Stupid Analogies/Illustrations/examples you hear dubs say over and over (page 6)

doodle-v

LMAO Doc!!

The Debil is making you throw up because he doesnt want you to accept the meat in due season. You've been feeding too long on the junk food from the table of the deemunz

-Doodle-V

THERE WAS A FARMER WHO RAISED SHEEP AND HAD TROUBLE WITH WOLVES STEALING HIS SHEEP. HE LOVED HIS SHEEP AND DIDN'T WANT TO LOSE EVEN ONE OF THEM. ONE DAY, THE WOLVES CAME AND THE FARMER QUICKLY RAISED HIS RIFLE AND POW! - KILLED EVERY WOLF HE SHOT AT! AS HE TURNED HIS RIFLE TOWARD A SHADOW, HE SAW A WOLF PUP HUDDLING BESIDE A FENCE POST SHIVERING. THE FARMER FELT SORRY FOR HIM, PICKED HIM UP, TUCKED HIM INSIDE HIS COAT AND TOOK HIM HOME.

AS TIME PASSED, THE FARMER GREW TO LOVE THE WOLF PUP AND TOOK HIM EVERY DAY TO HELP HIM TEND HIS SHEEP. THE SHEEP LOVED THE PUP, TOO AND THOUGHT OF HIM AS ONE OF THEM. THE WOLF PUP LEARNED TO CALL THE SHEEP BY THEIR NAMES, JUST LIKE THE FARMER DID. IT WASN'T LONG BEFORE HE GREW TO FULL SIZE AND THE FARMER TRUSTED HIM TO CARE FOR HIS SHEEP WHILE HE RODE TO TOWN TO BUY SUPPLIES.

THEN, ONE DAY THE WOLF PUP WAS RUNNING IN THE FARMER'S FIELD AND HEARD HOWLING IN THE WOODS. HE RAN TO THE EDGE OF THE FENCE AND WATCHED AS A PACK OF WOLVES APPROACHED. THEY SEEMED HAPPY TO SEE HIM, ALTHOUGH HE DIDN'T RECOGNIZE THEM. ONE BY ONE THEY TOLD HIM OF ALL THE FUN THEY WERE HAVING, RUNNING ANYWHERE THEY WANTED, DOING WHATEVER THEY PLEASED...NO ONE TELLING THEM WHAT TO DO!

THEY INVITED HIM TO COME ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE FENCE WITH THEM. THE WOLF PUP THOUGHT ABOUT THE FENCE AND HOW HE'D NEVER BEEN ON THE OTHER SIDE OF IT. THE MORE HE LISTENED HE BEGAN TO WONDER IF HE WAS MISSING OUT ON SOMETHING. IT ONLY TOOK ANOTHER MINUTE AND HE DUG UNDER THE FENCE AND LEFT WITH THE PACK. FOR THREE SEASONS HE LIVED WITH THE WOLVES. THEY HAD PLENTY TO EAT AND DID WHATEVER THEY WANTED. IT WAS SUCH FUN AND HE WAS GLAD FOR THE CHOICE HE MADE.

BUT WINTER CAME AND EVERYONE BECAME HUNGRY AND RESTLESS. IT WAS COLD, SO COLD, WHERE THEY HAD TO SLEEP. THE WOLF PUP BEGAN TO THINK AB0UT THE FARMER AND HOW HE'D NEVER SLEPT COLD AND NEVER FELT HUNGER. SOON, HE HEARD THE LEADER OF THE PACK ANNOUNCE IT WAS TIME TO STEAL SOME OF THE FARMER'S SHEEP, SO THEY COULD SURVIVE THE WINTER.

THE WOLF PUP LOUDLY EXCLAIMED, "NO, THEY ARE MY FRIENDS, DON'T HURT THEM." BUT THE LEADER SAID, "YOU'RE ONE OF US NOW, DO AS YOU'RE TOLD!" THEY ALL BEGAN TO RUN FAST TOWARD THE FARMER'S PROPERTY. THE WOLF PUP RELUCTANTLY FOLLOWED. SOON THEY ARRIVED AND BEGAN TO DIG UNDER THE FARMER'S FENCE. THE FARMER HEARD HIS SHEEP CRY OUT SO HE GRABBED HIS RIFLE AND RAN TO SHOOT AT THE WOLVES. BANG!

