Ex's Who Can't Abide Ex's

by Englishman 13 Replies latest jw friends

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  MegaDude

  Different strokes for different folks, Mike.

  Some people deal with bad experiences by trying to erase them from their consciousness. They don't want any reminders. It follows a certain bit of wisdom I heard once that "If it's worth feeling bad about, it's worthy of amnesia.

  That path is not for me. I'd rather process the bad experience than try to amnesia it. I'm not implying my path is better for everyone, but only better for me. I've learned some very good insights on this board and that wisdom is changing my life for the better. I find it meaningful to be able to lend a helping hand to those on their way out. And as a student of life, I find it highly interesting to hear different people's experiences and what they are doing.
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  rebel8

  It's fine to want nothing to do with people who remind you of your painful past. It's not fine to criticize those who do want to gain support from others who had a similar experience. To each, his own.
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  Brymichmom

  I think that a lot of Ex JW's still have anxieties about being with other Ex JW's. When we were still in the organization, we heard nothing but bad things about the DF'd, the DA'd etc....Somehow I think it carries over into their life after the WT.

  Then there is a 2nd type of Ex JW, that I call the "angry Ex JW". I've seen them full of hatred and they are totally maladjusted as people. They want nothing to do with Ex JW's and accuse people like us of not "moving on" and living in the past.

  The 3rd type of Ex JW (the fade aways) doesn't want to be seen with other Ex JW's because they are in hiding because of their JW families. They are so afraid that if their families saw them associating with other Ex's that they would lose their families.

  But seriously, I think it's very good for Ex's to get together with other Ex JW's and whether they are commiserating about the past or just laughing about it, that can be a very healing thing.
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  ivy

  If you had asked me 10 years ago, 5 years ago, or even one year ago if I would ever be interested in a forum like this, I would have said no. I didn't know any other exJWs, and I didn't really want to discuss the issue. I was too busy getting on with my life. But it caught up with me. I'm just thankful that this place exits, because it is truly needed.