This is the letter i just recently sent to my Uncle. He invited me to the Memorial, i told him I would not be there as I thought it was hypocritical just to go to the memorial. He replied
If you love Jehovah miss your extended family want your children to have everlasting life Its not hypocritical. Love you lots
This is my reply to him
Dear Uncle ****, Yes I do love my children and my extended family. I have issues that I need cleared up. I know you love me and I made some bad choices in life. I know I was the one that got disfellowshipped, but in some cases I feel let down a great deal by my extended family. When I told you how violent C*** had become, (If you don't believe this you maybe would like to see the police reports and court orders I had to get out against him just to feel safe in my own home. He has been incredibly abusive towards me, including calling me many things in front of my children(eg a prostitute and a whore) some of these things witnesses by J****.) you said nothing too this. I did not expect you to all come running, but maybe a how are you may have been appropriate. You said you would always be there for me, when I needed a little care I got nothing. The elders in a few congregations know about this and nothing was done. I find it hard to believe that an organisation that says it is built on love can take this stance, can condone the behaviour of a violent and continually abusive man and remove me, who in a huge moment of weakness does something that is totally out of her character. I was and am still incredibly sorry for what I did, if I could go back and change it I would. I still at the moment find it hard to walk into a Kingdom Hall and deal with the hostility I receive there. You may say to go to a different Hall, but I have done that in the past, before I got disfellowshipped, trying to deal with the lack of support and out right alienation we received after reporting K*****'s abuse. If this organisation is based on love, care and unity then why do I have to move around to try and find it, shouldn't it be in all the Kingdom Halls I go to. I know there are a lot of witnesses that are great and fantastic people, I still get a little support from them. Unfortunately they are the ones that are viewed of by other witnesses as weak and have asked me not to say anything as they are fearful of being disfellowshipped themselves. All I know is that in most cases disfellowshipping does more harm than good, It does not do what it is supposed to do. When one day I get reinstated I have vowed to never alienate someone who is disfellowshipped. Until you have been disfellowshipped you will never know how incredibly debilitating it is for someone's soul. I still love you all very much and look forward to the day that we can all be back together again, Love to all, Leah and the Kids. Please let me know when and where the Memorial is, if I'm feeling strong enough I will be there.
This is what I recieved from him
We read and understand everything you have written with the greatest empathy. I t must be awful to the soul to be in such a position. I truly am very sorry you are there, and always hopeful you are strong enough to make a return to where you belong. J ehovah truly loves you. His human creation imperfect and fragile as we all are. Although we would be unable to talk to you, our hearts will be overjoyed to see you there.
Well after that I resolve that I would NOT be going to the memorial and I am NEVER going back to another meeting. I'm glad I have true friends whom I can share this with. Those who truly accept me for whom I am. Leah. xoxoxo.