The C.O. and elder came to my house last night! (page 3)

cnn77

PS for the record I am not in any way affiliated with the legal industry.

Pathofthorns

This is so sad Sarah, but not very uncommon.

I feel bad that so many people feel obligated to have Elders and COs in their homes and offer explanations to these people against their wishes. You do not have to talk to anyone and you do not owe anyone an explaination for being inactive.

Many elders detest those who still claim to be Witnesses but who have ceased involvement. They want you "in" or "out", not walking the line, and they will harass certain people until they can't take it anymore.

Many elders also advise relatives against association with a DAed or DFed family member. Although this is against what is stated "officially" in print, it is what the Society wishes to be carried out in actuality.

If you do not wish to Disassociate yourself and you have not submitted a written letter, clarify your comments made to the elders in writing, perhaps using a lawyer.

Simply state that you wish the harrassment and stalking to stop, but that you wish to continue your membership as one of Jehovah's Witnesses.

Then again, perhaps it is fine to just move on. This sort of abuse is very sad. These people are only men, the same sort of people you pass on the street everyday. The only authority they have is what people allow them have.

Path

zev

(((sarah)))

my thoughts and prayers are with you.

i wish to share a small tid-bit of something that came to "light" last week. it shows how underhanded and sneeky the little trolls are, and they even know they are.

an issue came up recently in a watchtower over a certain number of years that was mention in a w.t. the actual years in the bible was different. now this was discussed here, and as i found out on my own what the real explaination was, and it was cleared up here also. but i decided to toss this descrepancy at my wife to see what she thought.

she couldn't answer it. she accussed me of finding this "mistake" on apostate web sites. she said i'm looking for any reason to be negative. actually, i am, but all one has to do is kick up the corner of the carpet and the dirty underside of the watchtower cult is totally exposed. actually, the scripture quoted in the wt, was 2 verses away from the aformentioned years, and if one reads before and after, it was easy to see.

well....
next meeting i went to i asked one of the elders about it. he was dumbfounded...but looked into it.

but what he said next sarah and everyone else out there...really struck home.

be carefull who you ask questions like that of. they could take it the wrong way.

now i didnt get all huffy asking about this, it was just a point i needed to clear up. it wasn't even an issue. if anything very minor.

but it struck home. i now know i can never ask anything that is out of the "norm".

i cannot trust them, that they will take it to a level that it need not be.

to question = apostacy

isn't it a shame?

be strong sarah. don't give the little blue balless boys from krooklyn another thought. they arn't worth the effort to turn the knob on the door to let them in. or the effort needed to pick up the phone when they call.

__
Zev
The greatest consistancy of the WTBTS is their INconsistancy.

Rex B13

U go girl! I am so glad that your husband told them off. Don't feel bad that you were unprepared and off-balance. I have advised people to have a "apostate care package" ready for just such an occurance. It consists of photocopied Watchtower material that will allow you to go right after them where it hurts. THEY will be itching to get out the door. BTW, it also would have been wise to tell them, "now is not a good time, please call when you want to visit us". I give that advice to all who are not prepared at that moment.
Feel free to join us at ex-jwcentral@yahoogroups (used to be e-groups and still is in the European branch).
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/xjw-central
This is a Christian flavored list but no arm twisting to accept any religion or non-belief. We have lots of people to offer you support even get you in touch with fellow ex-jws if you want.
Rex

RationalWitness

Sarah,

If you are at peace having "da'd" yourselves, then you made the right decision. If, on the other hand, you do not feel at peace about the matter, then perhaps (as one of the respondents above suggested) you should call the elders and advise them that you feel you were coerced and intimidated into da'ing yourselves, and you insist on a retraction, else you will seek legal advice. That will immediately slow down the process, as the elders almost certainly will have to contact the Society's legal department for instructions. When I served on a similar committee years ago, it took nearly a year to get the Society's final instructions on handling the situation (we ultimately announced the da'ing, but in your case it sounds as though you have a much better 'case' than the one I have in mind).

