by fairchild 31 Replies latest jw friends
Fairchild
I hear you, exactly. Here's what to remember. You feel like you failed somewhere along the road but you've failed nothing, you are still on the road. You are still making your way, and staying the course. You are obviously a smart person. Wherever that intelligence of yours takes you, go Chris; go with all your heart. That is success. Don't let them steal your spiritually.
Annie, I hear you on not having to read scriptures on someone else's schedule, and looking back now, i do think that trying to be a good sheep in the GB's organization has killed some of my spirituality. I remember one particular year where I really had to work and couldn't make it to the memorial. My boss had just had surgery and was in the hospital. I was the only one who could replace him in the particular position he worked in, as nobody else was trained to do such. It was either me working that night or shutting the business down for the night. My boss could by no means afford to have his business shut down for a night, so I didn't have a choice but to work, it seemed like the right thing to do. But the JW I was getting my bible study from obviously expected me to shut down the business and come to the memorial. When I said that I really couldn't do that, she said that I chose loyalty to my boss over loyalty to Jehovah. This really made me feel bad beyond words and to this day I still can't forget about it. This was probably the beginning of the end of feeling close to God for me.
rebel8, I ate the bread in secret. I dipped it in a bit of wine at home and then wrapped it in a napkin which I put in my pocket. When I put it in my mouth without anyone noticing it, all of a sudden I could SMELL the bread in my mouth, it was pretty embarrassing. As for being happy, I probably should have expressed myself more clear. I am a happy person, always have been, no matter what, but I am not happiER because I don't hang out with the JWs anymore.
Tammy, life's a long road of learning, and I try to learn as much as I can. You never know where it will lead to.
Lyineyes, Unfortunately, a void will never be filled and become the same as it was before. Think of your life as a wall, built out of tiles. When a tile breaks, we can replace it with another tile, but it won't be the same one. The new tile can be a lot nicer that the one which was there before, but on the other hand, it could also be that we miss the old tile so much (even if it was damaged), we might not be able to accept the new one. I am glad that you found things, leading to real happiness. To be honest, I don't think that there is any real happiness to be found within the JW religion, as it is more of a life filled with guilt. No matter how much one does for the org, it is never enough.
AlanF, I measure with my mind. We probably all do. 1-3 years is reasonable.
JAVA, are we ever truly free? The seeds planted in our minds seem like mint in the garden. Once you plant it, you can't get rid of it because it keeps coming back. It will go away when winter puts its snow over it, but as soon as the sun of springtime shines, it will be the first thing to pop up again.
But there is great comfort in knowing there is a brother and sisterhood of people here that truely understand. That's a blessing we all share
so true..
Narkissos, salut! One of the many good things of being on the JWD board is that I have a friend in France now. Hehe.
Branda,
Any how, you are a Jedi in a remarkable short time, I hope you enjoyed beeing here as much as we did ...
lol, that's because I spend too much time on JWD while I should be doing other things.
That is something you could expect: once joining this forum, you got so much information
Silly me, when I joined this forum, even though I had been lurking before joining, I thought that there was an equal amount of JWs and ex JWs on this board. I posted that original post, hoping to get some support from the JWs on this board. Heh, look at me now, lol.
Liberty, I have studied a lot over the years, looked at the different religions, where they came from, how they worked, etc.. we will never know enough, but it doesn't hurt to keep reading and studying!
es,
heheh bringing your own bread to the memorial good on you!! esHeh, the decision to do this came after reading some posts on the board and realizing that not partaking was not what Jesus had taught us. AlmostAtheist,
I'm just a fellow traveler with the trees and the squirrels, enjoying the ride while it lasts.And one who makes me smile, or even laugh out loud. Every time I think about the FAQs on your bentinel site, I start laughing again, true story. It was the very funniest. As for checking out other churches, I am planning on. I actually met a priest recently who invited me to come to his church, I might do just that. swiftbreeze,
i went to church and that didnt feel exactly right but there is a minister i listen to from time to time and i like his sermon he uses the bible and when he doesnt understand something he says that he doesnt understand it or he'll say that he's using his opinion and i can respect that.That is really cool.
