"I prayed for you" (page 7)

peacefulpete

nondeists need to be the most insightful and tolerent people. Everywhere they are faced with superstition and dogma. According to a recent poll they are the most distrusted and hated group. they try to encourage sobriety and social responsibilty but are maligned as immoral and selfish. It is easy to respond harshly (or with a clever retort) to unwanted but usually well intentioned comments like, "God bless you" or "I will pray for you" but that can only further distance them from us.

GentlyFeral

peacefulpete said:

nondeists need to be the most insightful and tolerent people. Everywhere they are faced with superstition and dogma. According to a recent poll they are the most distrusted and hated group.

I agree completely, and deplore this situation. I respect nondeists and "Golden Rule" deists alike. I have no patience when I am accused of spiritual arrogance or high-handedness; it makes me rude.

Terry, it wasn't your anti-deism that set me off, but your declared assumption that I look down on the people I pray for/with.

Sirona, I did not describe my methods just to show off, but to offer them to any other magic worker who wants to use them; exactly the same way I would offer another cook a favorite recipe. I hope you can accept the fact that we work in different traditions of magic and operate - honestly and humbly! - by different rules.

And I forgot to mention, when describing the "panhandler prayer" that I always ask if it's all right with them first.

gently feral

jeanniebeanz

Circumstances, implied intent, and my feelings for the person offering to pray for me makes a difference. If I feel the prayer being offered is a persons way of showing me how much my choices in life are repulsive to them, ie "I'm gonna get God to make you want to see things my way" then I react badly.

If the person offering to pray for me is a friend whom I feel respects me and has my best interests at heart not their own agenda, I see it as a loving gesture.

In Scully's initial example, I would have taken it in the first way...

J

trinity83

What is the big deal with something offering prayer. If your sharing your problems or what's going on in your life...your expecting a response. For a lot of people who are believers that response is from their heart. They want to pray. Don't talk about issues or problems to those people who say they will pray if you don't want to hear it. Or simply ask them not to say that. It's not like their saying the prayer outloud in front of you or anything.

Sirona

GentlyFeral

Sirona, I did not describe my methods just to show off, but to offer them to any other magic worker who wants to use them; exactly the same way I would offer another cook a favorite recipe.

Since you didn't actually offer any information as to "method" and simply implied how powerful you are, I find this explanation hard to believe. Plus, to suggest that anyone would want your unsolicited advice is making a very big assumption. By the way, the recipe analogy is misleading because it suggests that magick is about ingredients and nothing is further from the truth (that is, if one knows what magick actually is rather than what people like Titania and Silver Ravenwolf publish).

That said, thanks for titling your message "an apology". Apology accepted

Sirona

EvilForce

If someone said that to me and it bothered me.... I would simply reply back.... "Thank you for thinking of me, I have (or I will) prayed for you as well. Buddha has told me you needed the encouragement."

A couple of times of this Non=Christian entity and the behavior will stop.

If it's my patients ... then I let them do what they need to do. If they feel God has a personal vested interest in them recovering from surgery, then they will probably make a fuller recovery. But I have had a couple of instances where upon recovery they said that they prayed to God that he would work through my hands, and they knew they never had a problem with me as God was guiding my medical instruments and I was merely there in body to do God's biding. I then casually mention that since God really did the surgery and performed a miracle we could just go ahead and forgo any further pain meds since God was running the show.

rebel8

This topic has been discussed on etiquette forums and yes, it is considered rude. It is better to say "I'm thinking of you" or something similar.

Scully

What is the big deal with something offering prayer.

What a person chooses to do - whether it's offering a prayer, an incantation, a spell, sending positive thoughts or energy, or anything like that - is entirely their business. If they do it without my consent, I really would rather not hear about it, except perhaps to say "I was thinking about you", which is in fact true, without dragging their belief system - which may or may not conflict with mine - into it.

Also the time and place for informing someone is important. I think it's a very kind thing to say to someone in a private setting, when you have shared a confidence with them that they felt compelled to pray on your behalf. I tend to question the motives of someone, however, who blurts out "I prayed for you!!" in front of other colleagues who don't know about the confidential information you shared with the person and who start drawing conclusions or prying into things that you may not want to disclose.

As they say in show business: Timing is everything.

Jim_TX

Hmmm... how to reply - without ticking off the 'masses'... *muses to self*

Well, here goes.

I am not really a religious person... but still feel that I am spiritual. (Go figure THAT one out. *wide grin*)

First for the ones that say, "xxx needs our help, we need to pray for them." or "Please pray for me."

I usually tell them, "You (or they) are in my thoughts." Which is true.

Second - I think that this 'prayer' thing... while you may or may not believe in a 'god' - can be powerful. Basically, I feel that it has to do with the 'power of the mind'.

It has very little to do with a diety - or god. Other than the fact that so many people believe in one. (I hope THAT makes a tad bit of sense.)

Anyway... I'm rambling.

What I would be wary of - are the 'do gooders' who 'pray' for others. The question should be more of... "Oh. WHAT did you pray for - for me?"

The content.

For example... if one is having difficult times with a marriage... are they praying for the couple to get back together? Or are they just praying for the issue to be resolved - whatever course it takes.

Does that make sense?

If they actually 'pray' for a specific action - I.E. the couple making up and getting back together... then perhaps that is not the best resolution to the situation, and - if successful, could cause more problems in the long run.

If they 'pray' that the couple finds a solution to their problems - so that they can get on with their lives - then that may be the better thing to ask for.

Again - I am rambling.

I don't believe in 'prayer' - as the religious community does... but I believe in 'thoughts' - and the power of 'thoughts'.

So - to wrap this up... perhaps the comeback question should be... "Just what did you pray for - for me? Because I need to know what sorts of issues I may need to un-due in the next few weeks or months."

Regards,

Jim TX

mouthy

What I would be wary of - are the 'do gooders' who 'pray' for others. The question should be more of... "Oh. WHAT did you pray for - for me
Jim when I know someone is having a problem -you ask what do I pray for them ????

Answer>" Please Lord Guide ,lead,& direct them in your will ,give them the strength to carry on-I ask it in the name above all others Jesus Christ"
Does that answer your question ???But I am noting who I MUST not pray for anymore - I am sorry if I "ticked" some of you off" But I still love ya Jim (((((HUGS))) Do you still love me?????

GG

"I prayed for you"

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