I was naive and stupid to sleep in there with her, but I figured it would be OK as long as nothing happened. She didn't try anything, I didn't try anything, we literally just slept (I slept on the chair, she slept on the bed). At the time I was too naive to realize just how bad it looked. I had to quit my job over it.
No I'm not........your actions did. You opened up the suspicions for others to fill in the blanks as you admitted they did. He said she said a difficult situation could have been avoided. Could you have arranged at the last minute different sleeping arrangements like a separate room or even a different Hotel? What is the price of a man's or woman's integrity? What price would you put on your wife's peace of mind?
You paid a high price for what you did, in hindsight would you have done anything differently?
Edited to add: We NEVER EVER put ourselves in a compromising position with the opposite sex though. A male coworker who is also a friends with my husband asked me out to lunch the other day. I said as long as his wife or a coworker was there, I'd love to, but otherwise, I might be better to wait for another day to get a bigger group. He respected that and I honored my husband in the longwhile. I don't need someone seeing me with a male coworker having lunch thinking it's an affair. I would never put myself in that position. I love my husband too much to even allow gossip to come up.
Compromising positions can be avoided if you are an honorable person. Respect of your husband or wife and yourself as well as the other person are a high priority because it's just too hard to repair the damage of suspicion and gossip.
That mistake had nothing to do with honor. FYI, it was either I slept in that hotel room or slept on the street. I lived from paycheck to paycheck at that point in my life.
I was naive and stupid, I agree. But, I did not cheat. I slept. I was very sure the lady wouldn't try anything, and knew I wouldn't. My actions, although dumb, were not "dishonorable". I don't appreciate my honor being brought into question.
No, I would do nothing different next if I could go back. EVERYthing happens for a reason. If I had never lost that job, I wouldn't be my own happy self today.
I was thinking maybe the hotel has a roster of all people in the room, so I called the hotel two more times (this is getting very expensive) and asked for each of the girls, and each time, they sent my call back to a room. So I was wrong, the guys may not have each gotten a room in their name just because the hotel knew their names at the front desk, because the hotel in fact knew everyone's names.
But you guys are right. Even if it was innocent, it was rude of him to do something that would look like they were a couple, or even to act like he was in college and it's cool to share a hotel room with another girl like you're friends. When you're married, it's just different rules. He called about an hour ago to say that his guy friend feels really bad. I told my husband he is the one who should feel bad, and tried not to be too nice. Husband said that tonight either guy friend will have to stay with husband or husband is getting another room. I was like, dang right you're getting another room. Anyway, thanks again.
I was naive and stupid, I agree. But, I did not cheat. I slept. I was very sure the lady wouldn't try anything, and knew I wouldn't. My actions, although dumb, were not "dishonorable". I don't appreciate my honor being brought into question.
You knew, she knew and as you said nothing did happen but you can't no matter how hard you try change the meaning of the word or the meaning behind the word. It's not my definition of the word nor my intent to suggest you were dishonorable it's just what it looked like to others seeing two people a man and a woman going into a room together.........
honorable
adj 1: not disposed to cheat or defraud; not deceptive or fraudulent; "honest lawyers"; "honest reporting"; "an honest wage"; "honest weight" [syn: honest] [ant: dishonest] 2: showing or characterized by honor and integrity; "an honorable man"; "led an honorable life"; "honorable service to his country" [syn: honourable] [ant: dishonorable] 3: used as a title of respect; "my honorable colleague"; "our worthy commanding officer" [syn: honourable] 4: adhering to ethical and moral principles; "it seems ethical and right"; "followed the only honorable course of action"; "had the moral courage to stand alone" [syn: ethical, honourable, moral] 5: deserving of esteem and respect; "all respectable companies give guarantees"; "ruined the family's good name" [syn: estimable, good, respectable]
I would have gone into debt and I would have expected my mate to as well to make sure I/he was above suspicion. Hell I would have slept in the car if need be. There are always other options.
So if given the same situation now FMZ would you do things differently?
Well, I guess it depends on the viewpoint. From my viewpoint (and I know exactly what happened) it was honorable. I stuck to my principles and did not do a thing.
From the viewpoint of someone outside of that room, it was not seen as honorable. However, my personal honor does not rely on their viewpoint. It relies on my principles, and the way I react to a situation.
Given the same situation today, I probably would do it differently. I am not as naive as I used to be, and realize now that my standards and honor will be questioned by some dumbass on an internet forum.
Okay I haven't read every single post, but most of them.
The *ONLY* thing I can say in your hubby's favor is this:
IF you were cheating would you let her answer the phone and then hand it to you if it were your wife? Wouldn't she say "hold on the guys ended up sleeping in the other room and the gals in this room....let me holler over to them"
Doesn't it seem odd she would just answer the phone and had it to him with you on the other end - like it really might have been innocent?
VERY VERY DUMB FOR APPEARENCES AND TEMPTATION"S SAKE I MIGHT ADD AND YOU HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO BE WORRIED, PISSED, ANGRY AND SUSPECIOUS.
Given the same situation today, I probably would do it differently. I am not as naive as I used to be, and realize now that my standards and honor will be questioned by some dumbass on an internet forum.
FMZ
Naa you should't worry about what some dumbass on an internet forum thinks, you should only worry about what those whom you have to interact with IRL think. They are the ones that count and the ones that count on you to do the honorable thing.
