Once again Garybuss is on the $$. Listen & learn!
Dismembered
"Don't you go dyin' on me now"
My father will lose his privileges if he attends my sister's wedding
by Goldminer 49 Replies latest jw friends
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loosie
Let us weight the options here: Daughters wedding vs: counting others peoples $$.
Daughter = someone he and his wife created out of love.
Privledges = counting $$ for the boys club.
Too F'ing bad for the boy's club.
I wouldn't miss my daughters wedding for the world.
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Scully
Yep. It's happening to a lot of people. It happened to minimus's mother - she lost her Pioneer status after 40 years of full-time work (nice kick in the teeth to a little old lady) - for attending minimus' daughter's "out of the truth" wedding. Something similar is happening in my family too.
So much for "freedom of worship", eh?
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stillajwexelder
at first I was ot going to reply to this thread as the anger I feel would have resulted in the use of swear words and got me deleted. This stinks - to me there is no contest - I would go to the wedding and screw the privileges
working my butt off for nothing. It is one reason why I am a coward and stay a witness so I can attend weddings and stuff like that -
garybuss
If I don't attend my daughter's wedding because I don't approve of WHO she is marrying, I am saying I don't approve of my future son in law as a PERSON and I don't support the wedding.
If I don't attend my daughter's wedding because I don't approve of the private BELIEFS of the person she is marrying, I am saying I don't approve of my future son in law as a PERSON because of his personal beliefs and I don't support the wedding. By the way, I am only guessing about his private beliefs since I can't read minds. So I am rejecting him based on my guess in this scenario.
If I don't attend my daughter's wedding because I don't approve of HER personal beliefs, I an insulting her and WHO she is marrying. I am saying I don't approve of my future son in law's choice for a wife and I don't support the wedding.
If I don't attend my daughter's wedding for any reason, I have insulted my daughter. I have insulted my son in law who will be the father of my grandchildren (who, by the way, will control who sees my grandchildren).
Next week the elders will have some other asinine demand, some other threat, and I have messed up my relationship with my daughter AND my son in law, his relatives, and my sane relatives, all for nothing.
I'd have to be nuts to miss that wedding. -
tijkmo
im sorry you are missing the point and getting angry isnt helping...what we want is a solution that makes everyone a winner
the issue here is not one of 'privileges' per se...it is a question of authority..who has the right to make the decision.The elders think they have that right.They do not.But to tell someone who thinks they have the right to do something, because they have the authority to execute it, that they do not in fact have that right is to invite further problems..the father is probably not going to stop attending meetings fs etc or become 'apostate' if he doesnt attend the wedding in which case the privileges are something he values and therefore as the wedding is one day and the privileges are ongoing then this will be a consideration.So what he needs to do is reason with the elders and get them to come to the conclusion that he in fact should go and get them to recommend this..Explain to them that he has researched the subject and this is what the wts say...see below...tell them that he wants to keep the channel to his daughter open should anything go wrong (heaven forbid) in the future...the elders do not have any other info beyond what is below..but do it enquiringly not confrontationally
But what about attending weddings of neighbors, worldly fellow workers, or distant relatives and acquaintances? Each Christian must personally decide on this. It is good to bear in mind that our time is precious, since we need time for our ministry, personal study, and other family and congregational pursuits. (Ephesians 5:15, 16) On weekends, we have meetings and field service that we do not want to miss. (Hebrews 10:24, 25) The timing of many weddings conflicts with assemblies or special service efforts linked to the Lord?s Evening Meal. We should not permit ourselves to become distracted from making the same special efforts that our brothers around the world are making to attend the Lord?s Evening Meal. Before coming to a knowledge of the truth, we spent much time with worldly people, perhaps in circumstances that dishonored God. (1 Peter 4:3, 4) Now our priorities are different. It is always possible to wish a worldly couple well by sending a card or dropping in for a brief visit on another day. Some have used such occasions to give a witness, sharing some scriptures that are fitting for newlyweds.w97 15apr p26
*** w74 12/15 pp. 766-767 Questions from Readers ***
Questions from Readers
? What is the view of Jehovah?s witnesses toward attending the wedding of a worldly acquaintance or relative?In the case of minors who contemplate attending, the final decision rests with the parents. Otherwise it is a matter for personal decision, with each Christian being willing to bear his own responsibility. However, there are Scriptural principles and a wide variety of circumstances that should be considered.
The wedding ceremony may be conducted in a religious building and by a clergyman. This would make it quite different from a purely civil ceremony. A true Christian could not conscientiously join or participate in any prayers or religious exercises that he knew to be contrary to Bible teaching. Nor is he interested to see how close he can come to apostate acts without overstepping the line. He is under obligation to heed the Scriptural command: "Do not become unevenly yoked with unbelievers. For what fellowship do righteousness and lawlessness have? . . . Or what portion does a faithful person have with an unbeliever? . . . ?Therefore get out from among them, and separate yourselves,? says Jehovah, ?and quit touching the unclean thing.?"?2 Cor. 6:14-17.
Understandably, one invited to attend a wedding of worldly relatives and acquaintances may at times be faced with quite a problem. For example, the invitation may have been extended to a Christian wife and her unbelieving husband. He may think that both of them should be present for the wedding. Yet she may be troubled about it. She may reason that, if she were to attend a church wedding, the emotional pressure of the circumstances could cause her to do something wrong. On the other hand, she might conclude that, out of regard for her husband?s wishes, she could go with him merely as a respectful observer, but being determined not to share in any religious acts.
