his children to face the deterioration of the mind and body. It's just not FAIR!! Most of all, I think I'm bothered by the sheer volume and preponderance of injustice on this planet. And why does god allow such an organization as Jehovah's Witnesses even to exist??? And all the murder and hatred between religions all claiming to represent his loving nature. It ain't fair, it just ain't fair.

It's awfully hard to maintain a belief in God and faith in any afterlife when this one seems so poorly fostered and maintained.

Anyone share these views? Or am I the only curmudgeon here?

Francois

Where it is a duty to worship the Sun you can be sure that a study of the laws of heat is a crime.

Frenchy

Hello, Waiting. It's good to see you too. I'm doing fine, thanks and I'm happy to know you're well also.

Francois
You are not alone in your views. As a Witness I talked to a lot of people out in service and the question that came up the most among those people that were willing to talk was: Why does God permit wickedness and suffering? I've not yet heard a satisfactory answer to this question. I realize that not knowing the answer does not disprove the existence of God. It's only one more thing that I don't understand.

-Seen it all, done it all, can't remember most of it-

Disengaged

Lindy

Just wanted to thank you! for your beautitful post. I'm sure it touches on, the way many here, feel. Yout hit many of the reasons i'm staying away. Thanks again!

soylibre

I was a JW for 12 years, I entered the organization at 15 and disassociated myself at 27. I am in a different situation than many, when I da'd I actually REGAINED my family. I had shunned them so long for being "worldly" (remember "bad association spoils useful habits!"). When I left at 27, it was like starting my life for the first time. I didn't even know my parents or siblings because I had always looked at them through the eyes of a Witness....now for the first time as an adult I have a great relationship with them...It really HURTS when I hear them talk about how they felt while I was in the organization and how much they suffered. My poor parents felt like they had been totally cut out of my life and decision making process when I was 15, they say it was like the JW's just took over! And they did....but I'm out now and that's the most important thing....

TweetieBird

Dedalus, you wrote: "There were several things that finally got me out. First, I graduated from college, but not before taking a "Science, Religion, and Philosophy" course that challenged every assumption on which my faith was based."

That, my friend, is why the organization does not want young ones to get a college education.

Also, how is your mom doing? Is she still df'd or were you able to spare her from the shame and humiliation of being df'd with your new-found knowledge of the borg.

I too was puzzled to hear about the Society supporting Jimmy Swaggart's plight. Of course, we all know they were only looking out for themselves, but it still was a slap on the face. I thought to myself, it is do as we say, not as we do.

Thirdson

Hi troubled,

I added myself to the poll. I was raised as a JW, got baptized at 14 and continued as an active publisher until 1996. I quit totally in 1997 after being in for 22+ years. I discovered I didn't know anything of the history of my religion. I had never read the older books and was surprised to learn of a totally different set of date being taught formerly. What made me angry was the way the Watchtower claims special insight in to prophecy and implied they predicted things in advance when in fact they did not. The lies about 1914 caused me to investigate further and with the 607 b.c being seen to be wrong the whole belief system colapsed.

Knowing the history of false statements, wrong ideas, foolish doctrines is one thing, knowing of the cover up and lies is something else.

Thirdson - happy to be out and happy to be relearning and finding my own "way".

'To avoid criticism, say nothing, do nothing, be nothing'

How Many IN, OUT, etc.

-Seen it all, done it all, can't remember most of it-

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