Dubs telling people who they should and should not marry.

LongHairGal

I know of several experiences of couples who got married against the unwanted advice of the busybodies at the hall. And I am not talking about a sixteen year old girl marrying a seventeen year old boy either!

These were people way over 30.

Now you might ask me who the hell these busybodies were. From what I could gather, they usually were the elders and older pioneer sisters who gossiped about everybody there.

They see themselves as a panel of judges over other people's lives. Now I could see if somebody knew an important piece of information about a bro/sis that was serious (like he was a criminal who changed his name, etc.). If I were courting somebody I would hope somebody would tell me!!

But no, what I am referring to is just general trashing and unwarranted intrusion into adult people's lives by a bunch of absolute morons.

tijkmo

couple of years back an elder in my ex-kh got a message from his previous kh that an old 'friend' had died...he related to me that it was someone they had had to speak with about getting married

no not to an unbeliever...no wrongdoing involved...just there was a significant age gap

the women was 40-ish...the man was 60-ish

so this young 27/28 year old newly appointed (happily-married) elder thought he had the right to advise two older wiser more mature people that they were making a mistake

counsel was along the lines of whether the 'younger' woman had seriously considered whether she could cope with fact that her much older husband was going to need constant care in the not too distant future and would die first

not only is this blatant agism...its also none of his business

oh yeah ...and guess who had died first

JH

Elders should bud out of your personal love life...

When you're an adult, you make your own decisions.

No one will tell me who to love or not to love....JW or not....

mapleaf18

not if the 60 yr old lives 4ever. . .

Dragonlady76

Amazing that in a developed country we have people that would actually take advice such as this to heart. I have heard of people being told that brother or sister so and so is not mature enough in the "troof" for marriage, that they have to be baptized first, and they will not bellowed to use kingdumb hall for their ceremony. It's any wonder that they have not just out right started arranging marriages per the GB.

DL76

lilybird

In the congregation I used to attend , there was a very pretty 24 year old sister, never been married, She started dating a 40something brother who was widowed with 7 kids, one was just a year old. They decided to marry, but shortly before the wedding, she started to have doubts and wanted to put off the wedding. Who could blame her? The elders had a meeting with her and told her she had to marry him and being engaged was as good as married in god's eyes. We went to the ceremony..She was over an hour late, guess she was trying to pluck up the courage to go thru with it. They did stay married long enough to have a daughter, but she wasn't really happy. Im not sure if they are still married as they moved away and we disassociated ourselves soon after. We always felt sorry that her life had been manipulated this way by elders who had no business interferring.

Chia

I knew someone who was getting married. It was a happy time. Everyone was very happy. Shortly before the wedding, something came out about the husband. It wasn't defined what he had done, but it was sufficient enough so that they could not get married in the Kingdom Hall. It disturbed me. Just because he made a mistake, she's screwed. All those plans they made, and now they have to scramble and find another place to have the wedding and shell out more money undoubtedly. And, how was I able to find out that it was him that screwed up? An elder told us. Don't you think it's embarrassing enough to have everyone know you aren't getting married at the KH, and on top of it, an elder you trust is spreading your gossip?

rebel8

oh yeah ...and guess who had died first

Let me guess, the elder? <grins>

Thegoodgirl

Yes, my older sister, same thing. She was engaged, fiancee started showing his true colors, but she was told by him and others that engaged was as good as being married (Why just look at Mary and Joseph!) So she married him and thankfully they got a divorce 4 years later before they had any kids.

sweet tee

If being engaged is as good as being married then why you can't sex????????

Dubs telling people who they should and should not marry.

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