I do partially blame the Watchtower Society for your situation. We were not really taught how to "pick people up". Especially women/sisters. You were supposed to be humble and meek and wait for some brother to notice you and then chose to make you his wife. And we really were not talk to think about dating. That would be selfish when we were supposed to be thinking about the kingdom! Plus if we had true faith in Jehovah, he would provide, so in the mean time we were to preach preach preach!!!
Sadly that isn't the real world.
You have a lot of good advice here. Do things with friends, get active, stay active. You are bound to meet someone. Take care of yourself and believe in yourself. If you don't, pick up a book on self confidence. If you invest in yourself, you are bound to enjoy life more and attract people to you.
When you aren't doing things active in the 'real world' maybe meet some people here on the net. I like to go into chatrooms from time to time. There are a variety of rooms for people interested in dating. Including rooms where men prefer thick women.
Listen, I feel I can really relate to your feelings. I too was brought up in the 'troof' and suffered terribly because of it. I never had a boyfriend until about 6 months ago. And like you I feel there is nothing wrong with me that I should have remained unnoticed for so long. Its difficult because from the moment you are a small child it is decided if you are going to fit in with the other kids in the cong or not. And if you don't meet the physically ideal of what a good JW girl is supposed to look like expect to be on your own. All of this is very harsh to the ego. It is hard to find something worthy about yourself when you go through your whole life remaining unnoticed.
I began finding out who I am a little less than 3 years ago. The biggest thing was developing inner confidence. Being proud of who you are and what you can do. There comes a stage in your life when you realise that your a doormat. Constantly trying to do the right thing by people, conform to what you think people of expect of you, yada yada yada. Its due to your upbringing. When you accept that you are being used you need to start saying 'screw you'. Working out what YOU want to do, not what others want you to do. Who YOU are not who others assume you are. And when you have worked through this and discovered who harpy is then you can begin developing your interests and enjoying what life has to offer.
I have always been attracted to self confident people. And it wasn't until I had self confidence that I found love and acceptance.
I'm so sorry you are going through this pain. I would love to help, just someone who understands or anything. If you ever need to talk please PM me.
