What do I tell my children?

by Nellie 31 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • Sunspot
    Sunspot

    Hi Nellie!

    By all means---make your decisions about what you do or don't do AS a family! How you conduct your life has absolutely nothing to do with the rulers of the WTS. Actually they couldn't care less about you on a personal level---all they demand is obedience to the rules THEY have devised.

    God doesn't give a hoot about Bobby going out for soccer this year, or Missy joining the Brownies. The WTS does.

    God doesn't change his mind every few years about what is or isn't acceptable. The WTS does.

    Please don't give the WTS any more power than they have already taken from 6 million people.

    Enjoy life, and let the kids enjoy their childhood---forget what the folks at the KH will think----if you're missing meetings anyway---they already have you labeled! And what they think doesn't really matter does it?

    Your kids will have many great experiences to look back on......many that can never be replaced if you continue raising them as JW robots. I know---I raised 5 of my own and I continually regret all the Proms, B'day parties, Christmases, etc that will never be enjoyed and all the memories they missed out on because of my stupid religion.

    Wishing you the best,

    hugs,

    Annie

  • xjw_b12
    xjw_b12

    Welcome Nellie. I don't know how indoctrinated your kids are, but how will they feel. if you stop going to the KH.

    Will they be afraid that they are going to die at Armegeddon? This may be the most difficult part of all, if they have come to equate being a JW with paradise!

  • calamityjane
    calamityjane

    I just finished reading your initial introduction to the board to get to know your circumstances, before I answered your question.

    My husband and I had stopped going to meetings. Weren't planning on going back but found it hard to let go of the jw ties. We slowly but surely shed them. It started with enrolling our kids in soccer. We had such great joy in watching our children play soccer, getting to know new friends and for us it was getting to know the parents. It was a great socializing experience for us. Then we allowed them to go out for Halloween, then came a time when we finally bit the bullet and bought an xmas tree which they woke up to the next morning, to their great surprise and excitement.

    My husband and I finally had to come to a decision, that how can we explain to our children that they couldn't participate in these activities because we use to belong to a religion that did not allow us to do it. Our children have been able to grow up normally.

    By the way, when we left our children were 15, 4 and 2 and they had no problem with this change.

    cj

  • mnb77
    mnb77

    Hey hope that first stuff helped that i posted. You might also get the children involved with another youth group (another local church that doesn't involve so much control so they can learn) and get them another copy of the bible, not the NWT. Let them explore this and what it says and not depend on the WTS to tell them what it means. this can be a beautiful learning experience. I like the NLT. it speaks in an understandable language and doesn't use tricky words to sway the meaning of what god's word says.

    Another book that I read that helped me with the different translations of the bible is "God's Word into English" by Greene (i can't remember the author's first name, sorry) it is an older book published in the 60's i think (?). here are some of the stuff i found in it that helped me:

    While some of us may be reluctant to relinquish old word and expressions which have acquired special meaning, we must bear in mind that the revision of these archaisms is a genuine attempt to be true to the Greek text (the same goal with the KJ translators had) by restoring for the modern reader the precise meaning intended.

    Reasons for New Translations:

    a. The discovery of more accurate texts in Greek and Hebrew.

    b. The continual change in the English language.

    c. Renewed emphasis on readily intelligible translators.

    d. The new information as to the meaning of Biblical Terms.

    e. Improvements in the interpretation of passages.

