Quotes: She doesn't care about doctrinal inconsistencies. She knows that there is alot of them, there are things that she admits that she does not agree with, but she doesn't care. She still thinks it is the truth. She doesn't believe that only JWs will survive Armageddon. To me, she doesn't really seem like a Witness, not like the gung-ho one I was anyways. She even admits that. I don't understand this, but I am very very tired of the imbalance of power in the relationship. She has always had 'grounds' to shun me, and pull the rug from under my feet, it has always been an underlying current between us. I just never thought she would do it. I wanted to get reinstated to balance things up between us, to ease her conscience, to move forward minus religion but perhaps I was kidding myself.
She had me where she wanted me. I was on the move towards reinstatement. If she believes in the thought that if Armageddon comes and all df'ed ones are automatically killed, then would she not want me to keep going, just to "potentially" save my soul? What kind of a friend would pull out NOW, when I am at least THERE? Does she not think there is a chance that me listening to Gods organization and all of its teachings and being in the KH, where God's holy spirit is, that I will change? Would she not hold out in the hope that I would "come around"? Just me getting reinstated would be a start for her? Would it not? What kind of a friend clicks into self perservation mode and thinks only of what is good for HER? It is the ultimate selfishness and I am shocked. If she thinks that this really is the truth, she would be thrilled that I have finally complied and that I am THERE at the meetings, listening, associating, in the midst, regardless of my current thoughts, regardless of everything!!!
If she believes that my eternal salvation is at stake here, how could she jepordize me going back to meetings? I asked nothing of her, only for her to be there for me if I needed her during this time, she can't even give me that.
wow. Jez