Regardless of how a wife might view the matter, it would be to her advantage to explain her position to her husband. If, on the basis of her explanation, he comes to the conclusion that his wife?s presence may possibly give rise to a situation unpleasant to him, he may prefer to go alone. Or, he may still want her to go with him, but as a quiet observer, in which case she will have to decide whether to go.
Something that deserves consideration is the effect that attending a wedding in a religious building might have on fellow believers. Could it injure the conscience of some? Might their resistance to engaging in actual idolatrous acts be weakened by this action of yours? A Bible principle that comes into the picture is: "Make sure of the more important things, so that you may be flawless and not be stumbling others up to the day of Christ."?Phil. 1:10; see also 1 Corinthians 8:9-13.
At times an invitation to a wedding may include being actively involved as a member of the bridal party. What if this required participation in certain religious acts? Manifestly one desiring to be pleasing to God could not share in acts of false religion; the person must act in harmony with his Word. But a Christian could explain just how he feels and point out that in no way does he want to mar the joy of the wedding day by being responsible for what might prove to be an embarrassing situation.
In matters of this nature, Christians must carefully weigh all the factors involved. Under certain circumstances they may conclude that no difficulties would arise if they were to attend as quiet observers. On the other hand, the circumstances may be such that a Christian may reason that likely injury to his conscience or that of others by attending such worldly wedding outweighs the possible benefits of attending. Whatever the situation, the Christian should make sure that his decision will not interfere with his preserving a good conscience before God and men.
Questions From Readers
Would it be advisable for a true Christian to attend a funeral or a wedding in a church?Our taking part in any form of false religion is displeasing to Jehovah and must be avoided. (2 Corinthians 6:14-17; Revelation 18:4) A church funeral is a religious service that likely involves a sermon advocating such unscriptural ideas as the immortality of the soul and a heavenly reward for all good people. It may also include such practices as making the sign of the cross and joining in prayer with the priest or minister. Prayers and other religious exercises contrary to Bible teaching may also be a part of a religious wedding ceremony held in a church or elsewhere. Being in a group where everyone else is engaging in a false religious act, a Christian may find it difficult to resist the pressure to join in. How unwise to expose oneself to such pressure!
What if a Christian feels obligated to attend a funeral or a wedding held in a church? An unbelieving husband, for example, may urge his Christian wife to be with him on such an occasion. Could she join him as a quiet observer? Out of regard for her husband?s wishes, the wife may decide to go with him, being determined not to share in any religious ceremonies. On the other hand, she may decide not to go, reasoning that the emotional pressure of the circumstances could prove to be too much for her, perhaps causing her to compromise godly principles. The decision would be hers to make. She definitely would want to be settled in her heart, having a clean conscience.?1 Timothy 1:19.
In any case, it would be to her advantage to explain to her husband that she could not conscientiously share in any religious ceremonies or join in the singing of hymns or bow her head when prayer is offered. On the basis of her explanation, he may conclude that his wife?s presence could give rise to a situation that might be unpleasant to him. He may choose to go alone out of love for his wife, respect for her beliefs, or a desire to avoid any embarrassment. But if he insists that she go with him, she might go as a mere observer.
Not to be overlooked is the effect our attending a service in a religious building might have on fellow believers. Could it injure the conscience of some? Might their resistance to avoid engaging in idolatry be weakened? "Make sure of the more important things," admonishes the apostle Paul, "so that you may be flawless and not be stumbling others up to the day of Christ."?Philippians 1:10.
If the occasion involves a close fleshly relative, there may be additional family pressures. In any case, a Christian must carefully weigh all the factors involved. Under certain circumstances he or she may conclude that no difficulties would arise from attending a church funeral or wedding as an observer. However, the circumstances may be such that by attending, the likely injury to one?s own conscience or to that of others would outweigh the possible benefits of being present. Whatever the situation, the Christian should make sure that the decision will not interfere with his preserving a good conscience before God and men.wt 02 15may p28
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blondie
The elders get letters from headquarters that the rank and file never see. One of those letters says that an elder/MS who attends the wedding of a JW who marries a non-JW will lose their "privileges." Sorry, but we don't play on an even playing field. There are always unwritten rules (rules which do not appear in the general WT publications) that really run the congregation. It is one of the characteristics of a cult and spiritual abuse.
Their authority does not come from the Bible or God but from a man-made organization.
Blondie
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Krystal
My parents already told me they won't attend my wedding... (my dad is an "MS" and attending my wedding would no doubt screw that up)
My dad e-mailed me a month or so ago to say that my pioneer sister is getting married this summer and I am NOT invited. In fact, I dont know her address or where the wedding is going to be. He wouldn't even tell me who she is marrying!
What can you do? To them, the org is more important than their own flesh and blood.
Sick if you ask me.
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Dismembered
I sent my DF'd son and his wife home, after his younger brothers wedding at the KH was over. He could travel six hours, come in the KH & be ignored, but I did not allow them to the reception. (At the behest of that sick FUCKING organization known as Jehovah's Witnesses.)
I doubt I will EVER get over taking such a cruel stance. Whenever that sick decision, that I so JDUBLY made, pops into my head, I literally have to run and vomit. It has caused irreparable harm to my innermost psyche.
PS Simon, please don't delete me for the profanity. It only emphasizes how my wife & I feel about a an incredibly bad decision.
Dismembered
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loosie
Blondie: do you know if it's an unwritten rule they are going by or their OWN personal feelings on the matter?
I would think that if the privledges are sooo important to him he could certainly appeal the decision or beg (cough) for forgivness and get them back.