    More Accurate Texts:

    The King James and ASV were dependent on the available Hebrew manuscripts, all of which read (gives symbols) ?arim ?Cities? but the Bible scholars on occasion to wonder about this reading because the Assyrian kings whose conquering armies destroyed cities in Palestine did not do so because they ?despised cities.? There had to be some other explanation to account for this word. The answer was forthcoming in 1947 of in the spring of that year in Arab Bedouin discovered a cave in the cliffs overlooking the northwestern rim of the Dead Sea in

    One of the manuscripts from Cave one was a leather scroll in Hebrew containing the entire book of Isaiah. Information gained subsequent to the discovery has shown that it dates from the second or first centuries BC, just before the Roman armies swept into southern . This very early Hebrew manuscript, preserved through the centuries by the hot, dry climate of the area reads (gives symbols) ?edim ?Witnessed, treaties? in the difficult passage in Isa. 33:8. With this new variant reading available the RSV was available to improve the sense of the passage by translating, ?The highways lie was, the wayfaring man ceases. Covenant are broken, witnessing are despised, there is no regard for man.? The parallelism of the verse could be indicated even more clearly by translating, ?Covenants are broken, treaties are despised?? Ignoring the vowels, which were not indicated from the originally reading (symbols) to (Change of symbols) is easily explained.

    Renewed Emphasis on Intelligibility:

    Another important reason for revision of God?s Word is the increased demand by the common people that a translation by as intelligibility as possible. A case in point is the idiomatic phrase ?children of the bride chamber? which occurs in the KJV in Matt. 9:15, Mark 2:19, and Luke 5:34. But the expression is meaningless to (or grossly misinterpreted by) the average reader, so most of the translations made in the 20 th century have striven for intelligibility by reading ?wedding guest? or friends of the bridegroom.?

    The reader may wonder how new meaning can be given to words which were used in certain specific ways by people two thousand or more yeas ago. Actually the meanings for these Biblical terms are ancient; it is only our understanding for the meaning which is new. We came by this information through tens of thousands of written document discovered in Bible lands during the last 75 years the most important of these new sources of information have been the thousands of papyrus (ancient type of paper) fragments and scrolls ranging all the way back from love letters to grocery lists.

    Ex:

    Paul uses the adjective ataktos (I Thess. 5:14), the adverb ataktos (2 Thess. 3:6,11) and the related verb atakteo (2 Thess. 3:7). KJV and ASV translated it ?unruly, disorderly, walk or behaves disorderly.? The papyri, however, indicate the words, as paul used them, meant ?idle, idleness, be idle?. This led to the change in the RSV.

    it is neat with his perspective of the dead sea scrolls and how they improved stuff in the understanding of the bible.

    enough of my rambling, just try to get the children involved with some thing else so they don't feel that they will be destroyed or something like that. Be safe, follow God and rejoice always!

  • franklin J
    franklin J

    I have 3 children; and although I do not have the same issue as you ( my kids are not raised JW) I am always honest with them

    My advice is to "level" with them ; call a family meeting and tell them that you no longer believe it. And involve them in a search for a new faith ( if you feel it necessary). But above all else, thell them that THEY no longer have to adhere to the teachings of the JWs.

  • LongHairGal
    LongHairGal

    Nellie:

    If you were by yourself you could do a fade. But with a family in the JWs you can't fake it. You have to come out and take a stand (with your family, at least). If your children are already involved in the extra-curricular activities you mention, it is highly likely that you are talked about by the idiots in the hall. I gather from your post that you are on the fringes pretty much. You all deserve to be happy. Do what you want. Let them get their piercings, etc. BUT once they run into other JWs in town or wherever, expect a phone call from one of the nobodies in the hall inquiring as to what is happening. Should be interesting.

    Best of luck,

    LHG

  • Nellie
    Nellie

    Thanks, all of you for your responses.

    It has been about 18 months since we stopped attending meetings. So, trust me, we shouild've been marked by now! Funny thing is, with all the splitting and shifting of the congregations, I stopped feeling "at home" in the congregation about 10 years ago. Since then, even when I was there, there was no "connection" in the congregation. As we started drifting away, no one seemed to notice or care. From time to time, when we went to a meeting, someone might ask "where have you been?" - but it wasn't a sincere question it was superficial. Just recently, at the "Special Talk" - everyone was extremely friendly, no one asked a thing and you would have thought they had just seen us at the Ministry School. (I really don't know what to make of that.) It didn't feel like we had been marked - I mean we weren't invited out to lunch with anyone, but we didn't feel left out of anything either. It's not about not being wanted there, it's about me not feeling "it" anymore.

