Bullies (page 3)

ljwtiamb

Sorry! I know that you are looking for serious suggestions.

I just needed to vent and act like a total JW a$$!

Nancy I feel for you! I always gave my kids permission to stick up for themselves even if it came to blows as long as they were defending themselves. This worked once when MY son bullied another kid and I was confronted by the parents of that kid.......ikes! I looked my son right in the eye and in front of the parents and other kid told him bulling was not acceptable and if Johnny wanted to beat the crap out of him for bullying him he had my permission to do so. The parents looked shocked and of course they didn't want things to come to blows (either did I) but it seemed to make an impact on the boys. Later in talking privately to the parents we got a good laugh and the boys got along after that.

I'm looking for advice on how to handle a neighborhood child that is bullying my son and other children in my apartment complex. He is very mean, takes my son's stuff, tries to trip him on his bike by putting a stick into his spokes, pulling his underwear up, cussing at him.
At first I tried to talk to him nicely, asked him to please not do mean things to other children. After a few more times of him being a punk, I yelled at him...he basically just mocked me. My son is six, and I think this boy is about the same age, maybe even younger.
I thought about talking to his parents, but I don't think they speak english.
Has anyone ever had to deal with a bully child? This kid is just MEAN.

If this child is destroying personal property first try to settle it with the parents telling them they will have to pay for repairs and if they don't you will make a police report for property damage. Hitting the parents in the pocket book sometimes helps them get control over the situation.

Yelling at them and threatening them does no good as you've learned thats exactly the response they want it feeds their twisted egos. Always remain calm but keep a firm voice and look directly into the kids eyes when you speak to him! Even when they glance away, get eye contact and be firm!

Try speaking to the parents and settle things that way first, on the second response (if there is one) let them know you will go to the police and let them handle their son's violent behavior. Don't threaten anything you aren't willing to actually do! As far as I know everyone understands the words POLICE! So don't let their lack of the English language bully you!

Good luck, my heart goes out to you it's a tough situation to be in from either side.

Kate

jeanniebeanz

Nancy,

If you feel that your son is in danger, and I think that if the young jerk is attempting to wreck him on his bike, call the police. If you have a cam corder, use it and try to capture at least some threatening behvior.

A threatened lawsuit may cool their jets as well, especially if you've got witnesses.

I hate bullies.

Jeannie

bebu

Nancy, 6-year olds are tricky, aren't they... I think such a 6-year old bully might be better intimidated by a towering, tough man. I think these squirts have learned to see women as weak (maybe their own mom is being harassed/abused by the father), so they totally disregard you. Short of your beating him up and proving that you mean business, he likely won't give you the time of day. So, get information about his parents and find out what legal recourses you have. Contact the parents and let them know what you will do if they do not control their son.

Beachbender, you need to make sure the school is involved. You will want to know at what point the police might be notified. Schools nowadays have a VERY low tolerance for harassment and bullying, because they feel liable to lawsuits if they are negligent. Those "friends" are worth losing for good. My son was in a fight recently, but it got resolved thru the school (the bully got suspended for 5 days, and some juvenile detention too, I think). I guess you could make sure your son always has some witnesses about...

Good luck!

EvilForce

I know you are looking for helpful advice....

1. You can try and approach the kids parents, even if they only speak a little English. They more than likely will crack their kids around a fair bit since my experience with green card families is that they will do ANYTHING to not have the police get involved.

2. If you don't want to approach them or it doesn't work, please call the police and file a report so the officers can at least stop over and say something.

3. If your boy or anyone else's on this board is being harrassed at school the principals are under obligation to provide a safe harbor. You may check out the www.hrc.org website for more information. The Jamie Nebuzny vs. Board of Education, Wisconsin Superior Court is of particular interest since most educators from all over the USA are taught about this lawsuit and the effects of bulling on school districts and educator responsibilities. Basically, the school wasn't providing a safe envioment for young Nebuzny...his parents repeatedly approached school officials who didn't do much and pretty much said well Mr. Nebuzny is possibly gay he may have to just "deal with it". Needless to say this attitute cost the school district in excess of $ 5,000,000 w/ legal fees. It was a landmark ruling in school bullying.

Dustin

I agree about the idea of a baseball bat. When I was younger I was always the target of the neighborhood bullies due to the stupid JW religion that I was forced into. It got so bad, I was getting the crap kicked out of me every day after school.

One day in shop class we made fireplace pokers. I waited a couple of extra days to take mine home. When the kids started chasing me home, I took that sucker out and hit the leader of the group square in the shins. He went down like a ton of bricks. I then told them from now on it would be in my bag, and not to screw with me. It didn't happen again. I was probably about 11.

Tracy, I also agree about sending your son to karate. It would probably help. Don't encourage him to pick fights. But encourage him to stand up for himself, if a kid hits him he needs to punch the kid where it counts. That's the only true remedy.

Jez

(I edited what I was going to say to Minimus)

I would step in and have many times. My daughter got punched when she was 13 by some stoned kid. I found the 16 year old kid, and told her that if she EVER laid a finger on my kid again, I would come after HER...and I would not give a shit about the repurcussions. (I eventually laid charges, she was convicted, she got 'community time', anger management and had to write a letter of apology and conditions to stay away from my kid) Now this was a 13 year old. For me, I would approach the little turd and tell him in that his behaviour is UNACCEPTABLE, that you will not tolerate it and if he touches/bugs your kid again, you are coming after him. Just make sure that no one overhears you and it is your word against his if he squeeks. Even if he does, it is worth it for you kid's sake. Make it simple, pointed and nasty and mean what you say. GRRR Jez

minimus

Jez, what were you going to say??

love11

First of all take a look at this, it may help translate.

http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/6/88628/1477933/post.ashx#1477933

Then I would tell your son that if he is being beat up, then he will not get into trouble for defending himself. Abusing someone is wrong, no matter what the age. Maybe a lesson learned from your son will change this boys actions in the future.

I always loved that scene in "Christmas Story" movie that shows Ralphie beating up the town bully. Love that show!

Doubtfully Yours

Whether they speak the language or not, show up at their door step with your child to explain what's been happening and try to reason with them.

If this doesn't work, call the authorities. If they don't speak English, perhaps they won't want to deal with the authorities and maybe this fear will make them get their little monster under control.

Hope it goes well!

DY

Bullies