i have to hate them

joelbear

i'm sorry i only seem to come here when i need something. hopefully i've given something to someone here over the years. i know i've taken plenty.

i had to come here, the only place where i can say what i have on my mind and know that people will understand.

i took an overdose of medication on monday. my long battle with anxiety and depression that is well chronicled on these pages got the best of me once again. i was taken to the hospital and then admitted for treatment at a psychiatric hospital for 4 days. they put me on a new medication. so far so good i guess, too early to tell.

how can you explain to someone how it feels to have your life ripped away from you by a book publishing company?

i hate them so much for what they are able to do to people.

i have friends taking care of me this weekend. whatever doesn't kill us makes us stronger? i guess time will tell.

i can only point the hate inward or outward. its been 17 years, its intensifying not decreasing with time.

cruzanheart

joelbear, good to hear from you! I'm sorry you're having such a hard time, but I'm glad you're getting help. Keep up with your meds and therapy and you WILL beat this thing. Sometimes it has to get worse before it gets better. Our 9-year-old is struggling with depression right now and he doesn't want to talk about it because it hurts (his grandparents' deaths and the death of our old dog last year). We told him that it will hurt until he talks it out and gets it resolved.

Hang in there, my friend!

Nina

wiegel

Joel - I am so sorry to hear about your rough times. Please take care of yourself and know that you are loved - you can PM me any time, I DO KNOW what you are going through, as do many of those on this board. We are your friends and we are here for you. You won't be shunned or kicked to the curb here just because you're livin' life. Hang in there!!!

trudy

kls

Joelbear,the best way to get back at the cult is to live the best life you can and live it to your fullest. I am sorry you are going through so much and i am so happy you are here to talk about it and getting the help you need but don't let the cult keep taking your life away and destroying you . Fight back with your voice or your hate against the cult instead of letting it destroy you by doing something to help others so they can learn from you . Please don't let the wt win ,you are to precious of a person to let the cult take you because of their sick minds . Fight back!

MerryMagdalene

I'm glad you came back here, joelbear...you give just by being here and sharing your feelings with us and allowing us to care ((( ))) With the help you are getting you can pull through this and make it to the other side. I'll be thinking of you...

~Merry

hubert

Joelbear, Sorry to hear you are having a tough time dealing with the past as regards to the Watchtower. I have never been one, so I am not as qualified to give advice on it.

However, remember that you are not the only one in your situation. I think there are thousands in close to the same predicament as you are, so you are not alone. Coming here is a good idea, as you know these people have the same problems dealing with it, also, and they all help each other with their situations because of it.

Maybe you can get some comfort in the fact that you are not alone. But, maybe you should try to forget about the past, and go on with your life,and try to make it more happy and productive.

I don't know if I gave you any good advice. I hope I helped you. This is all I can do. I really hope you can deal with this, and come out on top of it.

Sincerely,

Hubert

MerryMagdalene

p.s.--joelbear, here's my ode to the WTS publishing company (sounds like you can identify):

Liars and Fools

There's no wisdom among fools
There's no honor among thieves
I've heard it said, baby
And now I do believe
There's no honor
Among liars and fools

They took away our passion
They took away our pride
They took the keys to paradise
To keep us locked outside
But they're liars
Liars and fools

And there's no honor among thieves
No wisdom among fools
There's no believing liars
Who break all their own rules
And there's nothing
That they can do

To salvage their own dignity
To save what they have lost
To make things right with everyone
Would be too high a cost
So they keep on lyin'
But we're not fooled

There's no wisdom in their folly
There's no honor in their gain
There's no pride without integrity
No passion without pain
And there's nothing
For liars and fools

There's no heavenly reward
And no one get's a free ride
There's no paradise beyond
All we have is what's inside
And no one
Can ever take that away

So don't be taken in by thieves
And don't be fooled by schemes
Don't let the uninspired
Deprive you of your dreams
The're just liars
Liars and fools

Love, Merry

Joyzabel

hey ((((joelbear)))) sorry life socked you in the gut again.

It always seems to hit when we deal with our family. The hurt that keeps going on because of a publishing company is just terrible. And you can't just "get over it" because it is not that simple.

Please keep doing what you are doing. You'll find your way.

Hugs,

Joy

ps Merry, wonderful ditty, love it.

upside/down

The best revenge.... is to live well!

"Revenge is sweet!"... and it's a "Godly" quality.

u/d (of the hangin in there too class)

notperfectyet

Hi Joelbear,

I was watching a Bonanza marathon yesterday and thought of you, how weird is that?

Nice to hear from you, hang in there, we have only one life to live.

( sorry, I have been depressed too, and I guess I watch too much tv.)

i have to hate them

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