Adoption and shunning

by Bigbro 15 Replies latest jw experiences

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  Bigbro

  My wife was adopted and raised in a JW family, at a young age she made the mistake of being baptized. As a teenager she was disfellowshiped only to be reinstated. We met in collage and hit it off, and after dating (which her parents didnt know about) we decided to get married. Her parents refused to attend our wedding because of the fact that I was not JW. After the wedding she was disfellowshiped, not that she cared, she didnt want to be JW any more anyway. Her parents told me that they would have to shun her. I was pretty upset considering that she was adopted and she already had a since of rejection from her birth mother.

  Her father is an elder in their kingdom hall and is irrational to speak with. I had been letting our daughter spend time over at their house with the promise that they would not talk to my child on the topic of religion. Recently I found out that they had been lying to me and secretely teaching my kid about serving Jehovah (including anti- xmas and chrismas). I have now cut them off from seeing their own grandkids with the exception if they want to come over and vist with the hole family (including my wife whom they are currently shunning).

  Kind of a sad story, but that's just the way it is.
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  bennyk

  Believe you me, Bigbro: you are in numerous and good company.
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  kls

  If the grandparents can't play by the parents rules then that needs to be delt with . You have everyright and you are doing the right thing to stop it before you're kids turn on you for being normal.

  Good for you!,,,,,,,,,,And Welcome
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  Honesty

  Way To Go !
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  Bigbro

  Thanks for the support, I have no doubt that this is for the best. The only thing that is irritating is that my inlaws act like Im punishing them. I simply told them that it was their chose to shun their adopted daughter, and because of their decision they are going to miss out on their grandchildrens lives.
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  avishai

  Here's my feelings on letting dub relatives watch your kids!!!
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  Eyebrow2

  Bigbro,

  I feel badly for your wife. I never thought about how an adoptive child may feel shunning a little more harshly than someone else.

  I think you are being fair to the parents. They should have never lied to you, but honored your wishes. They should consider themselves lucky that you are your wife are you showing them unconditional love really...because you will still allow them to see you child, even though they betrayed your trust.

  They have a lot to learn from you and your wife.
• 

  Aude_Sapere

  Big Bro -

  It's terrible what that religion does to families...

  Thanks for posting and WELCOME TO JWD!!!

  We're happy to have you here. It's a good site and sounds like you may want to snoop around a bit.

  Cults Suck.

  -Aude.
• 

  rebel8

  Recently I found out that they had been lying to me and secretely teaching my kid about serving Jehovah (including anti- xmas and chrismas). I have now cut them off from seeing their own grandkids with the exception if they want to come over and vist with the hole family (including my wife whom they are currently shunning).

  That is a good way to handle it for 2 reasons:

  1) Supervising the visit prevents secret indoctrination against your wishes.

  2) Not allowing them to shun just your wife shows your kids your wife deserves respect and you are not willing to let them have relationships with people who refuse to be respectful.
• 

  Crumpet

  Bigbro - you gave them a chance, they broke your rules and as you can not trust them to respect you as a parent then they will have to visit their grandchild on your terms.

  How has your wife come to terms with their shunning? It must make things so much easier having a husband like you who evidently supports and cherishes her so well!