JWs And Ex-JWs--Do You Struggle With Depression Because You Were A JW? (page 4)

Samuel Thorsen

Min

Dont tell anyone.

Most Suicidal JWs stops reporting service before they comitt suicide. Very good for the WTS. Proves the danger of not doing service..

talesin

Samuel T.

Thanks, that was a good example of how statistical surveys can easily be manipulated.

Believe nothing you read .... so true!

t

In early 2000, I became so depressed as a JW that I remember taking a week's vacation from work and not getting out of bed for three days. I don't think I ate for five days. I didn't want to die, but I didn't want to live either. There was no joy in my life at all as a JW, only obligation and guilt. I decided that week that I had to do something. I started a diet and exercise program and started focusing on hobbies that made me happy (provided escape from reality). I probably should have gone to get help from a professional, but I was/am somewhat afraid of doctors.

I've been having episodes of depression ever since...still thinking JW's had the truth and yet being unwilling to go back. A little hard to be happy when you think you will destroyed at the big A (which could happen any day) for sure.

It's been difficult the past few weeks facing the fact that I've been well and truly deceived all these years; hard acknowledging personality traits/flaws in myself that allowed this to happen. I'm optomistic now that I'm going to come out of this in much better shape mentally. It really helps being able to see everybody's experiences/research/thoughts here on JWD; to know the real truth...and that I'm not alone.

littletree

I too was already predisposed for depression and anxiety (no joke: i remember feeling depressed as a toddler), so that JW attitude of "if you're feeling down it's because you're not doing enough" was NO help. Although I still struggle with the anxiety disorder, depression not as much, I DEFINITELY felt better about life once I stopped going to the Hall. I was a very sincere Witness, yet I never felt good about myself because I struggled with field service. That "low hour publisher" label is really hard for someone who has low self-esteem. And to see other young Witnesses who I KNEW were hypocrites, but were pioneers, put up on a pedestal... it really hurt. The elders, who mostly do not understand mental and emotional illness, only had Watchtower-textbook answers: pray more, study harder, go out in service and you'll feel better. It wasn't enough. I am now comfortable with the fact that I'm not sure about God, or life, because it's all a learning process. I no longer associate my emotional health with "spiritual weakness". Like I said, I still have rough days, but nothing like before.

HadEnuf

Yeah. Was in counseling for a while. Then my therapist was killed by a drunk driver and I never went for more counseling from someone else. My regular dr. is a big help and I am currently on a combination of antidepressants that seem to help. I'm "up" now more than "down".

Being a JW for over 4 decades destroys portions of your brain. How can one not be depressed? Such a waste of one's life.

Cathy L.

GetBusyLiving

I feel much happier now as an athiest than I was as a dub. Facing up to the truth, realizing life is short and that we are so fortunete to even be alive.. it gives me a warm feeling of immediacy that is something I can really work with. Letting go of the idea of some invisible God playing mind games and invisible spirit creatures manipulating people feels so much more right, it makes so much more sense.

GBL

cyber-sista

Yes,

Somedays I feel well centered and removed from JW world and almost happy, but on other days I get triggered by some JW encounter and it all feels rather surreal again--kind of like I get trapped in the feeling again and it makes me feel angry and depressed to be in that mode again. There are still some who try to "encourage" me by rambling on about their theocratic activities (latest magazine, assembly, et) I am learning more about how to turn them off, as I can't handle their chatter. I would like to blurt out to them all i know about their beloved org, but some are so fragile that I am afraid it could break them, but most likely I would be branded as a crazy apostate. this is another major frustration to me as it makes me feel trapped and angry too. I also get depressed when I see others in there who are still suffering--my own sister rejecting her 2 sons and their pain from being rejected. NO, it is not a "happifying" situation, though the use of that WT word cracks me up a bit. I guess the sarcastic humour that some display on this board helps me too. The WT org is so bizarre it verges on being ridicuously funny at time.

cybs

franklin J

I was in therapy to help deal with the depression for two years. It seems to have been caused by the upheavel in my life by leaving the JWs. My therapist described it as "culture shock".

I never took any kind of anti depressant drugs; instead I got very involved with physical excercise. Years later I can say that it helped. What also helped immeasurably was social networking and making new friends.

There is a lite at the end of the tunnel ( and it is NOT armageddon!)

PS. Moanzy; those little kids in your avatar are beautiful!

Whiskeyjack

Yes.

I and all of my siblings experience depression. Our parents were hardcore so we were brought up in the proverbial "bubble" with the resultant retarded personal development. To be fair, our family has a genetic history of depression and the org. upbringing (no double-living!) excaserbated (sp?) this latent problem.

We deliberately starting celebrating birthdays years later (we're all faders) to develop stronger senses of self and personal worth, but none of us have any life goals, we're just existing. We try to help each other since our parents aren't intellectually nor emotionally able to tackle any of these issues (we don't respond well to their preaching anymore while we do try to maintain some contact!).

We're attempting to get the youngest into therapy right now though I haven't tried therapy or drugs myself. I've just emerged from one of those "troughs", deciding it's still better to be alive in a world of possibilities than dead despite my lack of accomplishment or my embarassment over my "wasted" life.

W.

frankiespeakin

Whisky,

Don't fall for the culteral conditionings that tell you have to do something big or famous or have lots of money they are all holow anyway. Be yourself who ever that may be at the present.

JWs And Ex-JWs--Do You Struggle With Depression Because You Were A JW?