Although a JW, I never wanted to marry a JW

by JH 25 Replies latest jw friends

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  TheWord

  Also, resilience is an important quality. Do you trust yourself to be able to deal with the consquences of a 'failed relationship'? Maybe that is the real fear. Having a broken heart really hurts, and if I never commit, then I will never have to face that kind of heartbreak, right?

  Sound like words spoken from a mature female in heart. Can you have a relationship without having sex first? This was difficult for me since a person is so drawn to the other "as opposites of course", and once the feeling and sense of touch is encountered, it than becomes more difficult to learn the partners true feelings of the heart.

  I feel that it is best to gain self control, as you mentioned as knowing yourself first so to speak, than to allow a person to take advantage of the gift of God selfishly. I have learned to guard my heart and get to know a person, before I allow myself to be taken advantage of.

  word up
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  talesin

  Thank you for the complement! That was a lesson drilled into me by my therapist way back when. It took a while for me to learn how to trust my own strength and resilience to carry me through. Still learning from life every day, and hope I always will be. :D

  Well, of course you can have relationship before sex. The right time is 'when you feel comfortable with the decision to go ahead'. Period. If that means after marriage, okay. If it means after 3 months, okay. Etc. You should be choosing to share a mutually enjoyable, loving experience, and not feel that you are 'allowing someone take of advantage of you'. Oh, that is so wrong.

  Wait until you are ready, word! Don't ever let someone make you feel pressured into it. It's okay to choose 'no' until you are sure how you feel about this whole issue.

  t
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  TheWord

  Wait until you are ready, word! Don't ever let someone make you feel pressured into it. It's okay to choose 'no' until you are sure how you feel about this whole issue.

  When is one ready? I feel that a true test of loving compassion is to have the same feelings after you engage in sexual relations. If you can jump into another persons arms, one after the other, then you truly are not in love. I prefer to find love, before I have sex. Anyway, thank you for sharing your inner self with me.

  word up
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  Frog

  Tooshe' Rat...I was exactly the same, at the time when I was in the faith I was to a degree convinced in the doctrine, but was never attracted to witness men, and the idea of marrying one never camed naturally to me...so I guess that's why I didn't, and was always getting myself into trouble!
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  boy@crossroads

  While there may have been girls I was attracted to or flirted with, I don't think i would have married one. I don't believe i would be happy with someone who must go along with the status quo. I never saw myself doing the traditional jw life; service every saturday, meetings every sunday, and being an elder was definitely out of the question.

  I think even at a young age I knew that I would someday leave. I was just too damn curious.
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  diamondblue1974

  Like Es I got married too young and to a JW girl and likewise it was a mistake; whilst it didnt work out it was a time of my life when I learned a great deal and its a mistake I dont regret in the slightest.

  My experience is now more broadened and I have realised that my personality does not suit the JW's or JW women; if only I had learned then what I know now.