How do I tell my Mum something worse than 'I don't believe it's the Truth'?

by nicolaou 13 Replies latest social family

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  nicolaou

  Having the short "It's not the Truth" conversation with my Mum was painful enough and the after-effects are horrible. A sort of 'tactful' wall went up between the two of us - I hate it. I can sense that my Mum gently shepherds my kid brother (18) towards his sisters ('Elders wives') rather than have him spend time with me. It's hurting us both.

  The thing is, I've only tried to be honest with my Mum and whenever she has asked questions concerning my faith I've always told her what I truly believe. I think she at least respected how I always tried to stick to what the Bible said and when I tried to show her the error of Watchtower doctrine I only ever did it from scripture. As you can imagine, we haven't had any of these conversations for a long, long time.

  Long enough in fact for me to have lost my faith in God and the Bible. How will I ever tell her that?!!
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  tetrapod.sapien

  i went through something similar with my mom. i am not saying you sound like an atheist, but it was personally easier for me to tell my mom that i was an atheist than to tell her i thought the WTBTS was full of crapola. i think it may have been easier for me because by then i knew how much the dub's worship the GB. it was almost like i could see that the org was more precious to her than god. sick.
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  nicolaou

  Good point t.s

  The thing is my Mum was always religious. Even before she joined the Watchtower she was active in her local Greek Orthodox church. God is very real and very important to her. Knowing that I have left his 'organization' is bad enough for her but to think that I had abandoned God himself would break her heart.
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  JamesThomas

  Dear Nicolaou,

  What I am about to share -- though very much related in some ways to your dilemma -- may not be what you are after, but here goes anyway.

  I too lost faith and trust in the Bible and the god presented therein; not because I forfeited the wonder and awe of something great from which all arises, but rather because of a heightened sensitivity to this. In other words: it became obvious to me that the Bible-god was way too small, limited and moronic to be responsible for anything as wondrously beautiful and infinite as the universe and the expression of life within it.

  For me, abandoning the Bible and the interpretations of God I was raised with, were some of the first steps in actually honoring God. Letting go of diminutive and manlike ideas of a god, a step in coming to sense what truly has no beginning or end.

  Now, how this is going to help you, I can't say. It may help to really look deep within and become very clear as to why you have "lost faith in God and the Bible". Some times the innate wisdom of the heart is ahead of the mind on this one, and we just can not articulate. We just know we can no longer do as we have done.

  Be honest and true to yourself; be present, kind and gentle with your inner feelings; meet with them and befriend them. In doing so, you likely will find clarity, and you will know what to say to your mother.

  Good luck to you.

  j
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  pseudoxristos

  Why tell her?

  pseudo
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  ChrisVance

  JamesThomas: what you say reminds me of what my x-brother-in-law was fond of saying:

  In other words: it became obvious to me that the Bible-god was way too small, limited and moronic to be responsible for anything as wondrously beautiful and infinite as the universe and the expression of life within it.

  "My god box is bigger than that," speaking of the dubs.

  I'm an atheists but if you must believe in god, may your god box be big.
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  JW83

  Being an agnostic is also an easier way out - acknowledging that there probably is something, but you don't have the concrete details ...

  Maybe you can talk about spirituality with your mum, rather than God?
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  JamesThomas

  Chris,

  Perhaps, there is something very special in what the word "God" points to , in that, It, is the one thing (which is not a thing), which can not be put in a box (as everything else can).

  j
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  frankiespeakin

  Nic,

  I hope everything turns out alright with your mother,,I know you really love her and I think your love for her will find the right words to say,,I think it will just come out of you naturally what to say.

  JT,

  I think that say it all,,thanks I got such a rush reading it, and I'm sure it will help Nic.
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  curlygirl

  JamesThomas---

  I don't know if what you said helped Nicolaou but, it helped me immensely. You've articulated EXACTLY what I've been trying to find the words to do for years. Thank you.

  Curlygirl