by ljwtiamb 21 Replies latest jw experiences
What has given you the greatest peace of mind?
Must one initiate their own exit or does it matter that a JC pushes an issue?
DF or DA or fade?
How much does your exit affect your time to internal resolution? Even though you may leave family behind?
There seems to be pride in some to be able to say that 'I left WTS' instead of JWs kicked me out'. Does it really matter, at all?
So whaddaya think?
honestly,
it has been over 20 years since I initiated my own exit. At the time; it was very important to me to NOT give them the satisfaction of a disfellowshipping ( no grounds; although they did try). But in hindsight, it does not matter. I let it go a long, long time ago. My life moved on to bigger and better.
I am so "disconnected" from their influence and thinking and cannot believe I was evey so "indoctrinated".
It takes time; it took me at least 3 years for the fog to lift.
good luck, if I can do it, so can you....
Frank
Faded. It is a hard pill for those who were dyed in the wool. I was.
Making alot of progress. I think it takes two years once you have determined to leave to get the mind back on track. Even harder for those [like me and wifey] who never knew anything else. Hardest part is realizing just how conditional your friendships were. Some persons turned on us like rabid dogs, even though the facts have never been known to them as to why we left. Just leaving was enough to prove we were devil-worshipers.
Glad to be out.
Jeff
Whether you fade or da yourself is up to you. There are many opinions on this board. Some say it is cowardly to fade and that you should come out and da yourself. Others say because they have family there it is best for them to fade until the time is right. It is harder to fade though because you go through the motions about something you no longer believe and it makes you sick. The real point is: are you convinced and/or resolved in your mind and heart? That is the real question.
I say do whatever is good for you. Whether you want to tell them to shove it or fade doesn't matter.
I am not afraid anymore. I live in no fear whatsoever of being destroyed. I really really live for NOW and not for eternity. Before, everything I did, (spirituality-wise) was done to not be destroyed at Armageddon and live forever. Now, I really enjoy everyday life, the little things, I aim to be good to myself and others. I am no longer a 'person in waiting'. That was my closure.
Jez
There is no closure... on a hated enemy.IMO
Although I'm not consumed by even seeking closure anymore...if the topic comes up I will expose the JW's for what they are.
Does "God" have closure with Debil da Satan?
Some things are never resolved... till the enemy is destroyed.
u/d 
(of the seek and destroy class)
What has given you the greatest peace of mind? My Children are happy and they will not have to live like I did. My freedom.
Must one initiate their own exit or does it matter that a JC pushes an issue? I will put an end to it if it gets to that point.
DF or DA or fade? Fade as of now.
How much does your exit affect your time to internal resolution? Even though you may leave family behind? Too Much because I still love my family. However I have my own children and family to worry about other than the JW's and my Family!
There seems to be pride in some to be able to say that 'I left WTS' instead of JWs kicked me out'. Does it really matter, at all? People have pride and It makes you feel better on the powerful end of it since they have been pretty much ruling all of your life. Having pride is not a bad thing but leaving the WTBS and feeling freedom and living your life who needs the exit letter or the DF'ing announcement. You are free and there is nothing better for your Pride than that. Brooke
I read CoC in late 1999 and then ISoCF by Ray Franz. CoC was my ticket out even though it took a little while longer to quit going to meetings completely.
Now it doesn't mean much either way. If they ever do want to announce that I am no longer a JW, then so be it. But if they contact me first, then I will send a DA'ing letter. I'm so far disconnected from it now that it means nothing in my life.
By the way ljwtiamb......have you read CoC yet? I remember you made a post about doing so.
HappyDad
My wife and I tried to fade; we were turned in, tried baptism nullification, and were announced as DAed.
As much as I tried to avoid DA or DF--to keep contact with my family--it was honestly a big relief when it finally happened. No more worrying about secrecy; I could be myself and not worry about anything they could do, because they had already done their worst.
A lot of faders have lost their family anyway; but it's usually not as sudden or complete as DFing or DAing.
A lot of faders have lost their family anyway; but it's usually not as sudden or complete as DFing or DAing.
Euphemism - Good point. We have faded, fairly quietly. No fear, just wishing to keep those few that still care about us as friends, and wifey has some family still living the fog. Mostly we are 'shunned' anyway. I never worry anymore about if we are found out though. If so, let it be.
Side note; I have found that when I come across a DF'd person that I know I have had the best conversations with them. It has aided in my closure too, knowing that I have dropped the self righteious bit, and just treat them as old friends.
Jeff
