Does anyone know a good exit counselor in the Chicago area?

by Check_Your_Premises 24 Replies latest jw experiences

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  Check_Your_Premises

  Logan,

  Thanks for the complement on my handle. It is a hold-over from my Ayn Rand days.

  Yes, I agree with you that the term "cult" should not be used lightly. In fact it is a term I have only recently adopted and applied to the jws. I would never use it when speaking to a jw, it is simply to inflammatory.

  You are also correct that a person should never try to use direct contact with an exit counselor until a great deal of groundwork has been laid. In my case, I still have a great deal of work to do. The reason I am interested in speaking to an exit counselor, is to give me advice as to how to proceed.

  You are also correct about other Christian groups that use such methods. I am inclined to believe in the aspects of freedom that Christianity provides. Salvation comes through faith and the grace of God. It is true that faith is manifested by works, but just as "faith without works is dead", so also is works without faith. If people need the influence and threats of other people to perform works consistent with faith, then they obviously lack the heart condition that is consistent with a true faith.

  That is one of the other reasons I don't like the wt org.

  Just curious. What is your status with the org? You don't sound like a dub. (you are here and willing to discuss criticism of org), although you could be construed as a bit of a jw apologist. You don't sound like a former dub (you are not bitter and want to treat the org fairly).

  Feel free to ignore the previoius question.
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  coffee_black

  Hi,

  I just wanted to address Logans experience with someone on the helpline saying that they believed in modern day miracles, even to raising of the dead.

  I hadn't said who I am here, but I think I need to. My name is Debbie Shard and I'm a board member of BRCI. I answered the helpline on and off for about 8 years, but haven't for at least the past 5 years. Logan's experience disturbed me, and I'm on the phone now with Marilyn because I thought she should know about it. This is from Marilyn: "We at BRCI do not engage in exit counseling. We are a non doctrinal group, formed specifically to help others in their recovery. If I had known of the incident, I would have put a stop to it immediately. That is not what we are about. We have both wracked our brains and can't think of anyone who answered the helpline who would have voiced such a thing. Could it have been a referral? We've had to remove some for engaging in that type of behavior. We appologize for your experience."

  Coffee
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  blondie

  Thanks, Debbie, for clarifying that. I'm sorry too if I misled anyone to think that BRCI had "exit counseling." I was thinking of finding support from other ex-JWs. I found it hard to believe that anyone on the BRCI helpline would have promoted a personal religious belief. I have only talked to Marilyn and she never approached anything like that.

  But the helpline is still a very good resource. Some ex-JWs are willing to help JWs who have made the decision to leave and the helpline people can match you up with them if they are in your area, knowing what kind of person these people are.

  As to Steve Hassan, I think he gives some good practical advice in his books as how to help family members and friends think out of the box and patiently just keep planting a seed and watering it.

  Blondie
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  logansrun

  CYP,

  I am an ex-Witness for three years now. I simply wish to be as objective as possible in dealing with them -- something which is generally missing on this site. ("Groupthink" seems to pervade here as it does in the organization, but that is another matter entirely)

  As for the BRCI bit...Well, like I said there was a female I talked to once who did make this claim about resurrection. It wasn't Marilyn or anyone from the Chicago area. I have no idea what her name was, but...oh well!

  B.
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  peacefulpete

  The term "cult" is probably what Bradley is objecting to. To many it invokes images of cool-aid and dead actresses. I do use the term occasionally but generally prefer to better define the JWs as a High Control Group. The either of these broad terms can be applied to a broad spectrum of groups with varying degrees of harmfulness. The WT does use many of the same techniques as other more insidious groups and so must be properly identified as High Control. The extent and purpose to which these techniques are used are what differentiate the murderous from the simply unethical. The formost reason to identify the JWs as such a group is not to simply engage in name calling but to assist those having difficulty reintigrating into society by helping them understand the psychology of the environment they're leaving.