HE KILLED ONE AFTER ANOTHER AND SOON WAS FACE TO FACE WITH A WOLF BACKED UP AGAINST THE FENCE POST WHO CRIED OUT, "WAIT, DON'T SHOOT ME. I'M THE PUP YOU'VE RAISED. I'M YOUR FRIEND. DON'T YOU REMEMBER ME?"

BUT THE FARMER LOOKED AT THE WOLF AND SAW HOW MATTED HIS COAT WAS AND HOW HE SMELLED LIKE THE REST OF THE PACK. HE SAID TO THE WOLF, "I DON'T KNOW YOU." HE RAISED HIS RIFLE AND SHOT....BANG!!!! THE WOLF WAS DEAD!

BROTHER MCINTOSH SAID THAT THERE WAS SILENCE IN THE AUDITORIUM, AND THEN THE BROTHER GIVING THE TALK SAID, "BROTHERS, WHEN ARMAGEDDON COMES AND JESUS IS DOING HIS DESTRUCTION WORK, WILL HE RECOGNIZE YOU?"

Jez

"It's THEIR choice to leave, they knew the consequences of their actions, yet they still choose to leave Jehovah" (insert shoulder shrug here and hands raised to the heavens)

consequences of their actions=loss of all family members

Leolaia

Train controller letting son be run over by train rather than letting train full of people die.

This makes Jesus' coming to earth sound like a stupid mistake like stepping in front of a train; even the WTS teaches (through the ransom doctrine) that Jesus came to save people from sin and death. The analogy would have Jesus running to a perfectly normal running train saying "I'll save you, I'm coming to save you" which itself creates the danger of letting a train full of people die in order to prevent the train from squashing Jesus. If there already was a problem with the train that would elicit Jesus' attempt to save it, then the analogy would make the effort entirely futile.

I wonder if they've elaborated the scenario in a way that avoids these pitfalls....

How about likening the resurrected person's "life pattern" with the recording of a music performance on audio tape? I hated that one....

ChakkaConned

"There is NO CAUSE for stumbling"...Translation=You left the truth because you wanted to, it's your fault, your heart became wicked,you weren't of our sort, disregard that whole millstone thing, etc. etc.

Swan

BUT THE FARMER LOOKED AT THE WOLF AND SAW HOW MATTED HIS COAT WAS AND HOW HE SMELLED LIKE THE REST OF THE PACK. HE SAID TO THE WOLF, "I DON'T KNOW YOU." HE RAISED HIS RIFLE AND SHOT....BANG!!!! THE WOLF WAS DEAD!
BROTHER MCINTOSH SAID THAT THERE WAS SILENCE IN THE AUDITORIUM, AND THEN THE BROTHER GIVING THE TALK SAID, "BROTHERS, WHEN ARMAGEDDON COMES AND JESUS IS DOING HIS DESTRUCTION WORK, WILL HE RECOGNIZE YOU?"

So, the moral of the story if you are a JW,is... it isn't okay to be a wolf, as Jehovah created you. It's not okay to live in the wild, your natural habitat. You must learn to be something other than what you are. You must ignore your instincts. You must go against your nature to please the farmer. You must not investigate other places to live or talk to others of your kind.

Geesh! What a terrible analogy!

I bet they all went "Ah!" and nodded their heads when they heard this one.

Tammy

ljwtiamb

This is one of the latest that a bethelite told me that comes from a heavy at breakfast (paraphrase):

1914 was so long ago, that we are not in the last days, but down to the final minutes of this wicked system!

tijkmo

you cant stumble a sheep.....(of course you cant ..jesus must have been wrong then)

you cant make a goat into a sheep by filing down its horns...(no but you can make a lion into a lamb)

Stupid Analogies/Illustrations/examples you hear dubs say over and over

Share this