Can you be "just friends" ? (page 3)

EvilForce

Hello LittleRock!!!

You don't know how happy you made me with your post. I have tried to live my life as a Christian, Buhddist, Doctor, Gay man, and Ex JW as fully as I can. I am also looking for ways to pass on my experiences to others so maybe they don't have to go thru all the self hating, substance abusing, relationship landmines I dealt with. It's nice to feel like sharing my intimate life with all of you helps in some way :)

I know I find strength and encouragement from others on here, so really it's a 2 way street. I just hope I give as much as I get from this site and other "like minded" ones.

littlerockguy

EvilForce, Thanks so much. You are a great source of encouragement and I don't feel so alone now with what I am going/went through. I had to just eventually move away from my hometown to find out who I am.

EvilForce

Yes, I had to do the same thing! I moved 5 hours away (by car) to go to college to get away. Then my parents moved 5 months later to my city. UGH! So then I had to move 1400 miles away to make sure I could continue my internal journey.

Now I have a 2 Time Zone Buffer Rule. I love my family but I like having them at least 2 time zones away so they can't "pop in" for long weekends....LOL!

Brummie

and I don't feel so alone now

littlerock, thats great to hear! Welcome aboard. Good to meet you

Brummie

littlerockguy

I know what you mean!! I feel I can breathe now!! I dont have to worry about my parents visiting; they always want me to come see them and they dont like driving "in the big city", lol.

EvilForce

I remember the first time I was finally "away from it all" and could walk down the street hand - in - hand with my boyfriend and not care one iota what other people thought. I grew up in Iowa, and in a town of 4,500 people so I can relate. As a teenager I knew who was doing what, when, at all times. So I could never be myself really, nor trust any JW's to not rat me out. There is no such thing as "private reproof" in small town JW USA.

You may find this funny...or sad... anyway I got a call last year from an elder from Hawaii wanting me to "turn myself" in for some wrongdoing I supposedly did 17 years previously. (A boy I slept with now lives there and turned himself in. Keep in mind he was an elder himself at this point and never had bothered to come clean before this!!! I was 19 YEARS OLD at the time). I'm 37 now, get a grip!

I only came out to my parents a couple of years ago. I had made my peace with everyone else, but was still holding on to the hope that somehow my parents would give me UNCONDITIONAL love. I've bought them a car, computer, helped with their house downpayment...everything materially I could. So here I am this super sucessful doctor w/ accolades coming out my ears, money up the wazoo, and a "picture perfect" life...yet I just want my folks to love me for who I am without all the JW dogma.

My husband, (soon to be official husband since we are getting married in 2 weeks in Toronto) doesn't always understand what I've gone thru and it makes him angry at my family. Of course this doesn't help much as you can imagine.

littlerockguy

EvilForce, I'm also 37 years old so I know what you must have went through being part of the organization during the 80s. Sometimes I wonder what I would have done differently had I started out as a young man and not in the truth and didn't pursue a "worldly education" at that time and now that we are "so close to the end of the present wicked system of things". Ironic that elders now have their kids in college as we are even more closer now!

ScoobySnax

Your husband???? What do you mean by that?

CeriseRose

Your husband???? What do you mean by that?

Homosexual marriage is legal in Canada.

EvilForce

Scooby,

In Canada you can marry same sex partner.... Viva le Canada!!! So my boyfriend will officially become my husband in 2 weeks :)

LittleRock,

You really do know what I went thru then. The mid eighties to go off to college was almost blasphemy. I got a 15 minute public reaming from the Sunday talk about "weak minded Christians going off to further their education". Keep in mind I was the only one in HIGH SCHOOL in the small Congo I was in..and then he proceeded to talk about that same "lacking Christian" as buying a 2 door red sportscar...not a service car. I had bought a red 2 door Mustang a month earlier. Of course I spent a whopping $ 5,000 on this car. But I guess I should have gone into debt to buy a service car for $10,000.

I remembered thinking to myself...Hmm that Brother T**** has a college education himself. His father was brought into the "troof" by my grandfather.

So LittleRock...have you come out to your parents??

Can you be "just friends" ?

Share this