    But, back to the kids - they would love to go to birthday parties, have birthday parties, etc.

    CJ - "My husband and I finally had to come to a decision, that how can we explain to our children that they couldn't participate in these activities because we use to belong to a religion that did not allow us to do it."

    Excellent point. That's kind of where we're at about that birthday party.

    B12 - "Will they be afraid that they are going to die at Armegeddon? This may be the most difficult part of all, if they have come to equate being a JW with paradise!"

    I really don't think so. We were never big on "scare tactics" with the kids!

    LHG - But with a family in the JWs you can't fake it. You have to come out and take a stand (with your family, at least).

    I agree. If you read my orig post, you know I have one df'd sister (F) and one baptized one (D). I called my df'd sister Sat and unloaded. She understood all too well and agreed that I was going to have to come clean with (D). I did Sunday. After a few tears, she said she would always love me and that this would not change the way she felt about me. She would pray for me to find my way, whatever path it took. Personally, I think she only got baptized because after leading such a "worldly" life, she found the "truth" to be a safety net out of trouble. And she really has turned her life around - but like I always said: "You don't have to be a witness to be an upstanding member of Society with morals and character." All I kept thinking was, "If she tells an Elder about this conversation, I'm sure to be labeled an apostate." But like you said, I had to come out... We also have extended family in the truth - them I don't worry about. They've never been close.

    To all of you who suggested a family meeting - I can't agree more and thanks for your words of support. Where I sit right now, I can't ever imagine wanting to go to another organization. I just don't know how that works after being a JW. My kids are active - my eldest is graduating and making plans to go away to college! (Guess how that would've gone over!) I think THAT had alot with me being where I am now - wanting to prepare him for life at college and the reality of being a MAN. (That's another thread altogether!)

    I'll follow this up after our "talk." It'll probably be a few days before it happens. I'll ck back for more suggestions before I take this plunge. Thanks again!

    Nellie

  • jeanniebeanz
    jeanniebeanz

    Nellie,

    I feel for you. Maybe it's time for you and your hubby to just have a sitdown and assess the possible challenges that you will face in leaving the org. Once this has been accomplished, just tell the kids the truth. I was in your position, sans the hubby at the time, and just told them that I had made a huge mistake regarding the witnesses, I presented them my reasons for no longer believing it was the truth, apologized for cheating them out of all the birthdays and Christmas and promised to make it up to them. They had a couple tough questions regarding dying at Armageddon, but once I presented them with the facts I had discovered about the witnesses and the error of their beliefs on Armageddon, there have not been many issues.

    They are now free of the chains and have *all* thanked me for having the courage to leave it all behind. They are working on degrees and careers, and have plans for the future. I don't have to worry about my grandkids shunning me because my kids have no interest in the 'troot', and that makes me very, very, very happy.

    J

    (oops, had this open too long and see now that you have already responded before I posted my reply. Glad that you have come to a decision. Good luck!)

  • garybuss
    garybuss

    My wife was the religious teacher to our children, taking them to meetings and reading them Watch Tower Publications at bed time. When she quit attending Witness sponsored events and quit believing in spirit channeling corporations, she never sat the children down and de-educated them. Two of them became Witnesses and shunned us both.

  • Eyebrow2
    Eyebrow2

    Nellie:

    congrats to you, and welcome to the board! It is both exciting and scary to finally allow your self to live life to the fullest!

    I was excited and felt a little guilty when I allowed my son to start celebrating bdays when he turned 8. It was hard for him at first too, but I told him that it is important to LIVE Your beliefs. And if your beliefs actually change, than it makes sense to change the way you live your life. It was still a little ackward for a bit, but he got over it all by his second Xmas.

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