Adoption and shunning

by Bigbro 15 Replies latest jw experiences

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  Billygoat

  How has your wife come to terms with their shunning? It must make things so much easier having a husband like you who evidently supports and cherishes her so well!

  Bigbro and Crumpet - My husband is THE BEST supporter I have. He adores me and hates what my parents do to me with their shunning. Yes, he'll always be kind and polite when he meets them, but inside he just does NOT understand their viewpoint - and probably never will. He's very protective of me and supports my decision to have "cut them off". His love and protectiveness gives me the security I need to flourish as a person. It's amazing how much I've grown because of him.

  Andi
• 

  EvilForce

  THEY feel like they are being punished?!?!
  
  GOOD!!!!
  
  Ask them how it feels? YOU are the spiritual head of YOUR household. You went beyond any reasonable person probably would have. I would have been, don't want to see your daughter? Can't see the grandkids!!! They circumvented YOUR responsibilities by teaching YOUR child THEIR teaching.
  
  Makes me sick !!! I'm sorry for the heated feelings towards your in-laws but DF'ing and inactivity shunning is just plain wrong.
• 

  bebu

  Bigbro,

  Kudos to you for making them taste the consequences that their actions deserve! And thanks for being such a great moral support for your wife as well.

  Just curious... how long have you been reading the boards here before you posted? Does your wife read this board too?

  bebu
• 

  avishai

  Ask them how it feels? YOU are the spiritual head of YOUR household. You went beyond any reasonable person probably would have. I would have been, don't want to see your daughter? Can't see the grandkids!!! They circumvented YOUR responsibilities by teaching YOUR child THEIR teaching.
  
  Makes me sick !!! I'm sorry for the heated feelings towards your in-laws but DF'ing and inactivity shunning is just plain wrong.

  Great points. It's what they'd do if another realtive was trying to indoctrinate their kids into anything but JW's
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  Bigbro

  I just found the boards the other day but I have been researching their religion/cult since me and my wife got married. My wife is still upset about the way her parents are treating her, she had been seeing them on occation (picking up/ dropping off the kids). I think now that now that we are forcing them to either stop shunning her or lose the privillages of their grandchild it will help my wife. Either they will stop the shunning or they will allow my wife to get some closure.
• 

  AshtonCA

  Hi Bigbro,

  I too am adopted, since birth and I was also disfellowshipped for the same reason as your wife (well, sorta, I had relations with him before marriage. They told me that if I stopped having relations with him, I could still date him and stay in the truth. I knew that wasn't going to happen, so i said no I'll take my df'ing like an adult). I am still married to my hubby and though my parents have all left the org, they are now shunning me for a whole different reason. I no longer have any contact with them... I recently called them to tell them that my hubby's hyperthyroid problem seems to be getting better and may be in remission soon and they did not call me back to acknowledge that they got the message. They did however send my son a card saying they heard the good news about his dad.

  My relationship with my adoptive mother has always been strained. We never bonded, I bonded with my dad instead. I was a hard child to deal with and she gave up on me when I was little.

  I have suffered all my life with separation anxiety, trying to win my mom's approval... all sorts of things stemming from the adoption. I really don't know if I have ever felt the love that she had for her birth children that she had for me. I guess it is true when they say it is hard to love a willful child. I'm prove of that.

  Ash