Hi there,
Mnnnnnnn I might be contradicting all the good advice here; If you truly love her you will stick to her like glue until she decides finally that it is over, and if she does then you have to be firm and say that this is really the end. I have finally left the organization, for all the reasons you see on these pages. I did think I would go back at one time, but I had a 'Wordly' boyfriend who truly was my soulmate, and then of course I found out all the bad things that were going on in the organization which were kept secret from me while I was a member. No-one could tell me; I had to find our for myself. The fact is that this girl cannot be disfellowshiped for dating or marrying outside the organization (of course the sex thing comes in to it as well); I was going to go back even with a boyfriend. If she is disfellowshiped then it might hit home that they don't practice what they preach. It seems that she must be going through a terribly confusing, and upseting time, but if you do the right thing by her then at least if it all does hit the fan you will know that you were loyal and supportive to the last; you will not have nothing to reproach yourself for. You have to keep in mind that she has been seriously brainwashed; all her thoughts and actions monitored; she is incapable of thinking for herself; she is deserving of pity and support. However, you may just not be able to stand all the stress, and decide that you have to end it. This of course is your perogative; only you know what you can bear. Ultimately, it rests on whether you truly love her, and by this I mean you probably will spend your whole life together, and how much of this irratic behaviour you can bear without putting yourself under such stress that it would make you ill. If you search your heart and find that you don't love her then it's probably not worth all the pain.
However, you might do a service to her as her friend to point out that although there are many good JW's, nevertheless there are many things that have been done by them in the last 15 years which according to their own teachings are wrong: they have had U.N. connections as an non governmental organisation or NGO, (absolutely condemned by JW's according to their teachings); they invest in tobacco companies whilst banning their members from partaking; they have made rules and regs, which according to the scriptures they teach, is a sign of a sect not a true religion; more than 23000 documented sexual abuses so on and so forth, whilst claiming that they are a shining light to the nations. They will say 'everyone makes mistakes' and 'we are imperfect', but the fact is that in this world when somebody stands up and says they have integrity (like our politicians, or any public figure), and they are found out, disgrace and sometimes legal action follows: they are NOT above the law of any land. However, they keep serious situations that should be in police hands 'in house', which is a very serious matter not only to the laws of the land, but to the God she believes in. How would he feel having such shameful conduct representing him? She might be interested to know that according to scripture they will have lost 'Jehovah's'' blessing because of these many wrongs. But, if there is God out there, he blesses people of all sorts, and all nations, and if you believe in Jesus, it was said that he gave his life for everyone not just a few 'saved' individuals (or else what was the point in him sacrificing himself?). Sorry, got carried away there because it makes me so angry. I put my life on hold for 24 years; I was a promising musician, but gave it all away, bit by bit to be controlled and dominated by their teachings. Luckily, I'm at uni now doing the degree I dreamed of; in a post punk band singing the top of my head off about all these sorts lies taught by religions, and the corruption in government. I enjoy life; I have found truth; and I treasure every day now. It's taken me years to 'get it', and it may take your girlfriend some time too.
It is very difficult for you though isn't it? It's easier said than done sometimes. All you can do is think of your strategy, and stick to it, and I hope for the best that you will be together. I'm sorry if I have said anything to upset you; it certainly wasn't meant that way. Keep talking about it here because there is a great crowd of people who are willing and able to support you! If only she could access this site, she would soon come to see that free will meant just that: YOUR CHOICE!