Best wishes,
Rational

TweetieBird

Sarah and Husband,

My heart goes out to both of you. I know that someday in the near future I will probably be facing what you just went through.

While everyone's circumstances are different, I think if I were in your shoes, I would first consider it a great relief, but I would also sit down, right away, and write a letter to my friends and family and explain what the situation is. This is your chance to expose the heartless bastards for what they are.

Explain that for a while you have had doubts about certain things and then say what those doubts were. Then proceed with what transpired the night you received your so-called shepherding call. This may be their only chance to hear things about the organization that they might not hear otherwise.

Your family may put up a fence at first, but down the road they might reflect on some of the things you said.

Also, stress that you will always be there for them even if they cannot be there for you at this stressful time.

Keep us posted.

HoChiMin

Sarah;

Sorry to hear your so upset.
Scare tactics like this are from horrible men from a horrible organization.

> "He(the CO) then told us that my brother, sister and mom would not be allowed to speak to us ever again- as if I needed to hear that at that point."

The sad truth is he's right if your family follows the WT rules. Treat them the same as you have always been. You need not play by their rules any longer and will feel better knowing it is not you that is enforcing the cruel shunning policy. I time you might win some of your family over.

HCM

gsark

(((sarah and her husband)))

Terrible, terrible terrible and it doesn't surprise hardly anyone one this board. Many of us have been through it and no doubt many more will go through it as well.

But for what it is worth, the 6 million JW now have 2 less on their rolls, and those numbers are beginning to be noticed. It was brave of you to share your expereinces with us, and I appreciate it and I'm sure everyone here does.

We can never take your family's place, but I hope you find enough support, love, and friendship here to tide you over the next few weeks/months/years however long it takes you to recover.

Just know many of us here love you and will be here for you. They have been here for me.

Agape,

Gsark

Life is a roller coaster. Get in, sit down, shut up and hang on!

waiting

Hello Sarah,

I hope your husband reads some of these responses - so you can help each other sort through the immediate rotten feelings, and then the sighs of relief.

If you do not wish to Disassociate yourself and you have not submitted a written letter, clarify your comments made to the elders in writing, perhaps using a lawyer.
Simply state that you wish the harrassment and stalking to stop, but that you wish to continue your membership as one of Jehovah's Witnesses. -Path

A very good suggestion. Nothing is in writing yet. Make it in writing to the elders and cc: to your attorney (name, address, & phone number) and to your family. If you don't have an attorney - call one, and for a small fee, he'll be glad to receive your letter and start a file with your name on it.

Make the letter as detailed as possible on how the "shepherds" arrived unannounced, etc., etc. Also mention the psychological damage they inflicted upon you by coming to your house in the dark, and the ensuing vomiting, etc. You can go a long way with this train of thought, btw.........

However, if you decide not to do the letter, please be aware that all jw families are different - might be a good idea to contact your family members waaaaay before any announcement, set in motion a future positive flow if possible.

Our elders visited on Christmas Day at my husband's shop (in our side yard.) They asked the exact same question to him. He didn't realize that this was a da'ing question - but he's also incredibly stiff-necked. His answer: "Hell, yes! I just don't want anything to do with this congregation's bunch of lying elders. If I wanta know anything - I'll get it off the Watchtower website."

Then he handed them some pages he had previously printed out just to read - like the official "We do not shun members who simly cease to be involved."

He told me about it - and I immediately wrote a very polite letter to them - cc: to our attorney (who've they dealt with before) and the Service Dept. (who have a file on us.)

Ain't freedom of religion a wonderful concept?

Take care and enjoy your free weekend.

waiting

Vitameatavegamin

Isn't it strange that you can go for months or even years without a sheparding call, but the minute the Elders think there is a problem, they appear at you're door out of nowhere.

A sister once told me that this would be perfectly acceptable as the Elders are doing they're job!

I thought they were supposed to help those who are weak as well.

Just an observation- Thanks!

The C.O. and elder came to my house last night!

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