They have screwed-up ideas about forgiveness (page 2)

vitty

Thank god Joseph didnt shun Mary!!!!! But actually kept it quiet and treated Jesus as his own. Is there a lesson for us.

Stop judging,!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I believe in forgiving, SOLVING THE FREAKIN PROBLEM, then, I don't really think forgetting is healthy. I do believe in allowing them to have a new start but the person did what they did for a reason. Figure out that reason and use that to judge if that person will probably do another one of those things. But forgetting is always a good option in some cases.

rebel8

There are some things I could never forgive somebody for. For instance, if somebody molested my child I could never forgive them. I know it is not healthy to be consumed with hate but it would be up to my child to forgive them when they were old enough.

I agree. I've always felt having a practice of forgiving anything shows only a lack of disrespect for oneself and is not a sign of "spirituality". There are some things people can do that are unforgiveable, and I think people who forgive them are nuts. JMHO

The same old tired song and dance that people do is that "forgiving is divine" and "holding a grudge hurts you more than it hurts them". Blah. Surely, The Divine (if there is one and he/she is all-good) would want us to have a smidge of self respect. And who says the only choices are to forgive OR hold a grudge? How about accepting what happened and moving on with your life, without forgiving? Acceptance does not=forgiveness. Acceptance is something you do for your own mental well-being, forgiveness is something you do for the wrongdoer and/or to please a diety.

Bumble Bee

Ellie,

I'm so sorry that your family is treating you that way. How sad for them to miss out on their grandchildren/neices or nephews. I hope they come to their senses when your child is born. Even though I'm not family, I wish you - CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!

Daunt,

You are right, for your own mental health, it is best to forgive the person, but you do not have to forget. Sometimes you can never forget.

BB

Ellie

thanks Bumble Bee

A Paduan

There were other horrible things I heard of such as brothers defrauding other brothers - out and out dishonesty. These people do not expect actual punishment. Disfellowshipping doesn't mean anything to them. They feign forgiveness and come back. No big deal. They obviously do not fear the true god or else they would not do these things in the first place.

Man made rules make for an attrite repentance - sorry for loss / fear of punishment.

It is a contrite heart that is sorry for the harm done, regardless of punishment.

Tis a strange exchange that occurs at the kh

Beachbender

Congratulations from me to Ellie!

These people just have not understood the complete teachings of Jesus is my opinion. I too lived through this experience as a young teenager, family, friends......... nothing. You would have thought I was the harlot herself!!!

But it was ok, that my folks lied and did devious things to claim this child from me, true Christians. Forgive, maybe, I have somewhat through the years, but forget?! You have my sympathies.

what_Truth?

I remember when I made my fiance, a young United Pennicostal, pregnant. The pastor refused to conduct the service unless I was baptized in his church. A JW aunt of mine was all up in arms about this saying how bad false religion was etc. Finally i just said "Look, if you think this is bad tell me what would happen if she was a Jehovah's Witness. She would either be disfellowshipped from all her family or friends. Or she would have to dump me to prove her 'repentance' and end up a single mom. Not getting an elder to marry us would be the least of our worries."

In the end, we found another Pennicostal pastor to marry us. My wife was welcomed back to the church with open arms (as am I on the rare occasions that I actualy go). Nobody looked down on her or cut her off for her sin, in fact the same pastor who refused to marry us sent us both a wedding gift and a baby shower present. Could you imagine a PO doing this under a similar circumstance?

They have screwed-up ideas about forgiveness

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