The thing that bothers me now is when i look back on my life and i see how ignorant i was. I must have hurt alot of people because i was so indifferent. Thats because as jw's everyone that isnt one is considered to be walking dead.Don't feel bad, you did what you thought was the right thing. At least now you know better and you have a chance to really love and leave the fake stuff behind you.
Hi IP-SEC, I miss seeing you around in the thread killer, we sure killed that one, didn't we? *grin* Oh, and you seem to be getting younger all the time. I remember your age saying 92 or something a couple of months ago. Back then I thought my gosh, that old guy has a computer and is on line, good for him. lol.
Anyway, thank you for your words of wisdom, I will take them to heart.
I'm truly flattered you noticed me Long live the thread killer... um well lived the thread killer.
Youth is wasted on the young... I glad I got a second chance at youth!!!
Youth is wasted on the young... I glad I got a second chance at youth!!!
Haha, sure you are. Give me some of that get-younger-potion, would you? One of my co-workers told me today that I'm aging 'gracefully'. That really ticked me off, because it means that people think that I'm getting old.
Chris:
My brain popped in 2002 over the abuse scandal; that got me reading and the rest is history. I have had NO problem with missing meetings; i hated them anyway they were so boring, controlled and uninformative.
I miss the fellowship, friends; I had a decent group of friends. The problems is: if you slow down or stop going to meetings, they are not your friends any more. They judge you, even if they don't come out and say anything. You know, that look when you do show up.
I came to realize that the STRONG sense of community had part of it's roots in an unreality. We were part of a tiny little group that were going to survive a global holocaust!! JUST US! Of course we were close to each other. Problem is: it isn't real, and never was.
I am unsure about my beliefs, but have learned that it is not a big deal. Our brains are programmed to PANIC when we don't just KNOW that God speaks through the org, but we get over it. And I found that if I just pray and don't overthink it, I always feel better.
I think that the discomfort you feel might be that deep down you never believed it, and your brain was trying to tell you something. That was true for me. I have lots of questions now, but the "truth" is not one of them
HANG IN THERE!!!
pistoff, I like your name! That 'look' when you do show up.. oh yes, I remember that 'look' from the memorial this year. As for the friends, it is one thing I have a hard time with. I don't believe for a single second that God doesn't approve of friendships between JWs and non JWs or ex JWs. I understand that they are trying to remain loyal to Jehovah, but being a friend to someone who has wandered off to try out a different road in life is a noble thing and there can't possibly be anything wrong with that. It makes me mad sometimes. Although most of my 'friends' were JWs, I never gave up my friendships with people who were not in the org, because I really didn't think it was wrong to hang out with my 'worldly' friends, they are all good people.
Interesting concept of "the truth shall set you free". Most "true believers" claim they have the truth and are free. So Alan will say his "turth" has set him free and another "truth" will set someone else "free". Ultimately, you will have to find your own "truth" and free yourself from the angst of uncertainty.
I wish you well, my friend.
carmel
JAVA, are we ever truly free? The seeds planted in our minds seem like mint in the garden. Once you plant it, you can't get rid of it because it keeps coming back.
I believe we can become truly free in time if that's our goal. That doesn't mean we forget, because our history will always be our history. However, our past doesn?t need to be an out-of-control garden, because we can influence and control the thoughts from our past. You've been on this journey for 6 months and it will be interesting to see your next post on this topic 6 months from today. I think you'll see and feel the difference.
Happy gardening. :)
Carmel,
Most "true believers" claim they have the truth and are free. So Alan will say his "turth" has set him free and another "truth" will set someone else "free".
So true. It is with freedom as with so many other concepts, there is no established definition which applies to every person. It is a matter of personal perception. I am not free (in several aspects of life, not just religion). Perhaps we are bron with it, just like we are born with blue or brown eyes.
JAVA, interesting thoughts. The garden of my -or anyone else's- past will never be weed free, but it's a matter of not looking back and staring at the weeds I think. I am hoping to find what I'm looking for 6 months from now, and at this point in time, I am looking for several things, including my spirituality.
