My father will lose his privileges if he attends my sister's wedding

by Goldminer 49 Replies latest jw friends

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  googlemagoogle

  happens all the time. and usually everyone obbeys. they just don't know what bad witness they give to the worldly relatives. that's the good side of it.
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  diamondblue1974

  Being blunt (for a change); he could simply tell them to mind their own business; the elders do not have to know whether or not he went to the wedding and hes under no obligation (other than perceived) to tell them, hes not committing any sin, hes not compromising his precious beliefs.

  The elders have too much time on their hands if they are concerning themselves as to whether or not someone attends their own relatives wedding...I dont personally think theres a win win situation to be gained from this in all honesty, its time he made a choice...unfortunately for both your father and your sister the WTS has a great amount of control over their members and he will be battling with his guilty conscience.

  This power over people is extreme and this type of pressure was placed upon me at one time, I did tell the elders to mind their own business (although I was extremely polite about it) but in all honesty 99% of the time they back down especially if you do not rub it in their faces and mention it any further.
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  lonelysheep

  I hope he'll change his mind and put her first.
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  jgnat

  Here's something the cousin can say that might wake dad up. She can express regret that he will not be attending, that such an act will wound her deeply. She might then mention that in future years, she may make him a grandfather, and, would he like to have a relationship with those children?

  Let HIM think about the consequences a bit.
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  Goldminer

  Thank you very much for your thoughts everyone.I talked with my sister yesterday and she said she asked my dad if he would still come over to her house to visit after they are married.She tried to make him reason that if she and her husband-to-be aren't good enough for him to be at their wedding,would they be good enough to associate with after they are married?It sounds like it's eating him up inside.He came over a few nights ago and never mentioned anything to me but I could tell he wanted to say something.

  I will look up the articles quoted and pass them on to my sister.

  Goldminer

  p.s.Gary B.-wish I had you as an uncle,I love your attitude!
• 

  Chia

  I am sad for your father, Goldminer. I know I'm just a newbie here, but that's a difficult situation to be put into. I agree with the person who said that it depends on where you go. I do know of a similar situation, where the groom was raised around the "truth" and his wife was not a Witness. I believe it was announced that people shouldn't go to the wedding and not a lot of people went. The bride was crying. But I know a pioneer sister who went, and as far as I know, she never lost her privileges for it. It's just a sad situation.
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  garybuss

  Thanks Goldminer
  
  I think it's possible for a parent to abuse adult children and I think to snub a son or daughter's wedding because a book printing business told me to, is abusive. If it were my Dad, I'd hold a family meeting intervention style and tell him that he either starts to behave in a good way or he will be disassociated from the family and shunned forever. Then I'd see that he never got access to his relatives again.
  
  I was invited not to attend my Witness son's wedding. The thing that hurt me the most was my wife and my son left town for 2 days and attended without me. The people who support the shunners are the ones who add the sting.
  
  I'll say this, if anyone invites me to something while excluding someone important to me, I'll tell them to stick it where the sun ain't never gonna shine and don't EVER contact me again.
  
  
  
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  love2Bworldly

  I hope things work out for you Goldminer. JW's make me sick. They certainly are not Christ-like.
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  Es

  Hey Gold, Im in a similar situation, Ive been fading for years now was married to a brother now divorced and marring a "worldy" guy who is absolutely wonderful runs rings around my other partner....anyway my dad (elder) wont attend my wedding and is making sure my mum wont either. Its so #$%^ed. es
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  EvilForce

  F**k um I say....it's your wedding...
  
  I didn't even bother to invite my parents to my wedding since they said they wouldn't go to a "gay wedding" months and months ago. Then they were hurt when they found out about it later. Tough shite.