No, despite the fact that it was hard to do what was expected of you, practically walk on water and never do enough preparing for the meetings, going to meetings and going out in service all the time and still not feeling you did enough; but one day after leaving the hall one Sunday after a meeting I just decided in my head that I had enough and couldn't stand any more.
Did You Ever Think You'd No Longer Be A Witness?
by minimus 63 Replies latest jw friends
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Dustin
No, anyone who knew me thought I would be a JW for life. It was all I knew and I stood up for it like a good and loyal follower for most of my life. Funny how things change.
I always envisioned living forever, but I know now that even then I didn't really believe it was true. But, I always stood firm just passing it off as my own short-sightedness. Funny how they can even break the will of the strongest willed people. I've always been more of a leader than a follower anyway. In the end I think it turned me into an even stronger person. I realize the importance of standing up for what I believe in, and not letting some arrogant self rightous group mold me into something I'm not.
Even though I hate the JW religion. I thank them for igniting the evil side of my personality. I was always a little too nice and trusting and forgiving for my own good. It took years of them crushing my self-esteem for me to actually find some.
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CountryBoyJim77
I was raised in the JW religion, and new nothing else. Never setting foot in a church, they were very evil in my eyes. I couldn't understand why people didn't want to be JW's. In 2000, I stopped attending meetings from major discouragement. Basically I was accused of being unspiritual which is why I never became a MS, that was one of my major goals. The funny thing was, I was good enough to do literature (I was literally in charge), help with magazines wince they both shared the same counter, operate sound, and even had a key to the Kingdom Hall. But i wasn't good enough to associate with. The only problem I had in my life was grief from loosing my father in death, which at that time was the first anniversary, the hardest in my opinion. So I suddenly quit going to the meetings. They had to distribute all things I've done to several people I heard.
Toddles!
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dh
when i was a child i knew i would grow up and be a pioneer, when i grew up i left the org.
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greendawn
For me the critical doubts came about a year after baptism when I realised that critisising the society's teachings ( blood policy, imminence of armageddon) would soon attract the elder's unwelcome attention. They told me I should never try to run ahead of the FDS and all that crap. Being very young and cocky at the time I wouldn't have any elders putting a gag order on me, IMO all people should accept to be criticised and if they think a criticism is not fair on them they can always come and reason things out and disprove it. The FDS is no exception being imperfect humans they do make mistakes. That's when I began thinking this place is no good for anyone and gave up the FS. I became inactive and disassociated six years later.
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M.J.
What's striking to me is reading how many years often pass from the time true doubt sets in and when the break is finally made.
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Check_Your_Premises
MJ,
Yeah, that is a depressing fact I have noticed as well.
I know it isn't all bad. There are many positive byproducts to the jw life.
Unfortunately it comes at a very high price.
Hopefully the constant, relentless help of a loved one can help free the bonds much sooner than someone dummying into it on their own.
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Chia
Never in my wildest dreams. Even when I had "sinned", I still thought I would be a Witness. Even after being reproved, I still thought I would continue to be a Witness. It amazes me how I ended up here, but I'm glad I did. I'm scared, I'm still learning, but I also feel very free.
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love2Bworldly
No I thought in the back of my mind that I would return eventually, until I found out the real truth about the 'truth'.
I remember one of the last talks I heard at an assembly in the late 80's, the speaker said we should stay single and live like the angels do. I got so sick of the BS about not getting married and having children, etc. My own family was extremely dysfunctional so I wanted to be close to a family of my own and be with someone who loved me. Because my parents were not JW's and I was not married to a JW, I was always on the outskirts socially and never included in social activities. But you were not to associate with worldly people either. What a f---ing lonely existence--that was enough for me.
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btafly
I never wanted to be a Witness. Ever. I was raised in it and I always thought we were a bunch of cornballs. Leaving was NEVER AN OPTION. I never even considered it. Once I hit rock bottom in my marriage, it hit me like a ton of bricks...I don't have to explain to the elders why I'm leaving my husband, I don't have to stay in an abusive marriage, and I don't have to set foot in another Kingdom Hall. I have choices. I never went back.