They have screwed-up ideas about forgiveness

LongHairGal

This was another issue I had with them. No matter what someone did, no matter how bad and even if the person was DFd and came back some would welcome them with open arms. It was almost as if they were being rewarded for their wrongdoing. You never knew who you were sitting next to because they could have done anything - you name it.

Now I am not talking about the run of the mill things like immorality because this is a private thing. I am referring to horrible things they did to other people. There are some things I could never forgive somebody for. For instance, if somebody molested my child I could never forgive them. I know it is not healthy to be consumed with hate but it would be up to my child to forgive them when they were old enough.

There were other horrible things I heard of such as brothers defrauding other brothers - out and out dishonesty. These people do not expect actual punishment. Disfellowshipping doesn't mean anything to them. They feign forgiveness and come back. No big deal. They obviously do not fear the true god or else they would not do these things in the first place. They must think the whole thing is a load of nonsense and everybody there is a bunch of suckers.

There is an unaccountability that runs through the whole thing from top to bottom.

FairMind

Basically a person will be forgiven for just about anything except seriously questioning the organization or any of the bosses (elders, COs, DOs, etc.). I believe in forgiveness too, when the sinner is truly repentant but I don't think this what you are talking about.

LongHairGal

Fairmind:

I know the statement I made is ambiguous so let me try and clarify what I think I mean. I understand that people can be truly repentant and I know that we all can and do wrong sometimes. What I am saying is that the whole situation there (from soup to nuts) lends itself to the "sheep" being more gullible and vulnerable and certain really predatory people in a great position to hurt people. For example, they told everybody to widen out. Well, what if you are widening out to a con artist? I met a few of them.
When and if that person hurts anybody and even if that person is DFd he can still come back and expect to be welcomed and fit for the preaching work. You are expected to be civil to this person. Even if Jehovah (as some will say) deals with him later, that doesn't protect anybody now.

There is too much victimization on all levels there.

Ellie

Back in 1996 when I studied for a short time there was this girl in the congregation who got pregnant by her boyfriend, she was only about 16 and I remember thinking she was brave and thought she had done the right thing by keeping the baby, it would have been easier for her to have an abortion and hush it all up so no one would judge her, or keep away from the kingdom hall so she wouldn't have to face everyone but the sister I studied with was absolutely appalled that she had the nerve to turn up at the meetings and didn't mind who she shared this view with.

I think that was the main reason why I stopped my study, I just couldn't believe that someone who was supposed to be christian and forgiving could think that this young pregnant girl should be thrown out of the congregation and ignored by everyone she knew just because she had gotten pregnant.

Bumble Bee

Ellie, I know what you mean.

I remember when my mom brought her great neice to the KH. Her mother had her out of wedlock (do people still use that term now??? lol).

One old busy body was so upset! How dare she bring a "bastard" child into the KH? This was a baby for pete's sake, innocent of any wrongdoing! How can people think the way they do, what love was shown to that innocent child? How can you say such things and call yourself a christian. My mom knew she had a problem with it and confronted her outside the hall. She didn't have too much to say for herself when confronted. (and to top it off, the child in question was this busy bodies great grand child)

BB

tetrapod.sapien

it's weird that they forgive child molesters, but not those who question their authority as Joe Hoba's earthly good-old-boy network.

love2Bworldly

I am sickened by people who are judgemental toward single women who have babies. (I used to be guilty of it myself as a JW, I'm very sorry to admit.) So many millions of men are also guilty of 'sex outside of marriage'--yet only the women who become pregnant are the ones who are the scapegoats.

Ellie

There is no kindness or love with these people.

My whole family are witness', so to keep them happy I decided to have another study last year but it was so boring that I told them very politely that its not for me.

Since then (Nov 04) not one member of my family has spoken to me, they have not bothered with my 2 year old daughter, I'm 7 months pregnant now and I would love for my mum or sister or any of my family to just say congratulations or just show some interest but they won't even say hello when I pass them in the street.

I think its a very cold religion, there is definately no love or compassion there.

LongHairGal

Tetrapodsapien:

Your post is more in line with what I was getting at. There is a selective forgiveness depending on what you did. Of course, criticizing them was the biggest no-no.

They are definitely more forgiving towards men regardless of what they did.

But I am of the opinion that there is no protection there for the average person against predatory types of individuals.

Ellie

I don't know how true it is, but I did hear a rumour that in my town in the 90s there was a brother who used the service to see who was at home and who wasn't, if no one was home he would break in.

I imagine he was a trusted member of the congregation.

They have screwed-up ideas about forgiveness

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