When you finally came to the JW meeting that you knew was your last one, what were your thoughts, feelings or actions?
My last was the summer convent of 1986. I stood there until everyone left and then I took a picture with my new camera of the empty stadium, the wish being that the WTS would collapse and never fill up again stadiums with people.
Last JW meeting
by greendawn 24 Replies latest watchtower beliefs
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greendawn
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purplesofa
The last meeting I went to, I just looked around and to myself, silently said my good-byes to different ones. reflected back on things we had done together.
And I also thought about the people that I did not see at the meeting and wondered about them, why there were not coming anymore, if they figured it all out as I did. Are they coming back?
Also, the speaker was so bad, a PO from the congo I came into the truth in 20 years ago, it was a talk on entertainment and it was so rigid and judgemental and just plain crazy, I knew why all his kids were not in the truth.
purps
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luna2
I faded so slowly, that I wasn't aware that my last meeting was for sure going to be my last. Still thought I might "pull it together" and go back someday. All I knew, was that on that Sunday, I couldn't concentrate any more. The words from the podium barely made sense and I was daydreaming throughout the whole thing. As I slipped out the little side door in the overflow room while everybody was singing in the break between the public talk and the Watchtower study, all I could think of was getting out of the stifling air of the Hall without being stopped and taken on a guilt trip by any of the happy friends. LOL
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tweety
Hello greendawn,
My last was the summer convent of 1986. I stood there until everyone left and then I took a picture with my new camera of the empty stadium, the wish being that the WTS would collapse and never fill up again stadiums with people.
I think that your wish will come true someday!
Dee
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Joyzabel
funny I don't remember my last meeting now.
I remember in March of 2001 when I gave my last student talk that it was my last. Somehow I knew I would never be doing that again. It wasn't until the next month that I read CoC, began becoming "weak", "irregular" etc and missed so many meetings do to work or family health problems. I too would sit there and wonder what happened to others who were no longer attending, did they wake up like I did!
At the time I was trying to fade and not get caught because of the mind-control. If I was quiet and good, and hoped they would leave me alone. Now I wish I would have been more vocal about the falsehoods in the organization, the cult-like behavior. I would drop hints but now since I feel I've deprogrammed to the point that I would have done things differently to help wake others up.
*shrugs* I've found that people that don't want to wake up, won't. No matter how much you love them and wish they had their freedom. Lots of people are attracted to that religion for a reason. Its a nice comfortable box to not have to think.
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evita
I was about 22. The year was 1981 I think.
I had been fading for about a year and I was a real emotional mess.
My worldly boyfriend broke up with me. My mom was shunning me.
I was living alone for the first time. I lost a lot of weight and cut my hair short as a boy.
So.... decided to go to the convention to see if I needed to go back.
Drove from Santa Rosa to the Oakland Coliseum alone and I sat alone.
By the end of day I knew I could never go back. It was over.
I remember feeling some sadness as I listened to the singing.
Then, driving home I felt relief and freedom.
Evi -
Hecklerboy
I was at a Ciruit Assembly. Halfway through the morning session a started looking around at people and thought to myself "What am I doing here?". I got up and walked out in the middle of the program. Never went back after that. I can still picture it in my head today. It was a beautiful sunny day when I walked out. I rememeber taking a deep breath of fresh air and smiling as I walked to my truck. The feeling of freedom was amazing. I took the rest of the day to visit with my mother.
PS. I was in a different curcuit than my mother so my family didn't attend the same CA as I did.
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Emma
I can't remember why my daughter and I decided to go to "one last meeting" but I know not too far into it we felt like we had to escape. The "ministry school" wasn't too bad, but during the service meeting one of the most lying, self-rightesous elders got up and patted his own back and lied so blatently that she and I just looked at each other with wide eyes. We agreed that as soon as the amen was said to the last prayer we'd escape out the back door.
For some reason it truly felt like we had to get out or get caught; I don't know what the fear was from. We raced out of the parking lot knowing that neither of us would ever walk through the door again. The sense of freedom and lightness was nearly palpable.
Emma
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blondie
A circuit assembly where
Non-JW = corpses
Elephants conditioned from early age to be chained to post and not leave even when strong enough
A shiny quarter is better than a dirty old penny
Never been back
Blondie
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nicolaou
Very interesting topic. I don't remember my last meeting but I do remember something else that happened to me a couple of years back...
My job took me to a residential part of town that I would never normally have any reason to go to. I had to go to a specific address. I found it quite easily and parked the car about twenty yards from the customers home. I had a sense of deja vu - but an unpleasant and rather disturbing one.
I took a good look around me. I didn't know anyone who lived anywhere near here, I'd never been here before........had I? I walked up the street towards my appointment not being able to shake off this unsettling feeling that was really taking hold of me. What the hell did this street mean to me?!! Then it happened. The event had registered because I'd been with my wife at the time and even though it had happened 3 years and 11 months previously it was a particularly upsetting time for both of us.
I reached the house I was due to visit and, before knocking, I turned in the direction of my parked car and looked straight at a property on the other side of the road. That was it. That was the one. The last house I'd ever called at as a JW.