Well, my SIL and best friend came to this site on my recommendation (JW). I just wanted her to check it out without judgement as we have always been able to talk about everything. She basically was disgusted, said it was full of crap and lies and would never look at it again. (After reading it for about 5 hours). That was fine with me, but the more she thought about it and prayed, she decided that it would be best for her to step back from our relationship, seeing 'the direction' I am taking in my life.
I couldn't do it. I could not let her leave me. I love her so much and we have been best friends since childhood. So, I did the unthinkable. I promised her finally that I would get reinstated...for her...for no other reason than her. She agreed that she was ok with that, that there was no other strings attached and what I did afterwards would be my decision. SO, I started going to meetings again, as you all know.
Well, it has been almost 2 months of meetings attendance for me, and what I did not know what that she stayed on this site, and looked for me until she found me. She found me. Now that she has, she read all my old posts and has decided that no longer is it important that I go to meetings to get reinstated because 'that is not who I am'. She was surprised that I was so angry and bitter towards the WTBS and while she does not care if I have my own beliefs, she is not sure that I will keep them to myself. She is worried that I will try to sway her or her children.
I am angry and bitter. I am shocked at the things I have learned. I am tired and feel betrayed. I walked through those doors for HER, going on her word that it was enough. My husband warned me that it would not be enough, and he was right. She says that she did not have all the facts and feels like she does not know me now. She KNEW how hard it was for me to do this! That to sit there was like being remorseful, sorry, whatever, for getting out of a 14 year abusive marriage, when I am only proud of myself and so happy with the decisions I have made in my life. I was treated horribly, my ex was only publically reproved even tho he was arrested and I was df'ed for marrying my husband. She knows more than anyone in the world about my life.....yet she can do this....I am stunned!
Just because I no longer believe all that the WT says, or that I am hurt and angry at the injustice of it all and that I do not feel that they follow the bible as Jesus would have wanted, does not make me a different person. I am still fun-loving, risky, spiritual, loving, family-oriented, kind, intelligent, etc...all the fundemental things about me have NOT changed. I have become wiser and now, in the process, I have lost the one person that meant so so much to me. Very painful time, yet again. The world is so so normal. People in other families don't have to be the same religion and guess what, they are not afraid that the ones that are NOT of the same faith will 'sway' their or their childrens thinking. Why can't ppl just be happy that family is at least spiritual? Why does it matter SO much that they are not all JW's? I am boggled that she would go to this extreme. She will attribute it to God's will, that she prayed and this is her answer. Maybe it is God's will that my brother is no longer a witness and most of my family is not either. I don't care what they are-but she does-and I no longer am a worthy friend.
Crushed, Jez