by pratt1 47 Replies latest jw friends
I made some typos in my last e-mail, the dub walked into my office as I was typing and I moved screens a little too quickly.
Too numerous to correct here, but it was the dub that walked out of my office in a huff.
And it is I who felt really bad for the df'ed guy. I don't know what to do.
Yes, I'm sure she feels like she is the oppressed one! Why aren't YOU respecting HER religious views? She can't for 2 seconds put herself outside of her own 2 shoes and realize what an idiot she is being. No doubt she has that smug, arrogant attitute of most JW's. He brought it on himself, why should I have to deal with it? Circular logic....
My brother-in-law (elder) recently flat out asked my brother (inactive for 6 1/2 years) about something out of the clear blue that was none of his biz and when my brother responded truthfully my brother-in-law had the nerve to say "You've put me in a bad situation.... I can't have you coming around my family knowing that now". Fu**ing retard!!!
And it is I who felt really bad for the df'ed guy. I don't know what to do.
Hopefully, as a result of the way you have handled things it will get better for him. At least at work.
Of course, you could always nonchalantly place a copy of "Crisis of Conscience" with an anonymous typed note on his desk after hours. He might benefit from reading it and in the same token you are not sticking your neck out there.
Funny how each responded so dramatically different:
When he brought up his grievances with the Dub he was adamant that I do not approach the dub and that he would handle the situtation better in the future.
...I spoke with the dub. She walked into my office with such attitude and defiance, ... she wanted a transfer from her unit to another unit where she would not have any interaction with the Df guy. ...walked out of my office in a huff and no doubt went straight the HR.
Who's the grown up? Who's the 'Christian'?? I think it's quite clear.
Note: The newly DF'ed guy really felt bad for him. ... Don't quite what to do
Umm I have few thoughts.
Reassure him that he is a valuable member of your team. Being part of team, we sometimes have to assist our teammates when they are injured. He's injured right now. Now doubt he's been there when you needed special help with something (special project, special customer, difficult situation) and this is a time when the tables are turned and he's allowed a little extra consideration in return.
Can you give him an extra personal day (if he wants/needs one?)
Does he need a little cash to move into new home?
(I don't know specifics of your df'd guy, but someone at my work became seriously ill shortly after we were hired. When he was there, he was great but after 4months employment, he was absent more than he was present. Even spent a week or two in the hospital. Drs didn't know what was wrong with him. When he'd come in - sat next to me - he be so worried that he was going be fired because he wasn't living up to his commitment to our manager. He was almost in tears. Had just gotten married. Really needed the money. Poor guy was just getting no rest from worrying about personal issues and job, too. Manager spoke with him privately. Assured him the job was secure. Offered to look into company assistance/help with personal expenses (Drs bills, food, etc.) That conversation did soo much good for that employees overall mental health that it helped him more quickly get a handle on his personal health situation. Stronger commitment to the company and that respect radiated thru our department. He's a strong member of our team even now.)
Referral to psychologist to safely express himself and perhaps get clarity on what he wants to JW-wise. (Some companies offer assistance to employees for a few sessions to get thru crisis)
How about a social event for your team? Like a night out to go bowling or play softball or something physical?
Join you at the gym?
Does he have a support group? Friends?? I'd like to suggest inviting him for a meal but there may be thoughts of favoritism amongst others. Can't figure if this is a good idea or not. I think I like the team play better. Something fun for everyone but something that you are positive he will participate in.
Ask him what might ease his emotional pain.
Gain commitment that if stress is getting too strong to let you know immediately. Part of your job is helping to keep your team together and it will do no one any good if he stays in depression too long.
Be a friend. Say hello.
I'll keep you guys updated
I hope so! Nice thread.
-Aude.
Fire the dub... the workplace is no place for this cult bull$hit!
"Has anyone else been in my position and how would you handle it? Or have you been in the fading dub's position? what would you have wanted your boss to do?"
I've never been in that position in the workplace, but you know what you have to do as a manager: you have to involve HR, document the performance issues, and once you document the emerging issues (the over-righteous dub who is affecting a co-worker's performance), you have to address that as well. And you have to keep religion out of the issues completely, focusing on performance of duties and standards for the jobs of both employees.
"She also revealed the nature of his "Sin"."
Uh-oh ... now we're dealing with a totally separate issue, with consequences for the stool pigeon. Involve your HR department immediately.
"By the way I had poke to the head of HR and was advied to immediately place her on corrective action and her work will be monitored for the next 3 months."
"I don't know what to do."
OK. Good ... I see that you've already involved HR. You HAVE to keep this on the totally professional level, despite any feelings on your part about the religious issues from either side. The standards are all about performance and responsibilities. If you breathe a word of religion or sympathy to either side, you're placing yourself and your employer at risk for a lawsuit.
As long as your HR rep is not a dub, you should also come clean with him/her about your own background. Share any insights that may be relevant as to shunning & other practices, but also remove yourself from the situation if advised by HR. The last thing you need is for your own career to go down the tubes or to face a civil suit over a wrongful dismissal on the grounds of religious discrimination.
