Annie, thanks for the word.
My underlying advice to all this is that social workers and family courts are pure hell, don't expect any justice or real help there.
All you can do is learn the system's rules and kiss ass.
If the gringgojj family situation is at all complicated as it sounds, they are at odds with everything around them. He says he doesn't want to mess with the courts which tells me they haven't had much luck in that regard, either due to their own actions, the ineptitude of the system, or a little of both.
To gringgojj, good luck. PM me with details if you are willing.